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for I Hold Your Heart Or I Hold You Down

6/21/2020 c14 9SaucySarah
It’s been a while but I’ve just found this one and the prequel. I’d love another chapter here. I need context, I can’t see how they go from here to Tim and Julie getting married. It’s unresolved and puzzles me. Good Luck.
9/9/2019 c14 Nick
"Out back feeding Kit Kat."
I've been up since like 1. You can't blame me for first thinking it said "Out back eating a Kit Kat" and wondering why he would need to go in the back yard to eat a candy bar.

It intrigues me how protective Billy can be, yet hardly gave his brother a moment to breathe before swooping in on Jackie, I think her name was.
It's not even a bro code thing, just respect your brother who's hurting.
So they weren't quite an item, but it's still a really intensified version of the hurt that is having a crush on an older chick and your brother (or friend) moves in on her. Nothing was actually there, but it still feels like something that shouldn't be done.

"That was an inevitability once you broke up with me."
It was an inevitability before Riggins broke up with her. She's got a thing for guys she shouldn't have a thing for, and Jax has a thing for girls from the opposite side of the tracks. Some guys just like getting good girls a little dirty. (Sometimes it's fairly harmless. And sometimes they turn out to be guys who don't just like making a girl feel a little wild, sometimes they like putting them in over their head. Some people like walking that balance beam, but that's a dangerous game with the risk of falling on the wrong side.)
And Riggins is just someone - if you're not in it to win it, he figures...i think he thinks things should be obvious. He's put a lot into her. He went to Paris for her. From his side, where he stands is clear. If she has to stop or pause to figure things out while he's committed, then it's an uneven equation and won't work for as long as it's uneven.

One thing about real life this makes me think of - both guys and girls have a tendency to have a good thing, blow it, and then think they'll just get taken back by the person they dumped.
And now I remember she actually did this with Saracen, tried to just slide back in.
That's not cool. Ok, so you realize you made a mistake, but how would she feel if she were the one thrown over and then when it blew up on him, dude just tried to slip back with her like nothing happened?

I feel really bad for both Riggins and Jax here. I mean, it's mostly over Jules, but I think probably also because Jax isn't the same person he was in the last fic.
It's just kinda sad to see guys who were friends who just can't be friends anymore.
Though I do put it mostly on Jax. Going all the way back to the last fic - if he'd have left Julie alone, it's entirely possible he and Riggins could find a way to at least be riding buddies here, that he could explain to Riggins he's not the bad guy, things just are the way they are.
Instead, a good - at least bromance, if not "all for one, one for all" level friendship, is dashed, in no small part over a woman.
I just feel bad for them. Because sometimes the thing you really need is a riding buddy.

"...there's more purity in her helper's heart than there ever was in Tara's..."
Tell us, dear writer, why it is you don't like Tara. Be specific, please - make your thesis statement and then defend it.

"And with that Tim loped off."
I feel like he is now a giraffe. At this moment in time, loping just strikes me as a giraffe movement.
1/22/2018 c13 69cmr2014
Hmm? The solution I never saw coming.


This has NEEDS SEQUEL written all over it.
On the other hand, the uncertainty of the future is often a good place to leave off, with one story ending and another beginning. Wrapping up every little thing isn't always the best way to go.

TV often has such wonderful crossover possibilities. Like, there was an episode - maybe the finale, I forget - that had Michael Chiklis as a truck driver, and with all their law enforcement encounters, I couldn't help but imagine a SOA/The Shield crossover where Vic Mackey's unit is the latest to tangle with SAMCRO.
I always wanted to see a Justified/Banshee crossover - Raylan Givens and Lucas Hood were MADE to cross paths.
It'd be interesting to see Jax not die at the end but just wander into a new life by crossing over into John Carpenter's Vampires and meeting Jack Crow. Jax Teller, vampire hunter.

Basically, I'm trying to say thanks for writing this.
1/22/2018 c12 cmr2014
Tough choices all around. None without cost.
1/22/2018 c11 cmr2014
"Can you just, this once, do what you're told?'
Jax gets a taste of what Coach felt like for 18 years.

Oh dear, this really feels now like an AU version of show's end. Things are coming to a head.
1/21/2018 c10 cmr2014
Riggins, when dealing with people who do it for a living, don't say things like, "He'll never see me." That's a guarantee amateurs can't keep and pros know better than to make.

"So figure out what you want and how you want it..."
Something we all need to do. Can't tread water forever, gotta pick a direction and swim. Toward some people, away from others. Life sucks, deal with it.

There is right and wrong. But degrees - in terms of who actions impact, it becomes righter and wronger. In my experience, no matter what course you choose, you're going to piss somebody off. Something might be right or it might be wrong, but that's mainly a guideline, the real question is, what can you live with?
1/21/2018 c9 cmr2014
I *think* it's Hardison, but it just doesn't sound like him to me. Sorry.

"Keeping the books is so damn boring..."
The IRS counts on that, I think. You not being familiar with it, or good at it. So it's harder to "cheat".

Not even Billy calls him Timmy anymore?
1/21/2018 c8 cmr2014
That was a hilarious movie!

