Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for my dark little ninja secret

5/31/2014 c1 124Raven Silver Wolf
Inuyasha SUCCCCCKS major ass

Raven
4/13/2014 c3 1dragonic raptor
i do have different scenarios in my mind but i would like to know what you have so far on the attack before i give mine out so that i can help you make it even better :D unless you don't need anymore help. in either case please let me know :D

Ja ne
4/3/2014 c3 anonymous chick
Have Kagome show up just in time to save everyone, but the kyuubi still has to be sealed because she refused to kill it because it "still has good in its heart, unlike inuyasha", so it is sealed in Naruto. Please update soon, doll!
3/25/2014 c1 6KEdakumi
Unfortunately I am going to have to stop reading here. You may want to check out the definition for 'Mary Sue' as it relates to fanfiction. Mary Sues amd Gary Stues can be major turn offs. No one is all powerful. Everyone has a weakness.
Watch putting commentary on the middle of your story (cough- Kik-ho) it interrupts the flow. If your character is a nasty piece of work, describe that through the telling of your story.
On a similar note, you may want to allow a slower build up. Does she have to be so accepting to another sudden life change of such extreme proportions? What are her thoughts? What is actually happening around her? A descriptive story has more to it the just describing the clothes they wear.
Also, a good beta reader would help catch any misspellings or missed capitalization.
These are just some things I was thinking as I read your story. They are totally meant as polite, constructive criticism.
3/23/2014 c2 Kimori Takahashi
Hope you update soon!
20 « Prev Page 1 2

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service