for DreamWorks Dragons: Defenders of Berk: When in Berk1/10/2016 c1 Guest
you should make a sequel
you should make a sequel
1/26/2015 c2 
5joestej
Well, you've been so good about reviewing Shepard of the Stars for me, I thought I'd wander over and return the favor!
New cultures into the Dragons universe excellent! It gives a very Temeraire-esc feel to it. Love the idea.
I would advise against the constant exclamation points though. It is good for making a goofy/excited atmosphere, but after a bit it seems like your story is being narrated by a twelve-year-old on a sugar rush.
As the footnotes show, you've obviously done your homework. You might want to ease back on those, especially for things like which episode you're referencing, etc. Leave them as hidden treasures for your readers to discover. If they love the show like you do, they'll remember.
You've obviously done some homework, and Dragons is an inherently humorous universe, so I'll leave off dinging you for any historical problems with the premise(Vikings didn't start appearing until 400 years after the collapse of Rome).
Apart from that, well done!
5joestejWell, you've been so good about reviewing Shepard of the Stars for me, I thought I'd wander over and return the favor!
New cultures into the Dragons universe excellent! It gives a very Temeraire-esc feel to it. Love the idea.
I would advise against the constant exclamation points though. It is good for making a goofy/excited atmosphere, but after a bit it seems like your story is being narrated by a twelve-year-old on a sugar rush.
As the footnotes show, you've obviously done your homework. You might want to ease back on those, especially for things like which episode you're referencing, etc. Leave them as hidden treasures for your readers to discover. If they love the show like you do, they'll remember.
You've obviously done some homework, and Dragons is an inherently humorous universe, so I'll leave off dinging you for any historical problems with the premise(Vikings didn't start appearing until 400 years after the collapse of Rome).
Apart from that, well done!
5/9/2014 c10 39mon-ra
Nice epilogue, good cliffhanger. The talk between Hiccup and Stoick was heartfelt. That's a pretty big gambit Ameilianus is planing. Sure if it works it can turn the other Vikings against Berk, but it can also unite them against the Romans. Oh and I love what you did with the cat. Looking forward to your next stories.
39mon-raNice epilogue, good cliffhanger. The talk between Hiccup and Stoick was heartfelt. That's a pretty big gambit Ameilianus is planing. Sure if it works it can turn the other Vikings against Berk, but it can also unite them against the Romans. Oh and I love what you did with the cat. Looking forward to your next stories.
5/8/2014 c10 15Data Seeker
Hi
This is a great epilog. The quality is good like in the pervious chapters.
The beginning with Hiccup and his father discussing things was very dynamic. It was great how Stoick is aware that he and his son don't always agree, but he cherishes the few times they get along.
It was great how Hiccup is second guessing his act of mercy towards his enemy, recalling how sparing Toothless was a great thing, but sparing other backfired.
It was great how Stoick thought it carefully and then told Hiccup that he did the great thing and why.
The ending bit with Ameilianus is irked that things have gone horribly wrong in his plan- even though he is far from defeated- and is contemplating what to do.
This is what I think of the wholesome standards. I don't approve of the H word (though its not as bad as the other words in other chapters). But other then that, I have no complaint and the moral discussion was brilliant too.
I see a lot of potential in you. Pity that you think vulgarity is essential in creativity. Well Good bye and God bless.
Data Seeker
15Data SeekerHi
This is a great epilog. The quality is good like in the pervious chapters.
The beginning with Hiccup and his father discussing things was very dynamic. It was great how Stoick is aware that he and his son don't always agree, but he cherishes the few times they get along.
It was great how Hiccup is second guessing his act of mercy towards his enemy, recalling how sparing Toothless was a great thing, but sparing other backfired.
It was great how Stoick thought it carefully and then told Hiccup that he did the great thing and why.
The ending bit with Ameilianus is irked that things have gone horribly wrong in his plan- even though he is far from defeated- and is contemplating what to do.
