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for the kanto tournament

6/11/2014 c3 1FerretFlies
This is pretty good. It's great that Serperior was able to withstand Charizard's attacks; it shows that Trip knows how to raise his Pokemon effectively. Just keep in mind that Charizard is a Fire and Flying Type, both of which Grass Types are weak to, and that he's been training for quite a long time.

I like that you had this be settled between Charizard and Serperior as opposed to their trainers. The battle had some unique turns up to the point that it seemed either side could have won. You had the reactions of each Pokemon written out nicely. I like how Charizard acknowledged the power of Serperior's glare. I thought their short conversation at the end between the two was quite amusing, and it did seem to acknowledge that, for the time being, they were content with each other (though I personally agree with Iris. XD They have a little ways to go before that happens.). The little argument between Iris, Tristan, and Trip was a nice touch, though Trip does seem to be a little OC.

Overall, I think you did a great job!
6/8/2014 c3 anonymoos
one more adventure with ash -_- pathétic
5/28/2014 c1 Guest
I agree with Farla.
5/7/2014 c1 Guest
Why did Snivy obey Tristan without command? Borrowed Pokémon only obey other people if they gain the Pokémon's trust, plus if the original trainer tells it to. Besides, Ash's Pokémon would think twice before obeying others.
5/8/2014 c2 FerretFlies
(Computer issues - I swear this is my third time trying to post this!)

Anyway, I'll gladly think of some suggestions. Quick question, though: is the selection just from Ash's Pokemon (I assume so) or the whole group's? (You can PM me this)

A great chapter! I think the battle was very smooth, and the end of it was certainly unexpected. On top of that, Charizard and Serperior having a rivalry... I love it! It's an amazing idea, and I think it should've actually been in the anime as well. It's a very nice touch, and it makes Trip more tnan just a rival - his Serperior is making enemies (or, Charizard, rather), making him more of an interactive character! Wonderful idea!

As for Mega Evolution, I really like that you're bringing some Gen VI into this, and I think you've got something going. However, there was one flaw in this situation. A Mega Evolution can only be activated through respective stones and a CLOSE BOND between trainer and Pokemon as far as I know. While you definitely have something going there, I'm not too sure Mega Evolution can be activated through an abusive trainer. Of course, this could also play into the plot if you wanted it to... Three Kanto Starters can Mega Evolve, so there's something to think about if you wanted to.

Eagerly awaiting the next chapter! Oh, and a quick question: since Mega Evolution is going to be included in this, will Charizard have a taste of it?
1/15/2014 c1 150Farla
Try harder.
1/12/2014 c1 1FerretFlies
This is great, trystrike! 'Looks like your OC is a natural at battling. He has to be if Snivy obeyed him without question. XD I'm quite curious as to what the remaining three Pokemon are. While I do have a few guesses, one can never be too sure...
You wrote the battle scene quite well. Lots of detail in the orders and actions. One thing I think you could add to it is the announcer. They usually make quite a few comments during the battle. Iris in here is... wow. She's awesome. Yelling at Ash. It doesn't get much better than that. It's hilarious.

Waiting for the next chapter!

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