for Lightning & Boomerang - The Bounty Hunters6/22/2014 c3 
15Seyary-Minamoto
Oh, gods, I laughed my butt off with the takesies-backsies! I swear a fic hadn't made me laugh this hard in some time! Good job with that xD I will say, the whole discusion and parting of the ways was just what I knew would happen with these two, foolish as they are. Sokka, really, you need to hold that tongue of yours once in a while...
Bogar is quite an interesting character, I'm intrigued over how the next chapter shall develop. Good luck with the next one, and keep up the hard work! :)
15Seyary-MinamotoOh, gods, I laughed my butt off with the takesies-backsies! I swear a fic hadn't made me laugh this hard in some time! Good job with that xD I will say, the whole discusion and parting of the ways was just what I knew would happen with these two, foolish as they are. Sokka, really, you need to hold that tongue of yours once in a while...
Bogar is quite an interesting character, I'm intrigued over how the next chapter shall develop. Good luck with the next one, and keep up the hard work! :)
6/21/2014 c3 Randomly Random Randomness
overall, I have liked this story and I like how long and interesting the chapters are. however, I feel you went overboard with explaining the background of Bogar. It is nice to know that a lot of work went into the character, and I applaud you for putting that much work into him. however, I feel that you did not need to show us all of it. While it seems like an interesting backstory, I feel it just bogged down the entire end of the chapter because it feels like a monologue.
So Thank you for the warning about the lengthy backstory, though I would suggest maybe making either a new story that would just contain the backstories in length or putting them on your profile page, while giving a quicker version in the story itself. I don't think it matters too much if you do that or not, as long as you continue to put a note that a chunk of the chapter is backstory before the reader is in the middle of it.
overall, I have liked this story and I like how long and interesting the chapters are. however, I feel you went overboard with explaining the background of Bogar. It is nice to know that a lot of work went into the character, and I applaud you for putting that much work into him. however, I feel that you did not need to show us all of it. While it seems like an interesting backstory, I feel it just bogged down the entire end of the chapter because it feels like a monologue.
So Thank you for the warning about the lengthy backstory, though I would suggest maybe making either a new story that would just contain the backstories in length or putting them on your profile page, while giving a quicker version in the story itself. I don't think it matters too much if you do that or not, as long as you continue to put a note that a chunk of the chapter is backstory before the reader is in the middle of it.
6/12/2014 c3 57cleopatra champagne
So, I'm really enjoying this story. There are a lot of typos - letters and punctuation marks, and words that sound the same (like "bored" and "board" for example). The writing is fluid, but there are minor grammatical errors here and there.
On to the plot! I think that this is very clever and creative. I also think the characters are as IC as they can be given the circumstances, which is good. The banter is great and I can hear it in the character's voices.
Keep going!
57cleopatra champagneSo, I'm really enjoying this story. There are a lot of typos - letters and punctuation marks, and words that sound the same (like "bored" and "board" for example). The writing is fluid, but there are minor grammatical errors here and there.
On to the plot! I think that this is very clever and creative. I also think the characters are as IC as they can be given the circumstances, which is good. The banter is great and I can hear it in the character's voices.
Keep going!
6/11/2014 c3 Meursault
It's spelled "you're." Please. It would really help.
And "he'd have" - not "he'd of."
It's spelled "you're." Please. It would really help.
And "he'd have" - not "he'd of."
5/27/2014 c1 vienx.001
i enjoy it..
really not much sokkla out there
and ones which are good are now seems abandoned.. T.T
well my hope for the story is there romance.. sokka x azula..
thanks and hope for update soon
i enjoy it..
really not much sokkla out there
and ones which are good are now seems abandoned.. T.T
well my hope for the story is there romance.. sokka x azula..
thanks and hope for update soon
5/26/2014 c2 Guest
Though there are few grammatical errors in this chapters, it's still a good chapter. Can't wait for the next one. Godspeed.
Though there are few grammatical errors in this chapters, it's still a good chapter. Can't wait for the next one. Godspeed.
5/26/2014 c2 8MadMeijin
Still loving it. They aren't too out of character, in fact I could see their interaction going quite like this. At any rate, it's a well written story, pleasantly paced, and fairly true to the characters themselves.
8MadMeijinStill loving it. They aren't too out of character, in fact I could see their interaction going quite like this. At any rate, it's a well written story, pleasantly paced, and fairly true to the characters themselves.
5/26/2014 c2 15Seyary-Minamoto
Another good chapter, one wouldn't know the hiking and description of the landscape was guesswork if you hadn't said it was unless one was knowledgeable about it (which I personally am not xD). Their bantering remains quite interesting to watch, and Sokka really never has known when to hold his tongue... if he manages not to land himself into some serious trouble with Azula on any of the next chapters, I'll be genuinely surprised. Great job again :) I look forward to more!
