Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Pokemon: Shadowed Destiny

8/28/2014 c26 25CloudSkylark18
Uhh... you should take another look at this chapter.
8/25/2014 c22 4UnsungMelody2209
Just a note that will probably be useless to you or maybe be helpful in the future but since both shadow and light walk on all fours considering they are feline creatures, maybe it wouldn't be best if you had them 'hold paws' while walking away... Unless you intend for them to have some awkward three legged limp while maintaining paw contact? Lol XD that would be funny to watch. But maybe instead have them walk side by side with their tails entwined. That would be cute :3 just a note. Idk.
8/20/2014 c7 Guest
I want to behead team rocket and send them to silent hill
8/20/2014 c25 Luckywhisker
Here's an afterthought:

A little while ago, "The Winter's Shadow Pt. 2" in fact, you said you were going to do a touney with our OCs in it. I don't know what you already had in mind for that, but if it were me I would use the tournament you said Luna was competing in this next chapter (great idea by the way) to use those characters. I think the tournament would be great to mark the end of Ryu's time off, so you can get back to the initial storyline.
8/18/2014 c7 UnsungMelody2209
So far it's pretty good. Wasn't able to read for too long today but still managed to get to ch7. Couple of comments.
1. It took a different turn than I expected about Ryu becoming a pokemon. Unexpected? Yes. Bad? No. First fanfic I've read like this.
2. Maybe it's the idea of being submissive or dominated in anyway or form that I don't like but Ryu takes becoming a pokemon wayyy to lightly lol. I would not let someone catch me lmao. But that is just me, nothing to do with your story lol.
3. Very few grammatical mistakes that are few in number and insignificant and you have probably become better at noticing as you continue to write. After all, I am only on 7 out of 25 or something.
So I look forward to reading the rest but I will save it for another day. If I keep reading 7 chapters a day I will quickly run out of reading material lol
P.s thank you for your pm reply. That's very nice of you because I usually try to leave some constructive criticism or feedback and don't get a lot of replies. It's not important but it's a nice gesture when the author replies. Shows he actually cares about his readers lol you have my respect. Keep up the good work.
8/18/2014 c25 25CloudSkylark18
Yeah I can forgive you. Well i'll just wait for the next chapter then.
8/18/2014 c1 4UnsungMelody2209
Very, very impressive first chapter. I am completely amazed at how u managed to captivate me after the flash back. You have set a good pace for your story already and I hope u can keep it up. I shall continue reading now. But good job again.
8/17/2014 c25 Luckywhisker
My dear friend, you are a really good writer. You have a great story beginning and some remarkable characters, but you lack a storyline.
I would be okay with the wait if you would take a week or two off, sort of brainstorm possible story lines. I'll give you a few ideas, but the ultimate decision is yours.

Lucky's Idea Bag:

1) You need to introduce an antagonist (the bad BAD guy). So far, you've only had Team Rocket's Jessie, James, and Meowth, but they're basically comic relief (they try somfink funky, it fails, they scream their slogan, the end). You need the bad guy, the one willing to do anything to kill, and yes I said kill, Ryu and the gang.
2) This is just a side-note: unless you are going to do something with Zeena (like have her betray Ryu and Luna!), take her out of the story. She's just there, no one needs her, and frankly, I don't WANT her. P.S. - Is she a character from the anime? I have no idea why everyone knows her.
3) Have something happen to Luna. And I'm not talking about what you already have going on. I think you should have Luna disappear (perhaps kidnapped by the bad guy), and have Ryu and the others have to find her.
4) Another note: please stop with all the romantic RyuxWinter stuff. I really think it takes away from the flow of the story. I mean, you should add a peck on the cheek occasionally, but don't overdo it.
5) Add personalities and casualties. You're background character development is pretty low, and there haven't been any casualties. Maybe do a section of the story where Ryu is unable to battle. Or kill one of Luna's team (after we've all become attached to him/her). OH! OH! SACRIFICE PLAYS!

Anyway, these are just my thoughts. Keep writing!
7/27/2014 c2 2Kari-is-happy
You , monster. You killed Mew. :'(
7/23/2014 c23 4NinjaLayor
I was thinking, and the strangest question popped into my mind. Why a SHADOW Mew? I mean, yeah, we know that without a Mew, bad stuff will happen, and that Ryu has a fascination with Shadow Pokemon, but that doesn't explain why make him a Shadow Mew. Is there a reason that Ryu needed to be stronger, such as there's some reason that has yet to present itself, such as a legitimate evil, brewing on the horizon? (Sorry Team Rocket... but you've attained the status of Comic Relief at this point in the show. Most people don't take you serious anymore... well, some.) (Why only one review per chapter... oh well.)
7/21/2014 c24 25CloudSkylark18
nice. can't wait for the next chapter. I can't wait to see Luna's other team
7/21/2014 c24 4NinjaLayor
I have to say, I like this so far. My OC is a Zoroark named Rion, male, who is skilled in battling, and has a vigilante type personality. He's about 15 years of age.
7/21/2014 c24 4Solaris Startear
As long as my request for the eeveelution team doesn't count as an OC, here's mine:

Pokemon: Diancie( or Carbink, if mythical pokemon aren't allowed)
Name: Gem
No gender
Moves: Diamond Storm(dazzling gleam, if carbink)
Rock Slide
Rock Polish
Protect
Personality: Usually tries I be calm and collected, but in the heat of battle, loses all of that and simply goes crazy.
Background: Used to live a lonely life in a dark cave, but it's life was given meaning when it was captured and introduced to the excitement of battling.

Hope this is what you wanted.
7/21/2014 c24 30NRMania
AHHH LOVE, TOO GREAT. No plz I fan dun so yeah, also I sent you mine ages ago so... whats going on there? Just make up what I will look like, the team is all that matters!
anyway, ima go snort some cobalion, cya later.
7/19/2014 c1 7LucarioMaster41
home
201 « Prev Page 1 .. 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 .. Last Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service