for Curse of the Lucario10/7/2024 c1 FarSeenNomic
Happy 10 year anniversary!
Thanks for getting me into fanfiction with this!
Happy 10 year anniversary!
Thanks for getting me into fanfiction with this!
10/31/2023 c19 garfieldlover
.ever
.ever
10/29/2023 c1 Guest
cool bro
cool bro
4/10/2023 c19 Scartacus
That was good. Nothing more to Say, i Hope Shade gonna be Friend with Jason at school.
That was good. Nothing more to Say, i Hope Shade gonna be Friend with Jason at school.
1/16/2023 c11 Mr. Bobbins
This fic is really all over the place. My initial thought was this might be a slice of life, (there are too few of these and that is what I was hoping to read. You had me hooked for awhile.) then before that plot can really get fleshed out the WPO shows up and says “Yer the chosen one, don’t get kidnapped”. The WPO is gone in 1 chapter and the MC goes on a vacation, then the vacation is interrupted by someone else with Pokémon transformation stuff who can pick the MC lucario out in a haystack of lucario even though they’ve never met. JUST PICK ONE OF THESE PLOTS AND STICK WITH IT. It’s very jarring for the reader to be yanked around like this.
Also, you have a habit of telling the reader what is going on instead of showing. Eg: “he smiled sheepishly” versus “he averted his gaze and smiled, one paw ripping his other forearm”. Just look for all the -ly suffix words to find the places.
This fic is really all over the place. My initial thought was this might be a slice of life, (there are too few of these and that is what I was hoping to read. You had me hooked for awhile.) then before that plot can really get fleshed out the WPO shows up and says “Yer the chosen one, don’t get kidnapped”. The WPO is gone in 1 chapter and the MC goes on a vacation, then the vacation is interrupted by someone else with Pokémon transformation stuff who can pick the MC lucario out in a haystack of lucario even though they’ve never met. JUST PICK ONE OF THESE PLOTS AND STICK WITH IT. It’s very jarring for the reader to be yanked around like this.
Also, you have a habit of telling the reader what is going on instead of showing. Eg: “he smiled sheepishly” versus “he averted his gaze and smiled, one paw ripping his other forearm”. Just look for all the -ly suffix words to find the places.
1/16/2023 c6 Mr. Bobbins
You already have a lot of plot points at the moment. Maybe flesh those out before pushing them all aside for the world ending threat.
You already have a lot of plot points at the moment. Maybe flesh those out before pushing them all aside for the world ending threat.
1/15/2023 c3 Mr. Bobbins
This has a strong start, although it feels like you kinda skipped over the difficulty of the MC learning moves. Constraints make power more interesting so a struggle to learn said power might work better.
This has a strong start, although it feels like you kinda skipped over the difficulty of the MC learning moves. Constraints make power more interesting so a struggle to learn said power might work better.
9/10/2022 c5 matt.stahl.754
Only problem with the story so far. While tall for some pokemon a lucario stands an average of 311"
Only problem with the story so far. While tall for some pokemon a lucario stands an average of 311"
8/9/2021 c19 Aki Utsukushi
i feel empty,i read this too fast it was good interesting concept and all i mean this could be made into a series with alternative or something like that anyways this is a good work we didn't see everydays
i feel empty,i read this too fast it was good interesting concept and all i mean this could be made into a series with alternative or something like that anyways this is a good work we didn't see everydays
6/6/2021 c3 A Guy
An interesting concept, but I'm surprised that people aren't more skeptic or weirded out. I mean, everyone so far has been like 'okay he's a Lucario lmao'. I would expect more of a 'wait you're just pranking me right bro' or a 'Holy crap a human Lucario? What? No way!'. I just feel like the characters accept the concept too easily.
An interesting concept, but I'm surprised that people aren't more skeptic or weirded out. I mean, everyone so far has been like 'okay he's a Lucario lmao'. I would expect more of a 'wait you're just pranking me right bro' or a 'Holy crap a human Lucario? What? No way!'. I just feel like the characters accept the concept too easily.
9/13/2020 c8 Bob45
Great story.
Great story.
8/10/2020 c6 Knee2998
Good writing so far. I really like this sort of style when it comes to this. Also, do you have a discord server?
Good writing so far. I really like this sort of style when it comes to this. Also, do you have a discord server?
4/12/2020 c19 Guest
Yes yes you should write a sequel! This was very well written with *very* few grammatical errors. The plot was so good and I kept wanting to read past my bedtime more just to find out what happens to Jason next.
Yes yes you should write a sequel! This was very well written with *very* few grammatical errors. The plot was so good and I kept wanting to read past my bedtime more just to find out what happens to Jason next.
4/11/2020 c3 Guest
Here. Have some cake for such a good story. [::]
Here. Have some cake for such a good story. [::]