15Seyary-MinamotoAnother good chapter, one wouldn't know the hiking and description of the landscape was guesswork if you hadn't said it was unless one was knowledgeable about it (which I personally am not xD). Their bantering remains quite interesting to watch, and Sokka really never has known when to hold his tongue... if he manages not to land himself into some serious trouble with Azula on any of the next chapters, I'll be genuinely surprised. Great job again :) I look forward to more!
5/26/2014 c2 Guest
I think the bigger question is why a guy who spent half his life in a hunter gatherer society and the other half as a nomadic child soldier is apparently a mouth breathing moron with barely any survival skills in this story...your interpretation of sokkas abilities are flanderized to the point of painfulness
I think the bigger question is why a guy who spent half his life in a hunter gatherer society and the other half as a nomadic child soldier is apparently a mouth breathing moron with barely any survival skills in this story...your interpretation of sokkas abilities are flanderized to the point of painfulness
5/20/2014 c1 Seyary-Minamoto
I have always told you you're better at this than you think you are, and this completed first chapter of your promised fic is proof of it. You really don't give yourself enough credit, the dialogues you write are absolutely brilliant and your choice for wording is quite impressive as well :) I look forward to more chapters... and I shall wishfully hope (as Azula has kept hoping throughout this chapter) that we'll get to see some of Sokka dreaming of sweet, sweet Azula instead in one of the upcoming chapters...
I have always told you you're better at this than you think you are, and this completed first chapter of your promised fic is proof of it. You really don't give yourself enough credit, the dialogues you write are absolutely brilliant and your choice for wording is quite impressive as well :) I look forward to more chapters... and I shall wishfully hope (as Azula has kept hoping throughout this chapter) that we'll get to see some of Sokka dreaming of sweet, sweet Azula instead in one of the upcoming chapters...
5/20/2014 c1 8Fanwright
Very intriguing story! I like the idea of Azula and Sokka teaming up for…well, any reason really. They've got a lot of traits in common that other writers can really take advantage of, whether it be their wits, personality, or skill in combat. They also have the potential making comedic scenes really come to life just by their alone, as you have demonstrated. Humor at the expense of someone else can be a funny thing, and I feel you demonstrated that well as a writer by using Sokka's fear and annoyance of Azula. That is in character believe it or not, because in the show was a kind of the "punching bag" for everyone else's humorous benefit.
Writing can be a challenging task for any writer, and you're bound to hit snags along the way even as you write. However, practice makes for better writing and the only way to do that is to keep writing. I don't think any of us are expecting you to write "War and Peace" quality writing, but we as readers do appreciate effort. And effort is best shown for a writer through writing, so keep it up and you'll do fine.
I'm curious if you are planning to make this a narrative story or an episodic story, like a "bounty-of- the-week" kind of story where you can take submissions of OC characters as "bounties" for Sokka and Azula to hunt, just in case you run out of ideas for them. It's not my place to make suggestions to plot development as a reviewer, since that is the writer's task; just a curious question.
Anyway, good start to a story and hope to see more.
8FanwrightVery intriguing story! I like the idea of Azula and Sokka teaming up for…well, any reason really. They've got a lot of traits in common that other writers can really take advantage of, whether it be their wits, personality, or skill in combat. They also have the potential making comedic scenes really come to life just by their alone, as you have demonstrated. Humor at the expense of someone else can be a funny thing, and I feel you demonstrated that well as a writer by using Sokka's fear and annoyance of Azula. That is in character believe it or not, because in the show was a kind of the "punching bag" for everyone else's humorous benefit.
Writing can be a challenging task for any writer, and you're bound to hit snags along the way even as you write. However, practice makes for better writing and the only way to do that is to keep writing. I don't think any of us are expecting you to write "War and Peace" quality writing, but we as readers do appreciate effort. And effort is best shown for a writer through writing, so keep it up and you'll do fine.
I'm curious if you are planning to make this a narrative story or an episodic story, like a "bounty-of- the-week" kind of story where you can take submissions of OC characters as "bounties" for Sokka and Azula to hunt, just in case you run out of ideas for them. It's not my place to make suggestions to plot development as a reviewer, since that is the writer's task; just a curious question.
Anyway, good start to a story and hope to see more.
5/18/2014 c1 RickNash
Excellent! Don't lie, you have good writing skills and rich vocabulary! Keep it up!
Excellent! Don't lie, you have good writing skills and rich vocabulary! Keep it up!
5/18/2014 c1 POKESPE-FAN
I love the idea of putting Azula and Sokka in this situation! I can't wait for more :)
I love the idea of putting Azula and Sokka in this situation! I can't wait for more :)