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for Zero no Tsukaima: Saito the Onmyoji

10/12 c27 1MasterXMaster
Thank you for the new chapter. So you are using the continuity of the anime series, with the eclypse thing, did you read the light novel by chance?
10/12 c10 Takedo
I'm not sure if Saito here is very humble... What he does is subtle humble-bragging.

"Our punishment is worse than yours."

"Our magic is better than yours."

Does all this ton of work. "This is the basic shit."

He's only complimented Halkeginian magic once, and all other times are commenting on how shit it is. While true, it's not really humble.
10/11 c9 Takedo
When you do that comma on the end of a sentence thing, you use it on the first sentence, like this:

"Sentence one," character mused. "Sentence two."

What you're doing is:

"Sentence one." Character mused, "Sentence two."
10/11 c1 Takedo
Actually liking it so far. My only gripe is the arigato in the beginning. You don't need that, just say thank you in English. the other stuff is fine though.
9/26 c27 2Jack Inqu
Quite the number of developments in this chapter. Poor Louise; I really do feel sorry for her, but I also understand Saito's desire to return home. I'm not sure how things will work out.

Take care, good luck, stay safe, stay healthy, and I look forward to your next update.
9/23 c27 DJTimmer
I should have seen this coming, but completely overlooked that fact. In the series, she just fired him to help get over the fact he was leaving. But now, I'm honestly worried what she'll do just to keep him from leaving. If Louse takes steps to keep the plane from flying, I can't begin to imagine how Saito will react. One thought is she'll just bed him just to give him more reason to stay, but not even she's that bold. Or will Louse simply play on Saito's humanity and try to convince him how much he's needed in that world? Can't wait to see what happens next. Stay safe and healthy.
9/21 c27 Fin
Hey when are you going. To update the ashikabi if thunder and lightning?! Your schedule don't say!. I hope your not giving up on it.
9/21 c27 TOWTWUKER
Just a thought. Can't the familiars send messages thru they're world? If so, send a coded message thru to saito to stay... Maybe even send stuff they the eclipse? Just a thought.
9/20 c27 Guest Q
Wonderful chapter as always, though I'm starting to get worried about Saito's reluctance to bond with the people here. I mean I understand what he's worried about, but given eclipses are rare & there's other mages from Earth around I think he's beginning to develop a tunnel vision of sorts.

Though I wonder how he'd react once he gets around to looking up what Void spells were known to be cast by Brimir & finds out about the Gate spell? XD

Plus I'm afraid by the time he gets back he might be considered "compromised" by the Black Star (thats what they're called right?), which will probably be a shock to him since he doesn't even seem to be considering the possibility nor if they might send him back as an envoy. And wouldn't him trying to leave for home permanently technically be a violation of his Familiar AND his teacher contract with Louise, thus setting off 'bad; things to either/both of them?

See ya at the next chap! :)
9/18 c27 AmberSlime
This has been quite the interesting read so far. While I don't feel like I can exactly comment on things like characterization and accuracy to the source material (Becuase I haven't read Familiar of Zero), I find this story/fanfic captivating regardless. Grammer is on point, I haven't noticed any grevious spelling errors, it's some pretty good stuff. It's also easier to follow the chain of events in the story than Issei: The Gaming Gear is, but I can't exactly pin down why that might be. It might be because keeping track of Saito's magic is easier for me than keeping track of all of Issei's stats and skills is.

I can't help but feel a little nervous over Louise and the actions she might take regarding Saito wanting to leave. While I doubt she'll reach the level of Montromancy deciding that "Yes, clearly the best solution to my boyfriend troubles is to make him ingest a mind-altering potion against his will", I worry that she'll do something pretty stupid.
9/17 c27 doctor3027
Where's Derflinger? I think I might have to reread this.
9/17 c27 WindbornesWord
Good chapter, not nearly long enough but good nonetheless. I’m curious why Tabitha hasn’t asked for Saito’s help yet.
9/17 c27 1wildtrance
... cackling
Please keep the plane intact and with ammunition! The destruction!
9/17 c27 W8W
Great chapter.
Oni familiar development was very pleasant and interesting to read.
Saito now have way to return. It is very interesting because situation is rather different from canon. Not only he have obligations on other side his disappearance could ignite war so he have much bigger drive to return. I can't wait to see how it will unfold.
9/17 c27 1Fyr RedNight
Great work with this chapter!
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