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2/8/2015 c2 36DiddyKF1
OMG! I just saw the video, and I'm laughing my head off! SO FRIGGIN' HILARIOUS! I think Tails may become a genius on pranks as long as he keeps this up!
2/8/2015 c1 DiddyKF1
Man, this was so funny! I'm suddenly hungry for a chocolate bar myself!
1/26/2015 c4 6Metal1784
It's always nice to see some humour in this dark, angsty land of Sonic fanfiction.

Australian humour is certainly interesting. I feel like the idea came from a real life event or something. This was a pretty entertaining chapter and I quite like it.

Okay, so now for two things I'd just like to mention.

'Vanilla and Cream was able to concoct' - No, not 'was', it should be 'were', since you're talking about more than one character.

There was one thing that bugged me a tad in this one. I appreciate that Knuckles isn't the sharpest tool in the shed, but you make him seem overly dumb with the football-shaped cake. Yes, Knux is a little dim, and I appreciate that you've exaggerated this for the humour, but it still comes across as a little excessive. :)

Overall, a pleasant and enjoyable read.

- Metal
1/25/2015 c4 4D.stortion
Since it's short so far and I don't have much to say, I decided I'd review the last chapter for the overall story.

First of all, I really liked the first and second chapter. I thought those were interesting reads, with all those details about each focus (such as the behavior thingy in chap 1 or the CAPAC in chap 2) and all the important explanations about how everything worked. Honestly everything was pretty clear and that's great, I can now make CAPACs in my house too!

I think the humor is good, I like it and I laughed out loud a few times actually.

Though it's not necessarily a bad thing (and/or not something you might have control over, your studies come first after all), the sudden change from chapter 2 to 3 and 4 was strange. But hey, I still liked those chapters!

One thing I'd like to say is maybe not using parenthesis all that much. You used them lots of times, sometimes to explain things that have already explained. An example would be the CAPAC: You explained what it meant once, but then you did so more multiple times through the chapter which was not very necessary unless it was Tails explaining it to another character (and at the same time, reminding the reader of what it was!).

There were a few typos, like using Rogue and not Rouge and at one point in chapter 4 there's this part: "Hey Shadow... What do you think of the besoekers?" Sonic asked Knuckles. I think you might have wanted to write "Hey Knuckles" and not "Shadow".

I think that's it and aside from the nitpicking, I enjoyed reading this very much.
12/27/2014 c3 6Metal1784
As promised, I'm here to review this chapter for you!

Opening sentence is good. It poises the milieu and the environment well.

I'd like to suggest a quick revision you could implement? The second sentence could be changed to this: 'With just 24 hours left 'til Christmas, hustle and bustle was the atmosphere across Mobius.' I don't feel as though the fragmentation in the first paragraph is really needed for the opening, as you're setting a friendly disposition. 'Til is also an abbreviation of sorts, so the apostrophe just makes it look a little cleaner.

In the second paragraph, you repeat the word 'central' a few times. The 'central point' part doesn't really have any relevance - the sentence would still be fine without the 'central' bit. There's a point in which the shoppers are gathering. No need to emphasise the central-ness of it.

You could have described the surroundings of the characters a bit more - are there lights around the city? Fake snow? Real snow? Is there lots of colour in the city? Elaboration would be lovely to add to the overall mood and whatnot. I personally would want to describe everything a little more, since I find it difficult to picture a scene without pretty vivid imagery.

One little typo - 'put of Marine' should be 'put off Marine.' Or, this could be changed to 'put Marine off.' Just reads a little nicer that way in my opinion. Also, should 'obese as Santa' be 'obese like Santa'?

Other than these things, I like this story! The humour is nice, the atmosphere is fun and friendly, and the ending is great. A very nice read overall. Keep up the great work. :)

- Metal
2/25/2014 c1 1ethempat
This very funny! Just a piece of advice, they don't call each other mates. I believe only Marine says that. I may be wrong. But still, this was so funny! Especially the ending when Chip's like, "Want a chocolate?"
MeadowHasCome
P.S. I share an account with AgentDolly, I only am allowed to use this one to review. ;-)
KEEP UP WITH THE AWESOMENESS!
2/25/2014 c2 aesthetic umbrella
Hilarious!

Update soon! XD
1/23/2014 c1 49ShinyShiny9
Nice! I haven't a clue what the famous scene might be, but I'm sure someone will figure it out.
Overall, the clowning around in between the lessons is funny, and the lesson itself is cool. The idea of Chip carrying sherbet around with him . . . wow. Being Light Gaia has its perks! XD
Heavy-duty scholastic stuff in a humor fic can be tricky to do, though - personally I like it, but in terms of general audience you may lose a few readers for trying to be educational. Since this is going to be a collection of one-shots, it might work to net more readers in the beginning with a purely silly story or two, then slip in the educational topics later once you get people hooked.
Either way though, it's your call. Good luck with your future stories! Peace out.
1/22/2014 c1 14sonicfan1990
Hello there Captain Hwawrang,

It's a great pleasure of mine to finally be able to read your works. From the story, I can tell you have thorough understanding of the subjects of your major(s) (I don't know whether Science and Psychology are two different majors at your university or not, but they are at mine in Vietnam), and that your explanations are concise and easy to grasp (even for someone like me). You even provide examples. Nothing is better than studying with your favorite fictional characters.

Your writing is good. I see that you have almost no trouble with spelling and vocabulary, but I do have to point out the minor problem regarding the words "couch" and "coach" in the second and third paragraphs. I suppose it's due to slight oversight. I know, that happens a lot to me as well, no matter how many times I review and recheck my stories. Also, you kind of left out Big's name at the beginning of the story.

In addition, in the final sentence of the first paragraph, you used inversion, but instead of using "Little did Team Sonic, Big and Amy know,..." you used "knew". I'm sorry if I'm being annoying, but I'm a little meticulous about grammar because I want to be an English teacher in the future (writing fanfictions is an amazing method to study and revise vocabulary and grammar for me, and I'm doing my best to make sure I have everything correct).

One final piece of advice from me (and this one I also learned from other authors), you should diversify the ways you refer to the characters. Referring to them simply as "Team Sonic" or by names from start to finish can make your story repetitive. Try to use their unique features, personalities, facial expressions, etc. to talk about them. That should make the story more interesting to read.

All in all, the first story was fine (actually, you made less mistakes than me when I wrote my first story). Also, I'm really sorry if I'm being annoying with my rambling. Oh, and before I forget, thank you very much for your time and support. I will do my best to finish my own story as soon as possible. Thank you again, and keep on imagining and writing, friend. The world is filled with endless wonders, and imagination is one of the keys we use to unlock those wonders (not sure if that makes any sense).

Yours sincerely,
Sonicfan1990
1/22/2014 c1 aesthetic umbrella
Nice ;)
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