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for The Eight Steps

6/14/2020 c4 2k+Hawki
Can't say that I'm all that fond of this entry.

Colin being attracted to Harry? Okay, sure. However, the fic doesn't really tell me why Colin's attracted to Harry bar a single line - "he's an amazing, powerful, handsome wizard and I'm just..." That doesn't tell me much, and it makes it come off more as infatuation. Which may be the intention (certainly it would match Colin's behaviour in the books), but I doubt that IS the intention. So if I'm to believe that Colin's genuinely in love with Harry, and is heartbroken by it, there isn't enough time dedicated to either of those things to make it believable.
6/14/2020 c3 Hawki
Y'know, I know rare pairings are, well, rare, but is there actually any basis for Parvati and Oliver to be paired? Do they even interact over the course of the books?

That isn't a criticism mind you, just an observation. That aside, the dialogue is decent, and flows well enough. That said, I wouldn't mind more info on Shreena. It's written with the expectation that we know who Parvati is (which is an entirely reasonable expectation), but her aunt? Not so much. Still, the dialogue does give us insight into her personality, so it does pass the "show, don't tell" test by doing the former rather than the latter.

So, decent job.
8/12/2014 c2 48Laura Scofield
Luna is one character I think works extremely well in a F/F fic, especially when you do it. I would have liked to see Cho developed more in the books, and I love the idea of her & Luna finding happiness together :) I love how you portray Luna here, it really captures the essence of why she's one of my favourite characters.
8/5/2014 c2 2k+Hawki
Decent overall. It's something I can see Luna doing, kiss aside. Only real drawback is where Cho breaks into tears. Nothing wrong with this in itself, but the crying begins and ends over the course of a single paragraph. Chekov's gun and all that. But that aside, still decent.
6/23/2014 c1 48Laura Scofield
I love how you show a Slytherin can change their spots (or rather they're not all completely evil). I'm glad for Ginny their relationship is starting to head down the path she wants :)
5/9/2014 c1 2k+Hawki
-“Don't own and never will. Why else do you think Harry ended up with Ginny and not the one he belongs with Luna?”

Well…better Luna than Ginny. No other shots shall be fired. ;)

-As for the story…I’m afraid it’s really another case of it being too short to have any impact. I assume Theo is Theodore Nott, but even if that’s the case, there’s just not enough context to get a sense for the pairing. That Ginny awkwardly talks to herself doesn’t help matters.

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