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7/13/2019 c54 4DschingisKhan
This chapter really feels like it encapsulates the title of the story with its series of temporally connected vignettes. Don't remember what was going on with Miyuki, but I hope she finds a lover soon.
9/4/2018 c1 ryYZi
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9/2/2018 c1 CBOQv
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3/13/2018 c53 12Magiclapras
Dang, it's been a while. I was wondering if this was ever going to be updated again.
3/7/2018 c53 CTWind
Glad to see you came back man, I loved this story when I first found it, and I'm so glad I gave this a follow. I love your writing style, and I'm excited to see how 2 years changes the trajectory of the story.
3/7/2018 c53 4DschingisKhan
Welcome back. It's good to hear you're well.

Would you believe I remember fairly well what was going on in this story even without re-reading? I suppose you left an impression. :)
1/9/2017 c52 72wingsofseyfert12
Yo man sorry for not reviewing in, like, forever. Been in a bit of a fanfiction hiatus due to school this past semester. That and I wanted to concentrate more on writing original works as opposed to fanfiction.

But I'm happy to announce that I'm back and ready to write! Of course I'll be doing my own thing but I'm also going to be on here more often now.

Anyway chapter 51 was really solid. I really enjoyed Konata and Yutaka's conversation. This helps set up a final confrontation between Yutaka and Minami and where their relationship is heading. I honestly think Misao leaving out of town is the best thing to happen to Kagami. It will give the twin tailed girl some time to herself which I believe is what she needs most right now. Everybody seems to be putting in their two cents regarding her recent depression and ailing relationship with Misao but honestly they just need to give her some space now. Overall chapter 51 was a great chapter and left me looking forward to what was going to happen next.

Chapter 52 was not so solid.

The only part of the chapter I agreed with was Konata and Miyuki's interaction. Even so I feel like Miyuki needs to get over it already. Yes I know she has always been in a position as mediator and is often asked to help others (as Konata described) but Miyuki needs to understand that there is nothing wrong with getting help from others. If anything I was hoping she would because, honestly, Konata/Miyuki interactions are not very common and this could have been a great way for them to have furthered their friendship. Since everyone is hooking up I get the feeling that Miyuki feels distanced from her other friends and has endeavored in this (excuse me here) foolish quest of hers so that she feels like she has some purpose. She needs a friend, period and Konata could have been the one. Miyuki flaked out on Konata. She only has herself to blame then if she continues to feel left out.

The Matsuri/Kagami interaction wasn't necessary. Sure it was cute but it did nothing for your story. I would have preferred if Kagami had gone off by herself somewhere, like a lake or beach or something, and sit down and really think her situation through. This entire story she has been a slave to her emotions (believe me this past year has showed me just how crippling negative emotions can have on you) and now that she is in a position where she isn't subject to external stimuli she could have used it to focus on herself.

I honestly wanted a Kagami only perspective. Asking her to become what she was before is impossible now. Even so I felt like you missed a golden opportunity to truly have Kagami come to terms with what has happened to her and, now that she is using her brains and not her emotions, she can work out a gameplan regarding her relationship with Misao.

This would not only have made your chapter rich and introspective but, most importantly, it would DRIVEN THE PLOT ALONG! Your story has stagnated and I get the feeling that you're just putting chapters out there just because.

Chapter 51 had the perfect setup for great plot progression but Chapter 52 fails to capitalize on it. We get a Miyuki who is too stubborn to accept help when she needs to and is being intrusive and nosy as well (and honestly this is getting old already) and a redundant interaction between Matsuri and Kagami (which we already had in the previous chapter).

At the basis of all stories you have the following:


You have done a wonderful job regarding the conflict and climaxes of your characters and arcs each of them share. However we're at the part of the story now where there needs to be a resolution and, so far, I feel like I'm in your story's version of No Man's Land, especially with Chapter 52.

Anyway keep it up! I really want to know how this entire story is going to end.
9/19/2016 c51 4DschingisKhan
That Kagami was "unable to move on despite that being what she said she'd do" is kind of frightfully realistic. With time and care, she'll bloom again. Will it be in time to help those who helped her? Or is the universe going to zero the sum?
8/17/2016 c50 72wingsofseyfert12
Yo sup I was wondering when you were going to update this story lmao. For a while you were churning out chapters like no tomorrow and now I had to wait four months to read what happens next lol. It's all good. Personally I feel like crap knowing I haven't updated any of my works. The wall is too stronk lol but I'll break it eventually. Anyway on to the review.

Yuki is an interesting character and I agree with how you portrayed her. Her mischevious and teasing nature explains where Konata had gotten that character trait from. Overall an intersting character. I wish there was at least an animation of her in the show. Even Honoka had a little bit of screen time.