This is what I think of the wholesome standards. I don't approve of the H word (though its not as bad as the other words in other chapters). But other then that, I have no complaint and the moral discussion was brilliant too.
I see a lot of potential in you. Pity that you think vulgarity is essential in creativity. Well Good bye and God bless.
Data Seeker
5/6/2014 c10 Brenne
Oh dear! I can't wait to see what Ameilianus does next! What will Hiccup do? Looking forward to more!
Oh dear! I can't wait to see what Ameilianus does next! What will Hiccup do? Looking forward to more!
4/29/2014 c9 Data Seeker
Hi
Great fic. Too bad you did certain...stuff. I'll explain shortly.
The beginning with Snoutlod was great, and all chaos broke loss.
The following battle scenes are excellent, my favorite being Astrid against Marlene. It reminds me of a Kim vs. Shego.
The confrontation between Hiccup and Ameilianus was very dynamic. The dialog, suspense and interaction evoked a lot of emotions. Nice cliffhanger where the bad guy escapes and things are far from over.
This is what I think of the whole standards. The violence is passable, but the language is totally unjustifiable. You didn't need it to make your chapter excellent.
The moral dilemma that Hiccup faced during his confrontation was excellent. Valid question that we all faced.
Well that's my review. God bless
Data Seeker
Hi
Great fic. Too bad you did certain...stuff. I'll explain shortly.
The beginning with Snoutlod was great, and all chaos broke loss.
The following battle scenes are excellent, my favorite being Astrid against Marlene. It reminds me of a Kim vs. Shego.
The confrontation between Hiccup and Ameilianus was very dynamic. The dialog, suspense and interaction evoked a lot of emotions. Nice cliffhanger where the bad guy escapes and things are far from over.
This is what I think of the whole standards. The violence is passable, but the language is totally unjustifiable. You didn't need it to make your chapter excellent.
The moral dilemma that Hiccup faced during his confrontation was excellent. Valid question that we all faced.
Well that's my review. God bless
Data Seeker
4/29/2014 c9 39mon-ra
I must say that was a very good climax. Putting Hiccup in a position where he have to choose between the lesser of two evils. Nice touch putting the parallel of this situation and his first encounter with Toothless.
39mon-raI must say that was a very good climax. Putting Hiccup in a position where he have to choose between the lesser of two evils. Nice touch putting the parallel of this situation and his first encounter with Toothless.
4/13/2014 c8 15Data Seeker
Hi
Nice update. The quality is good. There are a few typos, but still good.
The beginning with Berk preparing for battle, while Snoutlod is missing, and so are several terrible terrors. Now it's war.
The fight against Dagar the Derange was well written and flowed well.
The brief confrontation between Dagar and Hiccup was excellent.
Ameilianus suddenly revealing his treachery was a dynamic plot twist, he had manipulated the Berserkers, he uses a vital organ in dragons to create Greek Fire, and he can destroy Berk with ease if they don't surrender.
During the monolog, it's dynamic how Ameilanus has some respect for Hiccup, namely that he uses his intelligence while others don't. It's dynamic how he offers Hiccup to join him but Hiccup doesn't think smarts or self-righteous superiority makes one worthy of lordship.
Nice cliffhanger.
This is what I think of the wholesome standards.
The language is clean except for one sentence. Please change it. This is a request, not an order.
But other then that, I have no other complaint.
I hope this review brightens your day. God bless.
Data Seeker
P.S. curious, will Marlene appear again?
15Data SeekerHi
Nice update. The quality is good. There are a few typos, but still good.
The beginning with Berk preparing for battle, while Snoutlod is missing, and so are several terrible terrors. Now it's war.
The fight against Dagar the Derange was well written and flowed well.
The brief confrontation between Dagar and Hiccup was excellent.
Ameilianus suddenly revealing his treachery was a dynamic plot twist, he had manipulated the Berserkers, he uses a vital organ in dragons to create Greek Fire, and he can destroy Berk with ease if they don't surrender.