OH! I know what I meant to say last chapter!
One-percenters can have stuff to be careful with, yes.
But journalists *have* ridden with them before.
Though it was probably before the big four were cemented, Hunter S. Thompson covered the angels. Don't forget that. (I dunno why he's so big, I personally think he's overrated. I saw this interview somebody did with him where he insisted the guy drink with him while they shot rifles. Uh, no dude. That's no measure of masculinity.)
I read a book one time, I forget dude's name - but it was really interesting, he wasn't a journalist, he was - I think a sociologist. He was trying to get at the makeup, who becomes a one-percenter and why, what unites a club, what makes a guy ride. There was a whole chapter devoted to why choose American over rice-burner. I think it's out of print now and I don't know what the hell I did with my copy, crap. But it was fascinating.

Most whorehouses don't look like whorehouses from the get-go. This ain't the wild west no more, I'm sad to say. It don't pay to advertise, get m'drift.

Lyla, hard-boiled? Legit shocked here.

I wonder if you ever truly change your stripes.
You realize this is what happened, right? Smart crooks have gotten into legit rackets. Way back when, look how the outfit moved into unions. Oh no, not every unions, but ol' Jimmy weren't friends with no saints, dig? And other guys had club rackets - look at Vegas, and Hot Springs before that. 'Tweren't quite what people think of as protection rackets, but it was known what happened if they didn't get their cut. Now you got other guys moved into these payday loan businesses, online gambling - legal business with predator consequences.
And of course the biggest crooks wear suits. There was a time you'd have to worry about me coming for your wallet; suits are after your 401K.
It really sucks - when you play by rules, the people who are going to win are the ones without any rules.

The end of this makes me think of the song -
"I'm sorry I hurt you
The leader of the pack"
1/21/2018 c7 cmr2014
I notice Clay's not around. IS this after he was killed off?
Also, given how you've woven three universes together - and given you put Tara with Elliot Spencer in one fic - is this a by-design multiverse from the start?

I get a kick out of the name Pixie. Mostly because my angel was a real-life one. 5-foot-nothing, 98 lbs., brown hair only a little lighter than mine, we both had hazel eyes but hers were magical, they changed color with her moods, I'm not lying. She liked classic rock but also old-school hardcore punk and called herself a punk princess, and I teased her so much about being a pixie that I started calling her a punk pixie instead. She got a kick out of that and adopted it as her very own. "I used to be a punk princess. Now I'm a punk pixie!"

I must have erased Tara's death from my memory. Damnit, I liked her with Jax. You have made me sad.

Little girl, what did you expect? You're torn between two guys and off in Seattle, was he supposed to drive all the way up there just to lay it all out in person?
Breakups suck, I know, but guess what? He's still alive. He wasn't taken from you by a goddamn drunk driver. Some of us would give anything to have lost our loved one to a breakup instead of that.

Some people, whatever else they feel, just have the kind of chemistry that always leads to sex. Sometimes sex is just separate from the other feelings.

"That's the difference between us."
Not just that Jax is a killer and Riggins ain't.
There's a hardness in Jax I don't pick up in Riggins.
That's why I'm sorry, I can't see them as friends.
I really shouldn't be reading this fic first. My bad.
1/21/2018 c6 cmr2014
Oh no, dude. Where you're caught between two, there's *always* pressure.

Now see, the best way out of trouble is to not be doing things that up the odds of getting in trouble.

Good thing she's trustworthy. Some people would just drunk-dial the number.
Hold the phone - Seattle, Alec, hacker - did you just connect three different series?!
Motherfuck, you did, didn't you! You sly fox!
1/14/2018 c5 cmr2014
Ah, Unser.
I always felt bad Hale bought it. I love generational parallels, and the way Hale seemed to be edging toward this understanding with Jax just smacked of the Faustian bargain that set everything in Charming in motion to begin with. It coulda been a t'inga beauty!
1/13/2018 c4 cmr2014
By now we'd have our own business
And a house just out of town
In a neighborhood that smelled like dinner
When the sun went down
Two kids playing in their rooms
With toys we never had
A little girl who looks like you
And a boy just like his dad

Somewhere down that road not taken
Will forever live those dreams that were forsaken
Just every now and then
I think about what would have been
Somewhere down that road not taken
1/13/2018 c3 cmr2014
I miss Tara. I get the nature of SOA was targedy, but damnit - there was a bright shining moment where she and Jax were just golden.

It's so counter-intuitive, I'd never think of the two shows together, but this is really good!
1/13/2018 c2 cmr2014
I'm trying to decide if I can picture Riggins (if that is indeed which Tim it is) watching "Nashville". It's very Dean-from-SPN of him.

Ever notice how many times people try to rig the answer of daisy-picking, thereby defeating the entire purpose?

"You can't...take the boy out of Texas..."
Oh, you can. Lotta Texans have left and stayed away. But you *never* take the Texas outta the boy. Wherever I touch wheels down - hell, I could spend the rest of my life in Canada, or Thailand, or Chile. Don't matter, Texan is Texan, always.

I feel bad for you, owning nothing. Should I send clothes and food? Books, perhaps?
1/13/2018 c1 cmr2014
Two shows I *never* imagined crossing over.

I read this and all I can imagine is her dad having a heart attack if he knows *any* of this.
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