
4/24/2014 c4 shimasclan
i'm impressed with this story so far, keep it going, you two are doing great.
i'm impressed with this story so far, keep it going, you two are doing great.
4/24/2014 c4
1Tantei1412
Nice story so far.
Though I think Leafa is in character, I think Kirito letting them go to an unknown situation so easily is a bit OOC. Though I guess it can be written off as early-death-game stress or something. Just pointing it out though. Please continue.
-Tantei1412

Nice story so far.
Though I think Leafa is in character, I think Kirito letting them go to an unknown situation so easily is a bit OOC. Though I guess it can be written off as early-death-game stress or something. Just pointing it out though. Please continue.
-Tantei1412
4/17/2014 c4 Guest
A pretty good start to a story, here. Certainly something nice to read until Hollow Fragment comes out. I look forward to future entries.
A pretty good start to a story, here. Certainly something nice to read until Hollow Fragment comes out. I look forward to future entries.
4/16/2014 c4
89Jlargent
I actually want a Asuna/Suguha pairing, I mean we need a yuri pairing in this section.

I actually want a Asuna/Suguha pairing, I mean we need a yuri pairing in this section.
4/15/2014 c4
2Dimitriye98
So wait, if Silica's parents didn't know she's playing SAO, how come didn't they pull off her NerveGear killing her? It's not like the thing gives any indication of what game you're playing. Other than that, pretty nice.

So wait, if Silica's parents didn't know she's playing SAO, how come didn't they pull off her NerveGear killing her? It's not like the thing gives any indication of what game you're playing. Other than that, pretty nice.
4/13/2014 c4
1Worker72
I hope The Dungeon's Treasure pays off better then the other quest does. We get to see all the girls who will have crushes on Kirito in this chapter and even Coper shows up for a silent cameo. At least he isn't on the same quest this time. He will probably have to face the quest honestly this time. It's nice to see siblings argue throughout the chapter it really brought the characters to life. Looking forward to the Boss fight chapter when it comes up.

I hope The Dungeon's Treasure pays off better then the other quest does. We get to see all the girls who will have crushes on Kirito in this chapter and even Coper shows up for a silent cameo. At least he isn't on the same quest this time. He will probably have to face the quest honestly this time. It's nice to see siblings argue throughout the chapter it really brought the characters to life. Looking forward to the Boss fight chapter when it comes up.
4/13/2014 c4 Chronostorm
If you want to check out the progressive version of the story you can always check the manga since they took down all the Light novel ones since they are officially publishing it in English soon. other then that good job looking forward to more development withe the characters as well.
If you want to check out the progressive version of the story you can always check the manga since they took down all the Light novel ones since they are officially publishing it in English soon. other then that good job looking forward to more development withe the characters as well.
3/30/2014 c3
2Dimitriye98
Great premise, great execution. Faved and followed. Keep up the good work, please don't be one of those people who start a great story and abandon it. :P

Great premise, great execution. Faved and followed. Keep up the good work, please don't be one of those people who start a great story and abandon it. :P
3/29/2014 c3 Vinnie
From what I've seen the biggest problem during this time isn't limited monsters but limited spawning rates. With 10K people trapped in a game and none able to log off for the real world that is crowding things a little bit for the monster spawning rate. The smart players really have no choice but to leave the town of beginnings. In any game you wont have everyone logged on and concentrated in a single location at the same time.
From what I've seen the biggest problem during this time isn't limited monsters but limited spawning rates. With 10K people trapped in a game and none able to log off for the real world that is crowding things a little bit for the monster spawning rate. The smart players really have no choice but to leave the town of beginnings. In any game you wont have everyone logged on and concentrated in a single location at the same time.
3/29/2014 c3 Worker72
I always wondered about how Silica tamed Pina. Was Pina already an adult when tamed or did Silica find Pina as an egg and imprint on her at the hatching?
I always wondered about how Silica tamed Pina. Was Pina already an adult when tamed or did Silica find Pina as an egg and imprint on her at the hatching?
3/25/2014 c3 shimasclan
So far i'd say it was pretty good. you've done well keeping the character true to their natures, with only minor changes in personality that is to be expected in a fanfiction (i mean, no one can emulate a character as well as the original author anyways). i'm enjoying the pacing of the story too, not too little per chapter, but not over flooding with details either (so happy to find a quality story with more then a single screen-length page per chapter) I'm currious to see how meeting Silica earlier on will change the over all character dynamics of the story, cause now she get's to watch him become a bad ass (if he allows a noob or two to follow him, that is) in stead of him just showing up that way. i'm actually REALLY psyched for the next chapter, so i hope you guys find the needed quality time to make an awesome one. Will your spacing be as sporadic as the anime, or are you gonna be trying to do a quality story-line. Will Kirito fall for any of the girls early on, or be his usual secluded self. How will this meeting effect the end-game characters as the story progresses... i have so many questions for this story all ready, which is a GREAT sign of your guys' writing ability. :)
So far i'd say it was pretty good. you've done well keeping the character true to their natures, with only minor changes in personality that is to be expected in a fanfiction (i mean, no one can emulate a character as well as the original author anyways). i'm enjoying the pacing of the story too, not too little per chapter, but not over flooding with details either (so happy to find a quality story with more then a single screen-length page per chapter) I'm currious to see how meeting Silica earlier on will change the over all character dynamics of the story, cause now she get's to watch him become a bad ass (if he allows a noob or two to follow him, that is) in stead of him just showing up that way. i'm actually REALLY psyched for the next chapter, so i hope you guys find the needed quality time to make an awesome one. Will your spacing be as sporadic as the anime, or are you gonna be trying to do a quality story-line. Will Kirito fall for any of the girls early on, or be his usual secluded self. How will this meeting effect the end-game characters as the story progresses... i have so many questions for this story all ready, which is a GREAT sign of your guys' writing ability. :)
3/24/2014 c1
2ragef33
Hmmm, I have a few qualms with some of the interactions being out-of-character. While they were amusing, that was all. You accounted that Suguha and Kazuto weren't that close at this point in time, the interactions still seemed out of place. The first thing I noticed was Kazuto calling her Sugu. In the "First Day" side story (I assume you've read the LN, given how much attention you give Argo) He mentioned "If— If I live on and return, I'll face her directly and call her «Sugu» once more," which implies he hadn't called her Sugu in a long time.
Additionally, he regularly avoided Suguha at home, which would mean he wouldn't bother asking about what was in her package, and she wouldn't need an excuse. But I guess it would be boring, if the two didn't try to interact at all...
And seeing as I brought up Argo... It's implied Kirito didn't know Argo in the beta-test.
But I guess some alterations to canon are acceptable for a fanfic, so it's fine I guess.

Hmmm, I have a few qualms with some of the interactions being out-of-character. While they were amusing, that was all. You accounted that Suguha and Kazuto weren't that close at this point in time, the interactions still seemed out of place. The first thing I noticed was Kazuto calling her Sugu. In the "First Day" side story (I assume you've read the LN, given how much attention you give Argo) He mentioned "If— If I live on and return, I'll face her directly and call her «Sugu» once more," which implies he hadn't called her Sugu in a long time.
Additionally, he regularly avoided Suguha at home, which would mean he wouldn't bother asking about what was in her package, and she wouldn't need an excuse. But I guess it would be boring, if the two didn't try to interact at all...
And seeing as I brought up Argo... It's implied Kirito didn't know Argo in the beta-test.
But I guess some alterations to canon are acceptable for a fanfic, so it's fine I guess.