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for In the Shadow of a Reaper

6/22/2014 c5 21edboy4926
Good chapter
Hope Kasumi makes it.
5/31/2014 c3 6Aeternix
"'Their technology is like the apple. One use and it will control you.'"

I love this line! It really utilizes biblical symbolism well to convey an interesting idea. I like how there are people who are frightened by the Normandy's advanced weapons. It's a cool way to show how the integration of the two universes will not be a seamless one and, indeed, it may not be a beneficial one at the end of the day. Especially if his line about how "'[...] the longer you stay, the tighter our worlds become." Interesting ideas indeed!

I also like how Shepard and Garrus reunited. It was a nice moment and I enjoyed the fact that they had a moment together even though the situation is dire. I kind of feel that it's probably a bit too soon for them to having a moment together, however it's still appreciated by a romantic like me. It was a well written scene.

I also liked how you referenced the quarians back on Earth. But placing that scene at the end of the chapter, it creates a newfound urgency in the piece. There are worries back in the ME universe and the reminder that many are dying only serves to reinforce the need for Shepard and the gang to get back to their universe.

Everything was solid punctuation and spelling wise. Really this was a great chapter that connected the worlds even further whole establishing the enemies who are at play and will cause trouble in the future. You are pacing the story nicely so far, not spending too much time or too little time in one place. It is an intriguing story and I wish I knew Babylon 5 more so I could understand a bit more. Maybe after I watch the series I'll come back and review the rest. Overall it's an interesting take you are weaving and I really like how there are parallels between the two intellectual properties. It takes a good eye to notice these technological or ideological similarities and I think you have that talent.
5/29/2014 c2 Aeternix
"'By the earth calendar, it's currently the year 2186.'
"'On my calendar, it's 2260.'
"They both fell silent. 'We're going to have a lot of stuff to pick up,' Garrus muttered."

Another solid chapter in this story. I like how the enemies of the two series, the 'Shadows' and the 'Reapers' play into the title of the piece. It was only now that I realized it and I find that very clever indeed. On its own I thought it was a nifty title, but now I'm really loving it from a new perspective.

I also really enjoyed the clever dialog exchanges at the beginning of the chapter. It felt natural with good movement and purpose to each line. Sometimes in crossovers the characters reacting to one another can feel force or contrived. Here the two universes slid so effortlessly together it's mind-boggling. Indeed, the ending with Zathras was also extremely well done. Your descriptions wonderfully creating the scene while the promise of a new enemy, or perhaps ally, arrived into play: Harbinger.

The only problems I had with the chapters were how quickly Liara and the gang jumped to the conclusion they were in a different universe. I'd assume they'd first think they were in the future before they would assume that and it felt a tiny bit like a logic jump. A nitpick for sure, but still something that bothered me slightly.

As well, I found that not too much happened in the chapter. This I understand as it is basically set up for later as it introduces the two enemies and we are waiting till they reach the station, Babylon 5. Still I couldn't help but feel like I wanted more.

A good connective tissue chapter that I look forward to seeing more from. I'll be reading the next chapter with interest to see how it all goes.
5/28/2014 c1 Aeternix
"'Zathras will have to give Zathras a serious talking-to about this,' Zathras said."

Interesting, I'm always curious about these crossovers, I find them really difficult to do myself and I admire it when someone can pull of a good crossover effortlessly. There are a lot of interesting places this could go and, though I don't know much about Babylon 5, the two universes seem like they could fit very nicely together. The characters all seemed fully formed and interesting and the descriptions for everything that is going on is crisp and clear.

The problem I have is with two things. One, how quickly Zathras just 'hacked' the Crucible and stole Shepard. I'm guessing this will be explained in more detail later and since I don't know Zathras that well I'm assuming she's got powers of some sort, but the speed at which it happened was startling. I kind of wished it was explained at bit more.

Second, I don't know how the two races are communicating in person. It makes sense that they had to use morse code - a clever idea since their technology isn't the same - but for all intensive purposes they shouldn't be able to understand each other. Firstly, not every person in Mass Effect knows English, in fact, in the codex it says that language differentiation still exists all throughout the Galaxy, with numerous races have an equally large amount of differentiation in their language. What makes this possible is the translator in ah omni tool, one that translates heard speech into something they understand. I don't believe it actively translates what the person is speaking, only what is heard. Now, I'm not sure if the Earthforce have a similar device, but even if they did, they haven't come across this new species and as such they couldn't have translated the language in time for it to be functional. Unless they have a babblefish in their ear :P

One other small thing I noticed was this line: "Damnit, we don't know [...]" I think it's spelt "Dammit".

