
3/31/2021 c191
2afterados
Oh wow, Teddie using a shotgun? Hoo boy, that’s intense! Having said that, I think that parts of the start of this chapter could use a little tuning up. The very start, describing Teddie and how he’s cleaning up after the fight, is pretty great. It’s brief but detailed, and it gives a good description of how the fight was without us having seen it. But the section after it, describing how “The Shadows that they had been fighting had most likely either been defeated or driven off with heavy casualties…” feels too uncertain. There are several scenarios given, and all are perfectly viable, but the fact that the story doesn’t commit to one scenario leaves it feeling ambivalent, and rather anticlimactic as a result. Even the last sentence of the passage is “So, it probably didn’t matter,” which would make me, as an audience member, question why you mentioned those fights in the first place. In reality, I’m sure that you intended to show those fights in detail, but later decided not to - and that’s perfectly understandable. But I would dissuade you from framing the fights as unimportant, even if they were cut from the final product.
I had forgotten about Brianna! She’s a fun addition to this part of the story, and I appreciate that you showed how powerful she is by having her take out three Omega Franchise members all by herself (well, with her Persona too, but still!).
I also appreciate having her quickly join with the rest of the SoT to keep the pacing fast - though I do have an issue with the whole “trustworthiness” conversation around that. Similar to the trustworthiness conversation with Sho, I don’t mind having Brianna join, but the way it’s presented seems a bit odd to me. Having her trustworthiness questioned makes sense, but there doesn’t seem to be any stated explanation for why they accept her as trustworthy. Even just an explanation like “we need all the help we can get, and so we’ll take the gamble that she is trustworthy since we need more power” would go a long way for me. My issue is simply that they don’t give /any/ reason that I saw.
The last fight with Preston v. Sho was good! Nothing stood out as something I’d want to critique, and I like that you made sure to keep the details in the fight even though it was one of the shorter fights. Good stuff!

Oh wow, Teddie using a shotgun? Hoo boy, that’s intense! Having said that, I think that parts of the start of this chapter could use a little tuning up. The very start, describing Teddie and how he’s cleaning up after the fight, is pretty great. It’s brief but detailed, and it gives a good description of how the fight was without us having seen it. But the section after it, describing how “The Shadows that they had been fighting had most likely either been defeated or driven off with heavy casualties…” feels too uncertain. There are several scenarios given, and all are perfectly viable, but the fact that the story doesn’t commit to one scenario leaves it feeling ambivalent, and rather anticlimactic as a result. Even the last sentence of the passage is “So, it probably didn’t matter,” which would make me, as an audience member, question why you mentioned those fights in the first place. In reality, I’m sure that you intended to show those fights in detail, but later decided not to - and that’s perfectly understandable. But I would dissuade you from framing the fights as unimportant, even if they were cut from the final product.
I had forgotten about Brianna! She’s a fun addition to this part of the story, and I appreciate that you showed how powerful she is by having her take out three Omega Franchise members all by herself (well, with her Persona too, but still!).
I also appreciate having her quickly join with the rest of the SoT to keep the pacing fast - though I do have an issue with the whole “trustworthiness” conversation around that. Similar to the trustworthiness conversation with Sho, I don’t mind having Brianna join, but the way it’s presented seems a bit odd to me. Having her trustworthiness questioned makes sense, but there doesn’t seem to be any stated explanation for why they accept her as trustworthy. Even just an explanation like “we need all the help we can get, and so we’ll take the gamble that she is trustworthy since we need more power” would go a long way for me. My issue is simply that they don’t give /any/ reason that I saw.
The last fight with Preston v. Sho was good! Nothing stood out as something I’d want to critique, and I like that you made sure to keep the details in the fight even though it was one of the shorter fights. Good stuff!
3/17/2021 c190 afterados
I like the fight set up! Sending a few SoT members to deal with the Omega Franchise goons while the others deal with the army of Shadows makes sense, and I appreciate how you show a few individual interactions among the characters before you focus in on the bigger fights.
Ah, the invoker! I forgot about that, but I still love the idea so much. I also like the idea of what happens when an invoker is used on someone with a Persona - it makes sense that it would basically make them become a persona-Shadow hybrid. Haha, you gotta love Kei’s non-reaction to the transformation! You definitely nailed the beastial characteristics that Darnell got after firing the invoker at himself, using words like “roar” and “growl.”
