for One Last breath8/24/2017 c1 
21ilookhotinblack
Wow... that was so emotional I had tears in my eyes and for a split second of a moment I actually hated Jeff and Alan's brothers of course I know it's isn't real but it was so powerful I really did not like the Tracy brothers minus Alen. But I would of loved to see jack and the other nurses tear into ieff, cause if I had been there I would of decked Alan's brother regardless of the outcome
21ilookhotinblackWow... that was so emotional I had tears in my eyes and for a split second of a moment I actually hated Jeff and Alan's brothers of course I know it's isn't real but it was so powerful I really did not like the Tracy brothers minus Alen. But I would of loved to see jack and the other nurses tear into ieff, cause if I had been there I would of decked Alan's brother regardless of the outcome
4/27/2016 c1 Guest
A beautiful but dark showed me not to ignor the people we love or we might just lose them all made me cry that is an a achivment. Congrates
A beautiful but dark showed me not to ignor the people we love or we might just lose them all made me cry that is an a achivment. Congrates
7/29/2015 c1 72criminally charmed
totally bawling. Lost both parents to cancer so I can all too clearly understand Alan's suffering.
72criminally charmedtotally bawling. Lost both parents to cancer so I can all too clearly understand Alan's suffering.
3/25/2015 c1 139Stormyskies89
Just one note:
"a bed table thing" I think you mean "gurney". Just so you know. But I understand sometimes it's hard to know what they're called.
I liked it. We all know that sometimes Alan's family believes that he makes desperate cries for attention. Although you think at least one of them would listen to him. Even if it was just John or Gordon. They seems to be the ones most likely to listen to him if he needed them too. Well done though. good job.
139Stormyskies89Just one note:
"a bed table thing" I think you mean "gurney". Just so you know. But I understand sometimes it's hard to know what they're called.
I liked it. We all know that sometimes Alan's family believes that he makes desperate cries for attention. Although you think at least one of them would listen to him. Even if it was just John or Gordon. They seems to be the ones most likely to listen to him if he needed them too. Well done though. good job.
6/9/2014 c1 8Jazz's lil ninja
Loved it even though it brought everything back for me as I lost a close friend in 2012 to osteosarcoma, just before Christmas as well but I love the story so don't listen to those other people :)
8Jazz's lil ninjaLoved it even though it brought everything back for me as I lost a close friend in 2012 to osteosarcoma, just before Christmas as well but I love the story so don't listen to those other people :)
1/31/2014 c1 20REBD
it was sad, but well writen i like it. i show you shouldn't take thing for granted because you never know when it will be gone and once lost you might not get them back ever
20REBDit was sad, but well writen i like it. i show you shouldn't take thing for granted because you never know when it will be gone and once lost you might not get them back ever
1/29/2014 c1 73cathrl
The problem with this is that it just doesn't make sense at a fundamental level. The whole premise requires that everyone has to behave like idiots or very small children, not for minutes but for months, and not just the Tracys but all the medical and school professionals too, just so you can get your weepy scene at the end.
There's nothing wrong with a "forgotten about until it's too late" type of story. But it works much better when you can actually imagine it happening. For instance, imagine Alan had tried to tell his fathers and brothers that his knees hurt a few times, and they'd laughed it off and told him he needed a better excuse to get out of PE... you could still have the same sort of "oh crap" moment when he collapses and the doctors call Jeff to tell them that it's incurable cancer, without requiring all this suspension of disbelief that a dying child could be in hospital for months without even one of the adults responsible for his immediate care bothering to tell his father what was going on.
73cathrlThe problem with this is that it just doesn't make sense at a fundamental level. The whole premise requires that everyone has to behave like idiots or very small children, not for minutes but for months, and not just the Tracys but all the medical and school professionals too, just so you can get your weepy scene at the end.
There's nothing wrong with a "forgotten about until it's too late" type of story. But it works much better when you can actually imagine it happening. For instance, imagine Alan had tried to tell his fathers and brothers that his knees hurt a few times, and they'd laughed it off and told him he needed a better excuse to get out of PE... you could still have the same sort of "oh crap" moment when he collapses and the doctors call Jeff to tell them that it's incurable cancer, without requiring all this suspension of disbelief that a dying child could be in hospital for months without even one of the adults responsible for his immediate care bothering to tell his father what was going on.
1/28/2014 c1 Mickie
There was a few typos, but nothing major. This was a really good story.
There was a few typos, but nothing major. This was a really good story.
1/28/2014 c1 Scrubs
I'm just going to wade in here, and suggest you add Movieverse and Tracys OOC to your summary. That'll steady the boat. As long as people can read that it is Movieverse based, and they can see that the Tracys will be Out of Character (OOC), then then those with a problem with it - won't read it.
Other wise, good grammar, sentence structure and spelling - and my only complaint would be the unrealistic nature that the school, hospital or health insurance company didn't contact Jeff.
I'm just going to wade in here, and suggest you add Movieverse and Tracys OOC to your summary. That'll steady the boat. As long as people can read that it is Movieverse based, and they can see that the Tracys will be Out of Character (OOC), then then those with a problem with it - won't read it.
Other wise, good grammar, sentence structure and spelling - and my only complaint would be the unrealistic nature that the school, hospital or health insurance company didn't contact Jeff.
1/26/2014 c1 Secret
Excuse me Trillianaus but if someone is brave enough to post their work on here they don't need you bringing them down. Also it's probably based on the movie and in the move you can get the impression the Tracy's don't care.I thought it was brilliant!
You go girl and please don't delete this I like it.
Secret (I just can't be bothered logining in)
Excuse me Trillianaus but if someone is brave enough to post their work on here they don't need you bringing them down. Also it's probably based on the movie and in the move you can get the impression the Tracy's don't care.I thought it was brilliant!
You go girl and please don't delete this I like it.
Secret (I just can't be bothered logining in)
1/25/2014 c1 Trillianaus
Virtually unchanged from the last time you published this. So far out of character for all the characters. The school didn't inform Alan's parent/ family that he'd collapsed at school and was hospitalized? Alan's a minor and hospitalised for months - who was picking up the gap payments between what his health insurance (( which would be under his dad's family policy)? This sort of claim for a minor child, and the insurer wouldn't have contacted the policy owner? Yes fiction is about suspending disbelief, but the story needs to have internal validity... ring true to its mythos.
Have you ever watched the t:v series? Their strength comes from their togetherness as a family.
Virtually unchanged from the last time you published this. So far out of character for all the characters. The school didn't inform Alan's parent/ family that he'd collapsed at school and was hospitalized? Alan's a minor and hospitalised for months - who was picking up the gap payments between what his health insurance (( which would be under his dad's family policy)? This sort of claim for a minor child, and the insurer wouldn't have contacted the policy owner? Yes fiction is about suspending disbelief, but the story needs to have internal validity... ring true to its mythos.
Have you ever watched the t:v series? Their strength comes from their togetherness as a family.