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for Wind Under My Wings

6/27/2014 c1 58hiddenhibernian
I'm intrigued by the idea for your fic; house-elves have always seemed such a good subject for a proper, in-depth fic, but the little buggers are such a pain to write that no one ever seems to go for it.

Loved the intro!

The personification of Hogwarts was a neat idea, and I enjoyed the historical references. While it's obvious that Hogwarts isn't telling the Hermione the entire truth, I think you could get away with being even more mysterious, giving the reader even less to go on to make them click on the next chapter.

I laughed at Professor Binns (with an s - I think I saw a few 'Binn' having crept in later on) being obsessed with the Goblin Wars because that's how he died - that would make sense! Although, according to canon he died in the middle of teaching, so might be difficult to reconcile the two. ...And I see you're addressing that later on, so never mind!

"all more obnoxious than simply leaving that behind" - I'm afraid I don't quite understand what Hogwarts is saying here. Is lying better than honour, truth and fidelity?

I can definitely sense some fore-shadowing with the mention of Occlumency - it will be interesting to see when the story starting in chapter one is set! You could change the outcome of the war quite a bit, if Hermione can teach Harry to Occlude his mind...

per say - per se

In the fifth and ninth paragraph, there's some present tense mixed in; better just stick to past tense, since that what you're using in the rest of the chapter. Same thing in the eleventh paragraph: it should be "She'd wondered" and "she'd read", since it's all in the past before the current scene. It pops up again in the last sentence of the main body too.

Great beginning, well done!
6/13/2014 c3 5ForbiddenOne14
Awesome keep up the good work
6/13/2014 c3 5Man of Constant Sorrow
I rarely (read: never) read non Harry centric stories, but the premise in the summary was just too interesting to pass up.

I quite enjoy the premise and especially like the injection of history into the Potterverse.

The only thing I can truly critique is in chapter two, when you had Hermione basically phoning in her presence in classes and her less than positive opinion of Arithmancy, which was not consistent with her character, this was further emphasised when you showed her thoughts about binns and how she had nothing bad to say about the class, just Ron and Harry's lack of notetaking. If she doesn't understand something she would ask questions, if she thought the subject was rubbish she would drop it.

I love how you've addressed the inherent hypocrisy of wizarding society, fear and loathe goblins, yet they let them control their economy.

This story makes me question if perhaps that fountain that resides at the bottom of the lake was perhaps the remnants of what was once an elvish settlement that was destroyed after their defeat and subsequent building of Hogwarts.

I look forward to seeing how things play out in her quest for the truth and the fate of wizarding society.

Thanks so much for sharing, I eagerly await your next. favorited
6/12/2014 c3 anotherboarduser
This is getting good.
6/12/2014 c3 serialkeller
Don't know where this story is going, but I'll stick with it for another while and harry not knowing his inheritance always annoyed me in canon. Update again soon!
6/12/2014 c3 skopde
Greetings my dear,

Intriguing story you have here. I admit you had me hooked as soon as summary. There's a reason I dig everything scifichick774 writes and that reason starts with a capital H. Moving on, I vaguelyremember another story, a one-shot where Hermione freed the elves. It didn't end well for her - dark humour with splashes of gore, I believe, but the idea is still novel and could be built upon. Oh if only I had the will to pursue creative writing outside of my usual five essays per week quota.

Anyway, I digress. This is a completely different story (at least I imagine it is) as the premise of the ending should take a different, but still curiously entertaining route. I have to concur on the point you made about goblins - there is nothing that makes me hit back button faster than an army of subservient goblins ready to fix Harry Potter from heel to toe. Overused, sadly chlich├ęd (though it should have never even became a thing, really) and stale. You are a breath of fresh wind amongst the rotting mass grave that is . Thank you.

On a less grim note, I enjoyed your newest preview and I'll be sure to pick that one-shot up as soon as you hit publish. Or whatever the button says when you submit a story here.

Have a nice day,
5/24/2014 c2 Sage of Wind Dragons
Hermiones hatred on purebloods just as a THING is bad with Neville and Ron, and I sort of dislike that Black Dumbledore, and Potter were all the names cause that's macking the line Harry which sets a bad precent of giving Harry the "nobel" heritage and teachings while protected from the scorn of regular pure bloods.
but I guess...
anyway hope the Weasely are one of them, hell considering how MANY of them are thereand that they have a BIG family, they seem to be the healthiest known pure blood family then wouldent they? and all the children like Fred and George, ALL of them are a level of excellent that is a DANGEROUS combo...

and hell considering how bad BOTH of them, Harry and Hermione have been about some of this stuff... I really hope she talks to both her friends so they can start up an interesting dynamic here. Harrys perspective could be fun cause add someone elses perspective but sort of coming form the same place, but RONS perspective could be the most fun, I always enjoyed that HE was the one that said DONT GIVE the goblin a wand, and when it tried to respond with calling him a raciest on not giving up the wands, RON responded with you can already use magic effectively, Goblins with their screwy ownership rights and you are on loan to us forever perspective AND that THEY haddent shared their metal magical working, so why should they show thier wands work?

I LOVED that because of PERSPECTIVE.
and add in the fact that WARS meaning both sides strong enough TO DO SO.
also Ron read hair from Scotland/England so what wars behind the scenes were they involved in?
hell could have moved around or married here or there...
hell the secret wars that were happening all through the years, I got to wonder what was GOING ON, probably a tad more political and a bit of Merlin with game of thrones... wonder which muggle kings and the like were actually wizards... hell what mythological myths were wizards and what myths were TRUE.

Ill be honest with the potential for straw reverse racism to just dump on it, the dead elves collective perspective of Morality what silly nonsense, and that... SCORN... im quite curious to see how this could blow up in her face, even as I hope it be more balanced. although mistakes in the future! and LEARNING and concequences which lead to guilt which leads to purpose...
still this has an interesting start, and I wonder on Albus's position on this... and really Dobby has to be the best natural way out of this for elvish kind, I cant imagine with how much secrecy the magical world has been under that they can interact with muggles to much and for centuries they have kept a jobs skill of house chores... some more freedom for them and getting PAID at least a little is probably the best way forword for em. gradual and nonviolent like. course Dobby ahs to have children and get THEM job working as well though to get out of any traps...
and this is hilarious but apparently Dobby needs a super harem then. heh.
but would Dobbybe legally reconized by any magic binding as being in charge of em or would it be the mother or? huh.
5/13/2014 c2 WarthogHerme
Good update
5/12/2014 c1 dianaanne
Wow. Such a wonderfully unique start. Cannot wait to see what is next.
5/11/2014 c1 WarthogHerme
Interesting premise, please continue
5/6/2014 c1 Christorr
Very impressive beginning. Amazed by author's imagination-especially like " I can see you like books".
5/6/2014 c1 1geetac
I like the beginning chapter
5/6/2014 c1 Lume
After so many stories, It's a shock when you see a new fic with a unique plot, I really want to read more and it's a plus that my favorite character it's the main here. Looking forward to the next chapter!
5/6/2014 c1 anotherboarduser
This story has potential, the introduction is interesting and gives a good background.

I look forward to reading more.
5/5/2014 c1 Lemur
Very neat story; thanks.

Two theories on what the book you read as an epsilon might be, although neither has a title symbolic enough to seem likely to be it.

My first thought was this one that my mom read to me once upon a time, though it's about the protagonist's grandfather's plane: . _to_Coast

A second one, which might fit your description better, at least in some ways, is Dragonwings, by Laurence Yep.

Also, minor canon correction: Binns didn't die in the goblin wars, he died in his sleep in the teacher's lounge at some point and just kept teaching.

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