Between Agidyne not working on Kei /and/ not working on Clyde, I vote for Agidyne as the least effective “-dyne” spell, haha!
Jokes aside, I liked both the Kei/Darnell and the Stephen/Clyde fights! I think they’re both ever-so-slightly close to being too similar to each other - both are fights where we have a "big bad" use an invoker to turn into a Shadow/persona hybrid and later get surprised at how strong Kei/Stephen are - but, all the fighters are different enough to give the passages enough variety to make these fights seem fresh.
Nice chapter, good work here!
I like the fight set up! Sending a few SoT members to deal with the Omega Franchise goons while the others deal with the army of Shadows makes sense, and I appreciate how you show a few individual interactions among the characters before you focus in on the bigger fights.
Ah, the invoker! I forgot about that, but I still love the idea so much. I also like the idea of what happens when an invoker is used on someone with a Persona - it makes sense that it would basically make them become a persona-Shadow hybrid. Haha, you gotta love Kei’s non-reaction to the transformation! You definitely nailed the beastial characteristics that Darnell got after firing the invoker at himself, using words like “roar” and “growl.”
Between Agidyne not working on Kei /and/ not working on Clyde, I vote for Agidyne as the least effective “-dyne” spell, haha!
Jokes aside, I liked both the Kei/Darnell and the Stephen/Clyde fights! I think they’re both ever-so-slightly close to being too similar to each other - both are fights where we have a "big bad" use an invoker to turn into a Shadow/persona hybrid and later get surprised at how strong Kei/Stephen are - but, all the fighters are different enough to give the passages enough variety to make these fights seem fresh.
Nice chapter, good work here!
3/8/2021 c189 afterados
The opening scene with Dylan and Yukiko is cute - I imagine it’s the last little bit of fluff we’ll get for a while, so I’m glad you put it in there.
When you have a second, I’d reread the section with Sho announcing that he’s a temporary ally of the SoT. To me, it feels like he never gives a good reason for the SoT to trust his word. It seems that the SoT are grilling him on if he can be trusted, but he doesn't seem to give them any details beyond saying “the crimson and velvet room have a truce,” and even though the SoT say they need more than his word… they eventually just do trust his word. I know that time is of the essence when they’re storming the gates of Mayonaka, but if they were going to trust him in the first place, I would assume they’d say that at the start, rather than making all that fuss only to trust him at his word after all. But again, what are your thoughts?
The battle with Chad was pretty sweet! It went on a little long in my opinion, and I think it got a bit repetitive by the end, but I really did like the extra details, and I thought it was great how you have the suspenseful line with “Chad went to punch Takeru” [paragraph break] “Only to punch through a window…” The use of the paragraph break was fantastic!
It makes sense that Dylan would be a bit wary of Sho, so I like how it’s specifically mentioned that Dylan’s keeping an eye on him.
I approve of the intros to our three new antagonists from the Omega Franchise, and the inevitable showdown that’ll happen in the coming chapters! Nice work!
The opening scene with Dylan and Yukiko is cute - I imagine it’s the last little bit of fluff we’ll get for a while, so I’m glad you put it in there.
When you have a second, I’d reread the section with Sho announcing that he’s a temporary ally of the SoT. To me, it feels like he never gives a good reason for the SoT to trust his word. It seems that the SoT are grilling him on if he can be trusted, but he doesn't seem to give them any details beyond saying “the crimson and velvet room have a truce,” and even though the SoT say they need more than his word… they eventually just do trust his word. I know that time is of the essence when they’re storming the gates of Mayonaka, but if they were going to trust him in the first place, I would assume they’d say that at the start, rather than making all that fuss only to trust him at his word after all. But again, what are your thoughts?
The battle with Chad was pretty sweet! It went on a little long in my opinion, and I think it got a bit repetitive by the end, but I really did like the extra details, and I thought it was great how you have the suspenseful line with “Chad went to punch Takeru” [paragraph break] “Only to punch through a window…” The use of the paragraph break was fantastic!
It makes sense that Dylan would be a bit wary of Sho, so I like how it’s specifically mentioned that Dylan’s keeping an eye on him.
I approve of the intros to our three new antagonists from the Omega Franchise, and the inevitable showdown that’ll happen in the coming chapters! Nice work!