During the monolog, it's dynamic how Ameilanus has some respect for Hiccup, namely that he uses his intelligence while others don't. It's dynamic how he offers Hiccup to join him but Hiccup doesn't think smarts or self-righteous superiority makes one worthy of lordship.
Nice cliffhanger.
This is what I think of the wholesome standards.
The language is clean except for one sentence. Please change it. This is a request, not an order.
But other then that, I have no other complaint.
I hope this review brightens your day. God bless.
Data Seeker
P.S. curious, will Marlene appear again?
4/12/2014 c8 39mon-ra
Love all the backstabbing. I especially liked how the twins show that the are smarter than most people give them credit for.
39mon-raLove all the backstabbing. I especially liked how the twins show that the are smarter than most people give them credit for.
3/30/2014 c7 15Data Seeker
Hi
Nice little update. The quality is good in many areas, but there are some typos. But at least it’s understandable.
The attack by the Whispering Death was a action moment.
The plot thickens. Ameilianus is still on top and his plan for power intense.
The ending part where he is speaking with his real ally, His talk with his partner Alvin was amusing, especially when Ameilianus reveals his contempt for people (like Dagur and Snoutlout) who are anti-intelligence. I found that aspect of his character entertaining.
The wholesome standards are high. Nothing is offensive.
I hope this review brightens your day. God bless.
Data Seeker
15Data SeekerHi
Nice little update. The quality is good in many areas, but there are some typos. But at least it’s understandable.
The attack by the Whispering Death was a action moment.
The plot thickens. Ameilianus is still on top and his plan for power intense.
The ending part where he is speaking with his real ally, His talk with his partner Alvin was amusing, especially when Ameilianus reveals his contempt for people (like Dagur and Snoutlout) who are anti-intelligence. I found that aspect of his character entertaining.
The wholesome standards are high. Nothing is offensive.
I hope this review brightens your day. God bless.
Data Seeker
3/27/2014 c7 39mon-ra
You know this reminds me of a G1 Transformer episode where they travel back to Medieval times and Merlin mixed up some gun powder but he called it Dragon's Bane. Used it to scare off a dragon as well.
39mon-raYou know this reminds me of a G1 Transformer episode where they travel back to Medieval times and Merlin mixed up some gun powder but he called it Dragon's Bane. Used it to scare off a dragon as well.
3/27/2014 c7 Brenne
Oh boy. Ameilianus and Alvin working together! I should have known! I hope Hiccup finds out soon, especially since all those poor terrible terrors are being killed off by that stupid cat! Looking forward to more!
Oh boy. Ameilianus and Alvin working together! I should have known! I hope Hiccup finds out soon, especially since all those poor terrible terrors are being killed off by that stupid cat! Looking forward to more!
3/22/2014 c6 15Data Seeker
Hi
The quality is good in many areas. There are a few typos, but at least it's readable.
The beginning with the harmony between the Vikings and the Romans is amusing. There is clearly something wrong but the good guys have no way of knowing.
The incident with your new Cast (Mordecia and Rigby) was amusing and suspense.
The following scenes are well-written and unfold nicely, with Snoutlod’s prejudice, Hiccup trying to keep peace and Fishlegs realizing the terrors are missing.
The ending is suspenseful. Ameilianus has what he wants and his plan is unfolding. I wonder what will happen.
The wholesome standards are high. Nothing is offensive.
I hope this review brightens your day. God bless.
Data Seeker
15Data SeekerHi
The quality is good in many areas. There are a few typos, but at least it's readable.
The beginning with the harmony between the Vikings and the Romans is amusing. There is clearly something wrong but the good guys have no way of knowing.
The incident with your new Cast (Mordecia and Rigby) was amusing and suspense.
The following scenes are well-written and unfold nicely, with Snoutlod’s prejudice, Hiccup trying to keep peace and Fishlegs realizing the terrors are missing.
The ending is suspenseful. Ameilianus has what he wants and his plan is unfolding. I wonder what will happen.
The wholesome standards are high. Nothing is offensive.
I hope this review brightens your day. God bless.
Data Seeker