Now we move on to Yutaka and Minami starting with the grammar. There are several instances where you want to use a pronoun like 'that' or 'their' but end up with 'the' instead. This occurred often enough for it to be noticable. It didn't take much from the dialouge but still it's something you might want to go over. Read the chapter through and then make the necessary corrections or have a beta do it for you.

Despite that the chapter, especially the dialouge between Minami, Yutaka and Konata, was really well done. There is significant character exposition that is presented here especially now that Yutaka and Minami's relationship has come to an impasse.

You do a great job using the character traits presented in canon to justify why you took their relationship the way you did. Kudos to you for not making their relationship all daisies and roses. It's rare that these two characters are ever in a confronation so my interest was piqued the minute I read the chapter.

That being said I hate the way the two girls are going about their relationship. This is credit to your writing but I can't help but want to pull my hair out. Their biggest problem is letting semantics get in the way of fixing their relationship.

Minami took the first step in being frank with Yutaka but did it in such a roundabout way that it exacerbated Yutaka's feelings of discontent. Yutaka was upset at Minami not in what she said but how. I'm sure Minami did her best to speak her mind without upsetting Yutaka but she needed to realize that, at this point, she needed to go all in or not say anything at all. Had Minami just been spoken her mind outright without constantly worrying about Yutaka then this chapter would have ended with their problems resolved.

However Yutaka is also to blame. Here she states that she doesn't want to be treated like a helpless little girl but is still playing the victim with both her disposition and dialouge. She is literally being a hypocrite throughout the entire chapter and Konata is only exacerbating the problem. Konata being there to stand up for Yutaka kills any credibility that Yutaka is trying to make by trying to be 'stronger' for herself.

I had a good talk with my best friend, Filth, about getting things done one time and he told me straight up. "Just f****** do it."

That's exactly what I want to tell these two.

If Minami wants to fix the problems in their relationship she needs to not be afraid of speaking her mind. Even the best relationships will have disagreements and arguments. It's natural. But to just sit meekly by and sweep everything under the rug will only make things worse. Their relationship is where it's at because there is so much mess under the rug that Minami nor Yutaka can no longer ignore it.

Yutaka needs to stop whining and playing the victim and then cry about being treated like a little girl and do something about it. If I was Yutaka and I wanted to prove that I'm not a helpless little girl anymore then I would have told Konata to get lost. It's none of the otaku's business for one and two it would have proved to Minami that I, as Yutaka, am willing to confront my problems on my own and take the first step in becoming a stronger person.

It's no coincidence that whoever is sending the death threats are targeting Yutaka. They're targeting her because she is weak and helpless and nothing she has done, even in the whole 200K words of this story, has proven otherwise. Yutaka is very much to blame, even more so than Minami, for the rocky state of their relationship.

Frankly she needs to grow up already and actually do it and not just whine about it. Otherwise end this relationship and have Minami enter a relationship with Miyuki because it's obvious that Yutaka, regardless of what she says and wishes, isn't ready to be in a relationship.

In the end neither girl got their point across and the chapter ends on a somewhat despondent note. Hopefully both girls realize what it is that they need to do to keep their relationship alive.

Well written, quality chapter once again though it came late. Keep it up and here's hoping I don't have to wait till Christmas for a new update lol.
6/23/2016 c49 1CYKA30095
Dude, you have brought this story this far and it is amazing. Please, keep up your good work. If you don't remember, I wrote you a review many months ago. You inspired me to make my own fanfiction (yet it is in Spanish, sorry 'bout that " ). I'll translate it as soon as I finish it, so you can leave me a review one day too. Congratulations for 49 chapters and two years of work already.
4/25/2016 c49 72wingsofseyfert12
If I can point out my favorite part of this chapter is the fact that Masaru and Misao really do care about each other. Considering how crass they are to each other this little soft moment was pretty touching. I especially enjoyed how Masaru is so concerned about his sibling that he is willing to go to a family trip that he normally would pass out on. I actually am interested to see if you are going to follow up on that and dedicate a chapter with Masaru and Misao. I can see it already. The two of them out in the boonies visiting elderly relatives as they stare at the sky and really have a heart to heart with one another.

Truthfully I was never into Masaru's character very much but this chapter really endeared him to me. The fact that both he and Misao were acting all dere-dere with each other was cute and I loved how Akira (she is still a bitch) picked up on it.

You don't have to force the stories with Miki. This one was pretty fun to read. The anime had set Kanata up to be a mystical figure kind of similar to the way Adrian was used in the Balboa movie. However the little story put Kanata as just a regular human being with her own set of quirks. The fact that she and Miki kind of set a trend in homosexual relations is an interesting take on the girls' school life.

