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for Mobius Mateship Tennis Cup!

2/25/2014 c1 aesthetic umbrella
Awesome! Love the nicknames!

Yea, Sonic would have been a fan of Michael Jackson! His shoes are based off of Jackson's shoes, anyway.

Loved Omega's name! Hilarious! XD

AgentDolly
1/28/2014 c1 14sonicfan1990
Sorry for the late reply, mate. I haven't logged in for a while other than to make updates. First thing I'd like to say is that I'm dying to see the first match-up.

For starter, the nicknames are really nice, creative and fun. They're a good way to make reference to other series. Oh, I particularly love Omega's. It does make one wonder what his first serve will be like? (or whether he will be serving time after the first "KABOOM!"). Really good stuff you have there.

The vocabulary is fine in this one, but the grammar in the rules could use some work. Since you asked me to make constructive criticism, I'll give you a little bit of advice, friendly advice of course. :)
_Rule 3: Normal doubles tennis regulations 'are applied' (passive voice, since rules can only be enforced by people)
_Rule 4: I think you meant 'team members' instead of 'teams member' (I think it's a slight oversight)
_Rule 6: The only outside "tool" that can be used is the Chaos Emeralds (use article "the" since we all know about the Chaos Emerald)

I hope I'm not being too noisy or annoying, I simply want to offer you some friendly advice on grammar since you seem to accept concrit as a writer, and since you asked me to. Well, all in all, the first chapter is funny and exciting. I'm looking forward to seeing the upcoming events. Keep writing, mate.
1/27/2014 c1 3Cpt. H
Reply to Lord Kelvin and an update on this chapter...

You may have noticed an editorial change here. Before this change, there was be a massive big empty space-what happened is that I tried to submit a table in this chapter. Unfortunately, somehow it has not turned out very well. I felt a bit shocked about this. Thank you very much for notifying me about this- this error has now been fixed and as a result this chapter is easier to read.

Lord Kelvin you are displaying mateship here- thank you very much for your support and help.

Captain Hwawrang.

Captain Hwawrang.
1/25/2014 c1 werewolf lover99
I really can't wait until chapter 2 to see the matches. BTW i'm a male.
1/26/2014 c1 19Lord Kelvin
Omega-style Shotguns need filling.

That empty space in the middle of the chapter. Get rid of it. The story begins, goes swimmingly and then...nothing! Make it stop. If you must do lists, do them in one line, so I can skip. When the teams come for a match, the narrative will tell me who's where.

Camps on the side of non-action, but is so unique in the spin-off sense that it's bound to be enjoyable. Even if it tanks, this is a brave start. Sonic tennis can be dangerous. Excellent!

Have a nice, abuse-free day.
1/25/2014 c1 49ShinyShiny9
Tennis all aside, Omega starts with bonus points already, for best nickname. XD

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