for Dragon Age: Dovahkiin5/22/2014 c1 
21thepkrmgc
DA has its own explanation of those, its not just another part of tamriel. i like your choice of dark elf, although one of the beat races might have caused quite a stir in thedas
21thepkrmgcDA has its own explanation of those, its not just another part of tamriel. i like your choice of dark elf, although one of the beat races might have caused quite a stir in thedas
5/20/2014 c2 Guest
Great story so far. I'm looking forward to more.
Just one note. Your Dragonborn is interesting, but I see you frequently desribe her beauty, especially her eyes. I wanted to say that maybe you could cut that down, at least a bit. I would really hate for her to end up as a 'Mary Sue', because I really like her so far. It's just a piece of advice though, and you keep writing as you want. I'm looking forward to see how the rest of the story turns out.
Great story so far. I'm looking forward to more.
Just one note. Your Dragonborn is interesting, but I see you frequently desribe her beauty, especially her eyes. I wanted to say that maybe you could cut that down, at least a bit. I would really hate for her to end up as a 'Mary Sue', because I really like her so far. It's just a piece of advice though, and you keep writing as you want. I'm looking forward to see how the rest of the story turns out.
5/18/2014 c2 thefluffyone93
I tried to read this, and I got about halfway. There are just too many problems with grammar, tenses, and sentence structure for me to enjoy this. You clearly have enough content, and the idea is sound; its just the way it is written. Is English perhaps a secondary language? You need someone to go over and correct these, to a native speaker, relatively small errors that just built up into a mountain in your story.
I tried to read this, and I got about halfway. There are just too many problems with grammar, tenses, and sentence structure for me to enjoy this. You clearly have enough content, and the idea is sound; its just the way it is written. Is English perhaps a secondary language? You need someone to go over and correct these, to a native speaker, relatively small errors that just built up into a mountain in your story.
5/18/2014 c2 3etheral-23
look's way better than the original version. You're off to a good start there
3etheral-23look's way better than the original version. You're off to a good start there
4/7/2014 c1 Guest
lols thalmor EVERYWHERE
lols thalmor EVERYWHERE