
1/30/2014 c3
6Ageofmyths
First off, I'd like to thank you for writing this.
When I read the first chapter, I thought, "I can see this going somewhere."
The second chapter consolidated that view and I'm definitely glad you're writing this.
The characters seem to appear tame, if not overly so, but that is completely understandable given the setting you've chosen.
I personally agree with your portrayal of Cortana - to the extent that I believe that even as a human, Cortana would be a bit mischievous, slightly like a child, but in other ways more mature than most adults. I think you're on your way to being able to grasp that persona in your writing, and that is the one reason why I'll definitely be looking for some follow-up on this.
John seems to be written in the 'proper', withdrawn fashion, and while I agree, I do believe that certain parts of it come as off-putting - not due to the character type - but more due to the ambiguity of the situation, where it's possible to write it as distant, but not uncaring, either.
Of course, this is my personal feel of the fic - whether to adjust accordingly is up to you.
Cheers, and do keep writing.

First off, I'd like to thank you for writing this.
When I read the first chapter, I thought, "I can see this going somewhere."
The second chapter consolidated that view and I'm definitely glad you're writing this.
The characters seem to appear tame, if not overly so, but that is completely understandable given the setting you've chosen.
I personally agree with your portrayal of Cortana - to the extent that I believe that even as a human, Cortana would be a bit mischievous, slightly like a child, but in other ways more mature than most adults. I think you're on your way to being able to grasp that persona in your writing, and that is the one reason why I'll definitely be looking for some follow-up on this.
John seems to be written in the 'proper', withdrawn fashion, and while I agree, I do believe that certain parts of it come as off-putting - not due to the character type - but more due to the ambiguity of the situation, where it's possible to write it as distant, but not uncaring, either.
Of course, this is my personal feel of the fic - whether to adjust accordingly is up to you.
Cheers, and do keep writing.