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for Pokemon: Shadowed Destiny

11/11 c40 Mirkon
The writers block if I had to guess has stopped yet another story I've enjoyed! This story is not perfect but what it has is charm. That and each section is tied together with fluff or filler that makes transitions to each part of the story feel natural. Of course thats not to say theres no mistakes but overall great story! Thanks!
7/6/2020 c1 3Adamfics
I used to enjoy reading this story a lot back in my teenage years and it did inspire some of my fanfic preferences. Looking back now years later, it's honestly difficult to read through. The prose is barebones at best, the dialogue makes me want to groan and there are several typos just sitting around everywhere.

The pacing is especially appalling with things happening simply because plot and not really for any logical reason. The premise of the fic falls apart when you consider how many ways Mew could've avoided the fate that led to her death. Fun fact: Mew can create barriers and can teleport in the blink of an eye. That's not mentioning the species superb psionics, so stopping a few falling boulders or just healing up the wound would've been a cakewalk. The story needs to have had a more compelling reason to believe something could lead to Mew's death like that, but it comes off as a poorly thought out plot device than anything.

Ryu's character also isn't great. This guy gets turned into a pokemon yet he was very quick to be chill about the whole thing, and many times he just comes across as arrogant and yet everyone just rolls with it. I find it unlikely that anyone who became a pokemon would just submit themselves to a trainer after being saved from an injury that very trainer caused. Like many events in the story, it was highly forced and easily takes one out of the experience. It would've been far better if Ryu and Lunas relationship took time to develop before he decides to become her pokemon.

Also the fact about all legendary pokemon having their own poke balls is incredibly nonsensical and even Arceus just accepting Mew's death so easily and not doing anything to question him thoroughly made little logical sense. Depending on Arceus relationship with Mew, he should've been incredibly bitter about this human that for some reason is now carrying on her legacy for absolutely no compelling reason. Ryu just took over the role of a legendary. Show us the ramifications of such an event and have him prove he has what it takes to live up to the task or face condemnation.

The last real arc before your long hiatus was incredibly disappointing. I remember enjoying the early bits years ago when you started the story, but then for some reason you brute forced it into ending abruptly without any kind of satisfying pay off. I can't blame you however because the arc itself tonally clashed with everything that came before it and was unnecessarily dark. It also didn't connect organically with the arc that came before it.

After giving this story a reread, it's pretty clear that this was made as an escapism fantasy first and less an attempt at crafting a worthwhile narrative second. It's a bit of a shame because the story concept on its own is pretty intriguing and could've been a much more enjoyable ride had it been given more care to quality.

I don't know if you're ever going to come back to the fanfiction scene or if it's a life you've fully left behind. However, it would be nice to see how this story would be should you give it a rewrite or revision with your current experience.
3/22/2020 c7 3Kestrel
I know this is a discontinued story, but I have to say that I just got hit with a HUGE wave of nostalgia
11/21/2019 c25 Guest
That part wasnt offensive, it was stupid and felt uneedee.
12/2/2018 c40 5Coolstar422
Curiousity has me asking (Since I just re-read this for the millionth time) since it's been almost three years since the last update, are you planning on continuing this, is it on seemingly permanent hiatus, or has it been abandoned?
12/11/2017 c1 Gabri0n
I cringe looking at my previous 2 comments but really, please come back
6/13/2017 c40 Gabri0n
2/27/2017 c1 Gabri0n
Please, UPDATE, or tell us why you cant at least
2/25/2017 c40 1omegawolf83
make update please this is such a great story.
2/6/2017 c40 Gabri0n
One day, you will come back to us and finish this amazing story, I will await your return
11/13/2016 c40 Guest
Its a shame really, to see such a great story fall into the depths
Of lazyness and uninspiredness
4/27/2016 c40 1vivi05
update? out of ideas? busy with life? please keep your fans informed if you have irl stuff to deal with
3/1/2016 c18 toxicknightmaremoon
On chapter 18 its called a mane duh.
2/16/2016 c40 4Solaris Startear
I do love this story and see it going even greater places! Don't disappoint with the Alamora region, I'm looking forward to the next chapter!
Now, I would like to submit an idea for a legendary Pokémon. Its name is Kaoshikina, the Entropy Pokémon. It has a humanoid body shape. It's white, with a gray belly and black patterns spiralling down its arms and legs. It has a black devil tail. Two small horns poke up from its forehead, its eyes are two glowing red dots, and it has no visible mouth. The air around it is always shadowy, randomly clearing and reforming. The darkest is thickest around its chest, which cabn never be seen.
Kaoshikina's ability is Unstable Elements, which causes its type to randomly change every time it attacks. Before it attacks, it's a Dark-Ghost type.
"People who have seen it report hearing laughter coming from nowhere while around it. It's said that being close to this Pokémon for too long will cause you to lose your sanity"
-Pokedex Entry
I hope that was what you wanted for the ideas, and I hope you like it!
2/13/2016 c40 21TheHappyTyranid
Good lord the author notes ruined the stories. I'd just put like little *'s.
But that's just my opinion. I really need to start working on my stories and not reveiw others...
Man so much paperwork to do...Where did I put that pair of reading glasses...?
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