5/28/2014 c4 buford12
You have the beginning's of a really good story here. The originality of of your premiss shows that you have a well developed imagination. Your writing is concise and flows well. The dialog between characters sounds natural, and your are taking the time and effort to show the characters motivations. All in all a very fine effort. Thank you for the entertainment. Yours Truly Buford
You have the beginning's of a really good story here. The originality of of your premiss shows that you have a well developed imagination. Your writing is concise and flows well. The dialog between characters sounds natural, and your are taking the time and effort to show the characters motivations. All in all a very fine effort. Thank you for the entertainment. Yours Truly Buford
5/25/2014 c3 adenoide
Harry has along way before to understand Leonard. If he speak with Leonard he will learn something.
Harry has along way before to understand Leonard. If he speak with Leonard he will learn something.
5/23/2014 c1 ResignedReader
It's alright so far although it's simpler not simplilar also when is your story taking place because all I know is that it's either the summer after 2nd year(unlikely) or after 5th year in which I guess Sirius is dead and for the record vampire is so overdone I mean really there are more creatures and beings than just that and werewolves really now, at least add a bit more variety, like the Seelie and Unseelie Courts, sprites, the Dökkálfar and Ljósálfar or dark and light elves, nymphs, Nāga, jinn, mermaid/merman, and far more than that without even throwing in the whole demon/angel thing which with how much variety there is for how a demon should/could be I mean really people can at least try writing a story with a different twist on it for a change.
It's alright so far although it's simpler not simplilar also when is your story taking place because all I know is that it's either the summer after 2nd year(unlikely) or after 5th year in which I guess Sirius is dead and for the record vampire is so overdone I mean really there are more creatures and beings than just that and werewolves really now, at least add a bit more variety, like the Seelie and Unseelie Courts, sprites, the Dökkálfar and Ljósálfar or dark and light elves, nymphs, Nāga, jinn, mermaid/merman, and far more than that without even throwing in the whole demon/angel thing which with how much variety there is for how a demon should/could be I mean really people can at least try writing a story with a different twist on it for a change.