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11/17/2014 c3 Ibskib
I noticed that you sometimes miss inserting the definite article, definitely something you (and your beta) need to be more careful about.
Also the history/codex isn't proofread quite as thoroughly.
There were more, but these are the ones I remembered to write down:
ability - the ability
animagus transformation - the animagus transformation
accept Hierarchy - accept The Hierarchy
for aliens - for the aliens
enemy cannot - the enemy cannot
What our enemies are - What are our enemies
abasic - a basic
an offending one - an enemy mage/a mage on the offensive
such attacker - such an attacker
arcane - the arcane (in previous chapter)
11/5/2014 c3 HellsMaji
Uh, I don't really know how big a Turian patrol fleet is, but I seriously doubt it's 340 ships. You said the Alliance had 34 ships in orbit and, presuming it's a defense fleet, a simple patrol fleet probably shouldn't outnumber them. Especially not 10 to 1.
11/4/2014 c7 koper
Great story so far, have you though about civ beyond earth x mass effect xrossover?
10/29/2014 c8 XXXthe GOD
roger,roger: The geth unit said as it followed harry to it doom :meat bag.
10/24/2014 c8 23Byakugan789
We got better... if that isn't the funniest of all overused cliche's...

See you next update.
10/23/2014 c4 Byakugan789
Oooh, clever. Light sabers block due to identical magnetic charge fields. I would have said solid plasma field, or hard light, but that's much more elegant and easier to accomplish.
10/23/2014 c3 Byakugan789
Interesting certainly.
10/23/2014 c1 Byakugan789
While there were a fair number of things I found disheartening about your first chapter it was pretty good world building and I commend you for singing a different tune than every other freaking idiot who says because magical Britain is a wreck the rest of the magical world goes apocalyptic.

The one thing I find truly sad though is that you, like so many others, destroy Ravenclaw's diadem without even pausing to imagine how it might be cleansed. We're talking about an artifact that can be put on the head of your village idiot and make him/her Einstein with the wisdom of a fairy tale king/queen or philosopher. That's not even going into the mechanics of how it does so or the various fanon adaptations. I always cry a little when I see people so callously destroy the cool and useful artifacts in games, books, movies and fanfiction. You do at least work up the vanishing cabinette angle, but...sigh.

I'm curious though, only five percent chance? Where do all of the halfbloods come from then? Most of them aren't mentioned as being muggleborn pureblood halfbreeds, but rather muggle some sort of witch/wizard halfbreeds. Artistic license i guess...

Harry sterile too, that's a new one. Although, him looking 20 in 2050 wouldn't raise too many eyebrows in the MAGICAL world. Dumbledore was 150 and still running around with the spritely young chaps. He first met Voldemort when he was 84 and he had only just started getting grey hairs. If you wanna talk about dumb cliche's, there's the one to facepalm over. The rest of Harry's woes are amusing and reasonable in universe, just not that.
10/1/2014 c8 1Swordude
I firmly believe that you omake is perfectly fitting for a whimsical immortal Harry.

The standard footman doesn't pose him much threat, and simply destroying them is boring. Why not turn them into a newt. Or Swap their left and right hands. Or curse their fingers to fall off. Or my personal favorite: Turn their weapons into fish, it isn't fool proof, but honestly how's a squad of elite commandos supposed to react when their snipers are sturgeons, shotguns are salmon, rifles are rays, pistols are porgy and grenades are goldfish?

Anyway, I appreciate what you've got so far. The writing is clear, the story well shaped, and you are following events with copying them verbatim. Good world, good story. Though I'd like to see a bit more of what makes your universe different from the standard ME, like other races utilizing magic devices, reactions to magic, etc. How does the new stuff you put in effect the rest of a galaxy?
9/25/2014 c8 6Tellur
Interesting story that shows great promise! Keep it up!
The only thing I noticed negatively were frequently missing articles ('the'). You might want to be more careful where you place them.

I'm very interested to see the clash between the Reapers and magical humanity. You insinuated that the Reapers themselves have some connection to magic, so they might be the first and only thing to really threaten the Alliance. Should be fun!
9/8/2014 c8 Wednesday's Jest
Excellent story so far. I am looking forward to where you take this.
8/15/2014 c8 Commander Christmas
Funny story, i look forward to more.
8/9/2014 c8 ews1
Very cool, are you going to do anything with the other sentient magical races, space centaurs or find the merpeople a water world?
8/7/2014 c8 1Dennis Creevy
I love it! Brilliant merger of the two Universes, I really hope that this story doesn't die like so many other good ones.
8/5/2014 c8 koper
I think this is great story. Keep going
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