for Yellow's undying Yearning for love6/14/2015 c1 
22ChocoChipKitty
It was good, and it was amusing, but...
Well, first of all, Red and Yellow are best friends. They care way too much about each other to have such harsh words against each other. They would be awkward about romance, but Red wouldn't diss it to Yellow's face and Yellow wouldn't ever raise her voice to anyone, MUCH less Red.
Secondly, I cannot see Yellow using such vulgar language. It's probably the most out of character thing she'd ever do, besides hurting someone she cares about. And I don't think Red would ever curse, either.
So, yes, it was a funny story. I liked it, I just can't see Red and Yellow as the characters in it. Blue and Green would most likely fit it better, but even so, you definitely overused cuss words.
There is absolutely no reason to include that much vulgar language. I'm sure you have a much bigger vocabulary and can use much better, more mature words than curse words.
Other than that, it was definitely hilarious. I loved the humor! The different views on romance were ridiculously funny. It was a nice story and thank you for recommending it to me to read.
22ChocoChipKittyIt was good, and it was amusing, but...
Well, first of all, Red and Yellow are best friends. They care way too much about each other to have such harsh words against each other. They would be awkward about romance, but Red wouldn't diss it to Yellow's face and Yellow wouldn't ever raise her voice to anyone, MUCH less Red.
Secondly, I cannot see Yellow using such vulgar language. It's probably the most out of character thing she'd ever do, besides hurting someone she cares about. And I don't think Red would ever curse, either.
So, yes, it was a funny story. I liked it, I just can't see Red and Yellow as the characters in it. Blue and Green would most likely fit it better, but even so, you definitely overused cuss words.
There is absolutely no reason to include that much vulgar language. I'm sure you have a much bigger vocabulary and can use much better, more mature words than curse words.
Other than that, it was definitely hilarious. I loved the humor! The different views on romance were ridiculously funny. It was a nice story and thank you for recommending it to me to read.
5/23/2014 c1 6ZombieSlayers
A vulgar but still entertaining story but why does red have red hair he normally has black hair in the manga.
6ZombieSlayersA vulgar but still entertaining story but why does red have red hair he normally has black hair in the manga.