for Battle of Superiority7/24/2017 c1 Jack
I love were this is going, so please do continue this story, you have my support.
I love were this is going, so please do continue this story, you have my support.
1/24/2016 c1 Guest
Get back to work this fanfic
Get back to work this fanfic
9/10/2015 c1 Guest
Houshou isn't a standard carrier
It's a light carrier and japan's first carrier,it had a very very small airgroup that was quite useless really,it had ww1 aircraft only,consisting of torps and fighters,and not very good ones either,honestly it's more of a scout or escort carrier than a light carrier and much less a standard carrier
Houshou isn't a standard carrier
It's a light carrier and japan's first carrier,it had a very very small airgroup that was quite useless really,it had ww1 aircraft only,consisting of torps and fighters,and not very good ones either,honestly it's more of a scout or escort carrier than a light carrier and much less a standard carrier
12/9/2014 c1 Kit
I actually had a dream about this story. I had just read the first part where you had the 20 or so things that needed to be know and then I went to bed and had a dream about flying girls and fog ships. Looks good for a first chapter and I hope you update sometime soon. I was reading some of the reviews and I saw that some people think the fog are overpowered and honestly that really isn't a problem with me if you still give them challenges. If something is fighting something else and one is overpowered, challenge that fight with something unfair. For example, make the other more tactical, or give them overwhelming numbers, or put a traitor in somewhere, or the other cheats in someway, or cut the other off from all forms of friendly contact. Something like that and it doesn't even have to be that big of a thing. You could give the overpowered fight a muscle twitch at just the wrong time or have them miss their game ending shot and have little power left over or something like that. Keep it interesting.
Also, remember to tell it from the personal level of the people fighting or overseeing the fight. I've seen it happen before. Someone sets up a great story like this in epic proportions and then tells it like it was from a history book. They tell everything that happens in the strategic plane with all the strategies that are used but leave out all the fighters personal problems. Their is no emotions, drama, and sometimes even no action. It has no epic fights in great detail. Just epic fights summarized for the readers convenience. Its boring. I don't want to see that happen to this story.
This last suggestion is just that, a suggestion. Have something bad, or many things bad happen to the good guys. It adds suspense afterwords because there actually is something on the line that the readers care about. A characters life. If they know you done it before there will always be a question if something terrible might happen in the battle that their reading and it adds drama and it adds that hook which makes it impossible to tear them away from the story. Optional usage of this feature include the death of a character, the mutilation of one, the crippling of one, the beginning of corruption for someone, a tough decision between doing the right thing or doing the wrong thing to save more lives, something similar, or a combination of any of the above. Just make sure you don't overdo it and make every battle a battle that mutilates someone. You need some light in the darkness and all that jazz. Plus you might end up driving people away with all the grim parts, so make sure to use this feature sparingly and carefully.
That's all that I can think of at the moment. Congratulations you just got the longest review I've ever typed in all my years of reading fanfiction and never working up enough willpower to stop being lazy and actually start working on writing my own story. Please update soon and dont leave this story floating in the wind.
P.S. I know only most of the lore from Blue Steel and none from Strike Witches and Im pretty sure there are other just like me from both fandoms so it might be a good idea to post commonly known lore about both in the author notes so that people know what their reading about. Just a thought.
I actually had a dream about this story. I had just read the first part where you had the 20 or so things that needed to be know and then I went to bed and had a dream about flying girls and fog ships. Looks good for a first chapter and I hope you update sometime soon. I was reading some of the reviews and I saw that some people think the fog are overpowered and honestly that really isn't a problem with me if you still give them challenges. If something is fighting something else and one is overpowered, challenge that fight with something unfair. For example, make the other more tactical, or give them overwhelming numbers, or put a traitor in somewhere, or the other cheats in someway, or cut the other off from all forms of friendly contact. Something like that and it doesn't even have to be that big of a thing. You could give the overpowered fight a muscle twitch at just the wrong time or have them miss their game ending shot and have little power left over or something like that. Keep it interesting.
Also, remember to tell it from the personal level of the people fighting or overseeing the fight. I've seen it happen before. Someone sets up a great story like this in epic proportions and then tells it like it was from a history book. They tell everything that happens in the strategic plane with all the strategies that are used but leave out all the fighters personal problems. Their is no emotions, drama, and sometimes even no action. It has no epic fights in great detail. Just epic fights summarized for the readers convenience. Its boring. I don't want to see that happen to this story.
This last suggestion is just that, a suggestion. Have something bad, or many things bad happen to the good guys. It adds suspense afterwords because there actually is something on the line that the readers care about. A characters life. If they know you done it before there will always be a question if something terrible might happen in the battle that their reading and it adds drama and it adds that hook which makes it impossible to tear them away from the story. Optional usage of this feature include the death of a character, the mutilation of one, the crippling of one, the beginning of corruption for someone, a tough decision between doing the right thing or doing the wrong thing to save more lives, something similar, or a combination of any of the above. Just make sure you don't overdo it and make every battle a battle that mutilates someone. You need some light in the darkness and all that jazz. Plus you might end up driving people away with all the grim parts, so make sure to use this feature sparingly and carefully.
That's all that I can think of at the moment. Congratulations you just got the longest review I've ever typed in all my years of reading fanfiction and never working up enough willpower to stop being lazy and actually start working on writing my own story. Please update soon and dont leave this story floating in the wind.
P.S. I know only most of the lore from Blue Steel and none from Strike Witches and Im pretty sure there are other just like me from both fandoms so it might be a good idea to post commonly known lore about both in the author notes so that people know what their reading about. Just a thought.
8/13/2014 c1 Mr. Blue
Great! I expect the next one!
Great! I expect the next one!
8/12/2014 c1 Mr. Blue
Good story... I expect the next chapter soon
Good story... I expect the next chapter soon
7/23/2014 c1 Booster
This prologue is very good! I expect that continue it!
This prologue is very good! I expect that continue it!
7/22/2014 c1 Admiral X
Very Good; I expect the next chapter!
Very Good; I expect the next chapter!
7/22/2014 c1 Admiral X
Very Interesting... I expect the next chapter soon.
Very Interesting... I expect the next chapter soon.
4/29/2014 c1 
9BbK2442
This is an awesome prologue. Very long, and very detailed. But right now, it seems like the Fog ships are really overpowered compared to the Neuroi. The Neuroi do not seem the least to be equal adversaries. I really hope you concentrate on character development or make the Neuroi more powerful because if the Neuroi remain the same, this war will be over very shortly.
Other than that, please update soon.
9BbK2442This is an awesome prologue. Very long, and very detailed. But right now, it seems like the Fog ships are really overpowered compared to the Neuroi. The Neuroi do not seem the least to be equal adversaries. I really hope you concentrate on character development or make the Neuroi more powerful because if the Neuroi remain the same, this war will be over very shortly.
Other than that, please update soon.