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for The Consulting Criminal's Pressure Point

6/6/2014 c1 28GeorgyannWayson
Huh. I have never seen a story like this before. I know of a story with Moriarty having a daughter, but not a son. This was an interesting read; actually, I wouldn't mind seeing a tiny, like 3-5 chapter story expanding on this idea...but alas. I will take this.

Good job! Thank you for writing this!
6/6/2014 c1 138Golden Panther
This was a very intriguing, yet simple story that was thoroughly enjoyable.
Although I am canon blind, this doesn't change the fact that this is a well written story.
Your character development is simple, which is all that is needed here.
The dialogue, minimal as it is, is natural in flow.
My only major suggestion would be to add some description.
For example, when Andrew is at the hospital, describe the time of night, the condition of the buildings, give the reader something to look at. I would personify something, such as Moriarty's actions for example "as being beautifully sadistic"- describe Moriarty's movements a bit more. Bring out character emotion, describe a tear falling, or the weight of a scream, again, this is to make the reader look at something.
When I say "look at something" I simply mean describe it and only describe the things that are necessary to move the story along. Things like the weather, the time, the buildings, are all part of the setting and are important so describe them.
Overall though, good story that kept my interest, but it would benefit you greatly if you add description. (Gives a bit of life to the story, makes it move- think of what you would see if you were watching this on the show)
Good luck with this and all future endeavors.
5/23/2014 c1 CuriousCactus
This is really good :) I like the idea, although I do hope Moriarty is alive :)

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