Miyuki is acting suspicious. I didn't really like her responses. I understand that she was upset at her mother for holding a grudge toward Honoka but I don't think it is in Miyuki's place to call her mother out on it. Frankly it isn't any of her business and I feel like, even though things did clear between the Honoka and Yukari, it wasn't her place to do so. Now she is sticking her nose even further into ancient history which I feel has no relevance to their situation. I don't know maybe I'm missing something but I can't help but feel uneasy about Miyuki and her motives.

Overall a good chapter with Misao and Masaru's interaction being exceptional. Keep it up :D
3/15/2016 c48 wingsofseyfert12
Yo Masaru go for it lol. Well kidding aside I like that Masaru kept it together. It didn't feel like a cheesy reason either. You did a great job expressing Akira's desperation.

The only thing I would have changed is have Masaru be a bit more tempted and struggle a bit. Other than that great interaction that pulls no punches.
2/18/2016 c47 wingsofseyfert12
These past two chapters have been quite the treat especially chapter forty seven. However I will start my review with chapter forty six and then I will continue on from there.

First off the idea of Miyuki playing detective is kinda cute. I imagine her with a pipe that blows bubbles, a detective's cap that is way too big for her and a trench coat that is too small and hardly hides her breasts lol. I really like this proactive Miyuki. It's different from the way most other authors write her so it is a breath of fresh air. The fact that she isn't automatically partnered with Tsukasa is a huge plus. I really hope she finds someone for her. Maybe Minami. Dang it I have to write a Miyuki/Minami one of these days if I can get my head out of my Kodomo no Jikan obsession at the moment lol.

Miki's insight into Tsukasa's character is spot on. Oh my goodness you did a great job here! Leave it to a mother to pin point what it is that is bothering her daughter. It was perfect. No joke. Tsukasa's character definetely reflects this. She is stronger and self-reliant but she doesn't have that boundless joy that she used to have. This is no slight to Konata but unfortunately the otaku cannot fill the void left by Kagami. I was really hoping to read the story Miki had about her relationship with Kanata Izumi but I suppose that will be for another. Darn you for cliff hangers!

Speaking of the parents I'm not surprised that you lumped them all in the same age group though I'm of the opinion that Tadao is a good deal older than the other adults (looks to be forty five or forty six) with Honoka being the youngest (probably only 33 or 34). But this is your story and I can understand why you would have them all the same age. It helps streamline your story and besides there is no offical source regarding the adults' ages.

I will say that Chapter forty seven has offically moved things along and I'm so happy that you managed to do it. I'm not surprised that Ayano is the catalyst here. Her words were harsh but they needed to be said. She had already suffered being in a dysfunctional relationship where she verbally and physically abused her boyfriend and doesn't want her two friends to go through the same thing.

Honestly Ayano really is a good friend. She's not afraid to say it like it is. The only thing I disagree with her is that the old Kagami is dead. She isn't but this new Kagami is doing a good job in trying to keep her old self buried alive. Truth be told I think the best way for Kagami to truly get over her slump will lie with Tsukasa. I'm still convinced that Kagami is depressed because she has literally lost the most important role in life for her and that was caring for Tsukasa. You hinted at this with Miki noticing Tsukasa's subdued behavior lately. Tsukasa misses her older sister and spending time with her.

The cure seems to be that Tsukasa should be dependent on Kagami once again for her well being but that is deterimental to both to of them. Kagami cannot use Tsukasa as a crutch and vice versa. Them returning to their old relationship is like drug addict taking his drugs to get rid of the withdrawal. I'm calling it. Kagami is suffering from a terrible case of seperation anxiety. All her time before was with her sister and now they hardly even interact. They can either return to their previous, co-dependent relationship or they have to come to terms that they will not always be together.

Thus I come back to Ayano. Their graduation is coming up and it won't be guranteed that Kagami and Tsukasa will go to the same college. If Kagami is suffering right now just how much worse will she get once she is physically away from Tsukasa? Without acknowledging it for what it is Kagami will continue to spiral out of control while Misao is powerless to help. Kagami may even start to lash out at Misao as she desperately tries to find an emotional outlet for her frustrations.

This is pretty heavy stuff here. This chapter shows that things are about to happen but whether they are going to be for the best or not only time will tell. Anyway both were great chapters and I enjoyed reading them!
1/18/2016 c45 wingsofseyfert12
Sorry for not having reviewed earlier. These holidays have consumed my time what not with family and such. Anyway FINALLY was able to get some real life stuff out of the way and, hopefully, I can write some of my own stuff in the time to come.

Anyway onto the story itself.