Overall, this is an interesting story that seems to make sense with the two universes. Though there are some critiques I have towards how they are communicating, so far everything is intriguing and interesting. I look forward to reading more.
4/17/2014 c1 15Vergil1989 the Crossover King
Yep, I'm sold on the epicness of this story already Ninja lol. As far as I've seen, your characterization us spot on for everyone thus far, and while it's been a while since I've seen the early episodes, reading this brought it all back. I say keep up the excellent work, although while I understand that things were a bit hectic this chapter, I would recommend slowing down and elaborating a bit more. Otherwise, I'd say everything came out quite well.
4/8/2014 c4 5Amidamaru88
a small tense moment, a fuck up for their own plans with Kosh, nice keeps things interesting well played
- why would the leviathans train the shadows? the vorlons would have to know about them as well as some of the other older races, likewise why would they jump universes why not conquer both? they could leave a part of their forces in one univers while traveling to the other with the rest, leaving the shadows behind to act as their agents doesn't make that much sense, the shadows with time could grow strong and beat the reapers down, still it is speculation. Sidenote have you considered having the Third Space aliens duke it out with the reapers? or making them a more agressive form of the reapers or Leviathans, maybe a small civil war forced to two sides apart one wanted to enslave the other wanted to exterminate.
- wow plot twist with the geth damn... good job I only read one fic where humans could make bodies and a geth ambasador got one but never where a large part of them became organic
- curious as to how the geth adapted to needing to eat and sleep, hell wait until they have to reproduce and a few die, can quarians and geth have hibrid children?
4/8/2014 c3 Amidamaru88
- from time to time the section break fairys come and take them away or the section brake gnomes steal them, there's a bloody war going on between the two side from the precious resource known as the section brake line and is their battleground
- wait did the relays blow up?
- understandable explanation for the food, Liara could begin to rebuild her information network in the new universe, heck with hacking it would be even easier
- oh Allers
- so the vorlons threw a monkey wrench into their own plans, ok
4/8/2014 c2 Amidamaru88
- true some of the tech of ME looks more advanced but that's becouse they had a bigger budget, the B5 has it's tech even if it looks less shiny
- freaking finaly mentions the problems that may arrise from a medical point of view
- loved the rusian bit
- the dialogue and chapter lenght are as good as always
- nice job mentioning the battle fatigue they must be feeling
- huh that's and interesting ending, while I liked the option, the question of how will the husks ever live a normal life in anyway shape or form is one that may piss people off

The Ten Commandments of Reviewing - created by FictionReader98 and Zoneshifter D

1) Thou shalt point out the parts you enjoy
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if you have time and one of my stories catche's your interest I would ask you give it the same treatment
4/8/2014 c1 Amidamaru88
- wow, great start
- good chapter lenght
- good dialogue
- wild card ? yes she is, but aren't all of the people and races in the ME doomed to slaughter? all to save another universe?
- Garrus and Tali may end up starving to death, sractch that they are the last of their kind now, alongside Liara
- interesting with the tech, have you done a lot of research into it? I know the human ships are a tad crap, some still don't have artificial gravity, but the Normandy tech is relient on Ezeo and if they don't have in the Babylon 5 universe ...
4/3/2014 c4 3skywiseskychan
Well... that was a thing.

Also now I'm confused on the timeline. I was originally thinking that it was at the end of season 1 but now it seems deep season 4. Of course that could be because I just rewatched just season 1 of B5. I should probably finish rewatching the rest of the series as well. It's just good fun that show.

As for dead not dead Kosh... well that's concerning. As is comparing indoctrination of the shadows to what the reapers do.
4/2/2014 c4 21edboy4926
Good chapter
4/1/2014 c4 aDarkOne
The energy wave screwed over a lot of people.


Even though the asari are my favorite space elves (other than Vulcans) I have to admit Shepherd has a point.
4/1/2014 c4 8nobodez
That's just hilariously wrong, what you did to the geth.
3/14/2014 c3 3skywiseskychan
Well I just watched the first season of B5, and there were fewer bad episodes than I remembered :) As for your story I like Kosh's attitude on Mass Effect Tech. "it's the apple" That is how the reapers have been controlling everyone for so long. Guiding their technological growth. But I think that Kosh is, in this case, wrong. Even if Ezo (or quantium 40 if you are going with gates and ezo are the same marterial.) is a dead end tech, the materials science behind armor capable of ignoring a PPG is still valueble and wouldn't lead down the same paths. If Ezo Q40 then it could be bad, but if Ezo Q40 then I think that the B5 universe is already far enough along that it would be a tech merger rather than replacement.

Not to mention it could be simply that Kosh is not telling the truth and is afraid of what Shepherd represents. The Vorlons always have been bastards.

As for zathras and the machine, I would say that they are making a mistake in assuming those as Vorlon agents. Old ones yes, but not Vorlon, and that means their goals can be quite separate.

I just realized another fun fact, most universes don't mesh well with Mass Effect because of the multiple cycles of intelegent life required, but B5 actually does have a background of previous rises of intelegence!
3/12/2014 c3 mwjen
Great story so far, thanks for posting.
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