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for Son of the Snake

3/16/2014 c8 2Kunoichi of the Moonlit Night
Good luck with your surgery I hope your recovery goes well. Is the seal breaking down ? Is Naruto's memory going to come back?
3/9/2014 c7 idea.getthe
Red preserved vegi? Come on... You can pick a better name... Though it does make sense since most character in naruto is based on food
3/9/2014 c7 4Rosebunse
You did your best!
3/6/2014 c6 Guest
I really didn't like the "almost like fear" description of Gaara. Even when facing Naruto with Kyubi powers he didn't bet an eyelid, and it has a set power. Naruto being stronger than canon also wouldn't face him unless he's noticeably, and a lot stronger than Gaara's dad (which would be ridiculous) whom Gaara thought with on regular bases as a kid.

Worst thing you see is Naruto in these kinds of stories is Gaara being either nerfed or Naruto boosted to the level he's got no problem with him, aka close to Madara, Tobi, Minato and the few others who could toy with that kid - He's close to kage-level already, given that he's one of the characters who has shown the least growth in strength between the exams and the current war.

Especially if he ended up with scraps against some random chunin who didn't make it.
I mean, Gaara killed that kind of trash as a kid without getting wounded even once.

Not that I'm some kind of Gaara fanboy, suippuuded sorta ruined him a bit (what can I say, I liked the murderous crazy kid) but common...

Either way, the story is pretty good. A solid 3/5. Only thing I could see ruin this is Naruto leaving Orochimaru before he's killed and somehow making all his friends in sound join him. I just don't see that logically happening even if he got his memories back. He still has it a lot better in sound, more friends and above all, years of loyalty. Sure, he'd be pissed, but Orochimaru would probably be forgiven pretty quickly because of all the good he's done for him, and the fact that he did it for Naruto's own best, something he'll realize when he isn't a kid anymore, which he's not, at least not mentally.

Or it turning into some unrealistic pairing, like slash or harem.

Don't like the gender changing of Haku either, mostly because it sorta ruins his character - And that I'm against gender bending characters. (just pick another character to write if you can't handle the gender...)

And the portraying of Sasuke is off, you've somehow Narutofied Sasuke to make him look worse, and Sasukefied Naruto to make him look better - Something I find highly ironic... But yeah, he's as OOC as Naruto, well almost. But at least Naruto has a reason for his changes. (not that all characters aren't OOC in fanfiction, nor that it's a bad thing, but still)

And Naruto wanting to kill Shikamaru for knowing who he is, when he knows Hinata already does, makes no sense. At least not for that reason. I mean, it's already out there...

Language is good, actually most of the stuff I didn't mention in a negative light is. But why change what works? So why even mention it? Unless you want an ego boost. If you do, play Joe Esposito - You're The Best Around, works for me (and any decent human being)

Good luck
3/5/2014 c6 2Kunoichi of the Moonlit Night
Not a fan of Orochimaru but I'm really enjoying this story . I love how Naruto is not totally dark that even being Orochimaru he still retained his personality. I'm surprised that the village at least ninja side are not panicking more about the disappearance of Naruto and the nine tails. Looking forward to your next update :D
3/1/2014 c6 Guest
supert history
3/3/2014 c2 7TardyTanuki
Uu, Aurea seems like a cool character. I like her!

And now the Hokage is panicking. :D Well, I'm glad he is - HE SHOULD.

Naruto is just being adorable. And Naruto. :D I can picture him being kidnapped and afterwards just being... cheery and naive, like he is. :D So, very well portrayed!

And the younger the mind tampering starts, the better results. :3 I'm eager to see how this all plays out and what are Orochimaru's final goals!
3/3/2014 c1 TardyTanuki
So yes, I do like this! I find the idea quite intriguing. :3
I do find it odd though that hokage and the villagers wouldn't panic a lot more - they just lost the nine tails. :D (Well, maybe the villagers are just stupid and don't realize they just lost one of their best weapons...)

And Orochimaru is his creepy self! :3
3/1/2014 c6 4Rosebunse
Very good!
3/1/2014 c5 Illuminated
Cinnamon? This is how you hook up hinata with Naruto, eh?
3/1/2014 c6 Black Shades of Red
Aww, like father like son; Naruto is so cute accepting Orchimaru as his father after being alone in Konoha. Hopefully, you do not have him turn his back to his father. At this point having him return to Konoha seems disappointing since he has gained a family in Sound.
2/23/2014 c5 Rosebunse
LOL It was funny!
2/16/2014 c4 Guest
supert history
2/16/2014 c4 Rosebunse
2/8/2014 c3 Rosebunse
Very nice!
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