The beginning of this chapter started off somewhat weak. Perhaps I missed something but I don't know who those two other women are who were with Kuroi. Even so I did not like how dismissive Hikaru was and, truthfully, Kuroi should have just flipped her off and looked for somebody else to spend time with. Maybe I'm imparting myself a bit too much here but I say that Kuroi is better off going alone or even with her students than with someone who would not appreciate her company.

I loved the interaction between Konata and Tsukasa. Tsukasa is able to clearly express her own insecurities to help curb that of Konata's. I commend you for having them relate to each other considering the lack of time that Tsukasa and Konata are alone in the anime. Likewise I'm happy that Tsukasa isn't a total airhead and realizes that Kagami too is worried about her own future, which would be natural for any high schooler going into college. Tsukasa is able to come across to Konata in a manner that is still very much in character for her. Great job with this interaction.

The interaction between Sojiro and Yui is interesting. Considering their close relation I'm surprised the anime didn't have them interact alone more often. Theirs' is an interesting character dynamic and I feel that you did a good job expressing both of them without going too far out of left field. The idea of Sojiro doting on Yui when she was younger is believable. I would go so far as to say that it is the primary reason why she visits the Izumi residence so much. While she is a bit condescending regarding Sojiro's doting behavior I suspect she is just merely using that as a facade. Deep inside Sojiro's affectionate behavior toward Yui when she was younger probably made a very positive impression on her and hence why she seems to always hang out at her uncle's place. She probably feels completely at ease in Sojiro's company as she feels like with Konata.

I will even go so far as to say that Sojiro's doting on his sister also had the same effect and left a positive impression on her as well. She would never have trusted Yutaka with Sojiro if she felt otherwise. So despite his doting, borderline creepy behavior, it must have really left a resounding impact on all the women in his life including Kanata. So despite being a nerd, as Yui playfully teases him as, he is still respected and admired, someone to be trusted. So while this wasn't my favorite interaction, per say, it is the deepest and most introspective. Much of what is said here really fleshes out Yutaka's arrival into the Izumi household and Yui's constant visitations. Wonderful job here in this interaction.

Then we come to Kagami and Ayano. Ayano able to discern Kagami's motives and call her out on it was pretty harsh. Things seem to be improving for Kagami but I feel like it's a whole 'two steps forward, one step back' kind of deal. Meanwhile Tsukasa and Konata are moving forward at a dash in their relationship. I commend you for taking your time with Kagami. Depression is a very real thing and it is not something that can be conquered overnight. But it is beginning to get old. At this point of the story, you, as the author, are at a crossroads regarding Kagami's character. Either start making considerable effort in getting Kagami back to normal or take her character down a different path where Kagami is a different person because of her previous depression. I kind of have the feeling that you are somewhat hesistant to take this step but it needs to happen soon otherwise Kagami (and Misao by extension) become stagnant in their character progression and will be unappealing to read.

Overall this chapter is good overall. Wonderful interactions with Konata, Tsukasa, Yui and Sojiro with a meh interaction with Kuroi and a stagnant one between Kagami and Ayano.
12/11/2015 c44 wingsofseyfert12
Alot has happened these past two chapters and though I apologize for being scarce lately I'm actually happy that I read this when I did so I avoided the inevitable cliff hanger lol.

Yutaka being sick isn't all that surprising especially with that funny dream/vision of the Hiyoris'. That alone should have tipped her off that she was under the weather but thankfully she has Yui there to still keep tabs on her. Hopefully this sickness doesn't become more serious. However I have a feeling that this sickness could be the start of a major plot point. I'll wait and see if I'm right!

Konata not wanting to accept charity from either Ko or Hiyori was out of character at first. Normally Konata would not hesistate in taking advantage of her friends when she can (this is seen in the anime many times). Chapter 44 explains this change of behavior with Konata's dream. Very interesting dream. It's not often that authors tackle the subject of Konata's lack of work ethic and how that could affect her future. Believe me it's NOT fun living with your folks (or in-laws) and not contribute. Much props to Tadao though for holding down the fort and willing to let both Misao and Konata live with his family.

My favorite segment had to be the conversation Minami had with both Honoka and Yukari. I have to agree that the whole thing was rather petty, on all sides, but then again they're women so I'm not surprised. You do a great job expressing how a woman would react in these situations. I LOVE how Honoka put her foot down. Really Yukari on top? Psst. Get that out of here. From here on out I want Honoka to lay down the law when they continue to be intimate.

I still feel kind of sorry for Miyuki. She is going through all this stupid crap and has no partner of her own. Hopefully she can find someone even if it is a dude.

Overall great couple of chapters. The scenes with Honoka, Minami, Miyuki and Yukari were especially well done. Really makes me want to update "Impure Caresses" now and give Honoka a very big part.
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