3/8/2021 c188 afterados
I like the different factions that you’ve introduced here - I love how they all intersect, with things like the Crimson and Velvet rooms teaming up, and the new threat that might even rival (or overshadow) Oumagatsu in power! Really cool, especially since Oumagatsu seems to be acknowledging the possibility (of Imperius being just as him) to a certain degree.
Also interesting that Oumagatsu’s return could have something to do with Yu being sent back through time. Definitely makes sense that there could be some butterfly effect changes going on, since this story is /very/ different from vanilla P4! If Oumagatsu does move as soon as the next day, the Investigation Team definitely have their work cut out for them - trying to go all the way to the temple of calamity in a day will be intense.
Oh dang, and there he is! Imperius himself! Great intro to this new threat, and great design as always. Can’t wait to see how Imperius’ plans start to interfere with everyone else’s. Nice work!
I like the different factions that you’ve introduced here - I love how they all intersect, with things like the Crimson and Velvet rooms teaming up, and the new threat that might even rival (or overshadow) Oumagatsu in power! Really cool, especially since Oumagatsu seems to be acknowledging the possibility (of Imperius being just as him) to a certain degree.
Also interesting that Oumagatsu’s return could have something to do with Yu being sent back through time. Definitely makes sense that there could be some butterfly effect changes going on, since this story is /very/ different from vanilla P4! If Oumagatsu does move as soon as the next day, the Investigation Team definitely have their work cut out for them - trying to go all the way to the temple of calamity in a day will be intense.
Oh dang, and there he is! Imperius himself! Great intro to this new threat, and great design as always. Can’t wait to see how Imperius’ plans start to interfere with everyone else’s. Nice work!
2/22/2021 c187 afterados
And here’s the meeting between the Crimson and Velvet room! Good job in this scene, everyone’s motivations make sense, and it’s important that you show both groups creating terms and coming to an agreement.
You know the drill for my general opinion on all the murder and whatnot, so I’ll skip that bit. My bias aside, great fight scene! The details you put in are really well written, and you nailed the balance of including enough details to keep me interested, but also knowing when a good stopping point is. Then, you also gave a reason why Mitsuo was able to take such a beating and remain standing (Oumagatsu’s influence), and then you ended it with the introduction of Dylan’s Mom as an antagonist, as well as showing a little development by NOT killing Mitsuo this time. (Although that is somewhat reduced by the fact that he killed a lot of other people anyways, but still.) Seriously, great job in my book!
Could you explain why Oumagatsu says he’s being crooked by giving Mitsuo the same power as Spitz? I /do/ understand why giving Mitsuo a power boost would be wise for Oumagatsu, I’m just not understanding why giving him the same power as Spitz is crooked.
The poor Yasoinaba jail… that place must be just PACKED nowadays! But also, cute final scene with Yu and Dojima.
Nice work with this chapter!
And here’s the meeting between the Crimson and Velvet room! Good job in this scene, everyone’s motivations make sense, and it’s important that you show both groups creating terms and coming to an agreement.
You know the drill for my general opinion on all the murder and whatnot, so I’ll skip that bit. My bias aside, great fight scene! The details you put in are really well written, and you nailed the balance of including enough details to keep me interested, but also knowing when a good stopping point is. Then, you also gave a reason why Mitsuo was able to take such a beating and remain standing (Oumagatsu’s influence), and then you ended it with the introduction of Dylan’s Mom as an antagonist, as well as showing a little development by NOT killing Mitsuo this time. (Although that is somewhat reduced by the fact that he killed a lot of other people anyways, but still.) Seriously, great job in my book!
Could you explain why Oumagatsu says he’s being crooked by giving Mitsuo the same power as Spitz? I /do/ understand why giving Mitsuo a power boost would be wise for Oumagatsu, I’m just not understanding why giving him the same power as Spitz is crooked.
The poor Yasoinaba jail… that place must be just PACKED nowadays! But also, cute final scene with Yu and Dojima.
Nice work with this chapter!
1/11/2021 c186 afterados
I know it's been a while, but I'm back with a review! Apologies for the huge delay here.
Oumagatsu un-aging Miranda to her late teens is interesting. I assume it’s done to make sure she’s physically fit so she can fight well against the SoT, is that right?
Is Oumagatsu controlling Miranda and Saki’s personalities at all? I’m surprised that they would so quickly go back on their morals to this degree, though I suppose the imminent threat of a second death might do that to you.
Oh snap, a Crimson Room/Velvet Room meeting! That’s a good idea! I love that the very imminent threat of Oumagatsu would make these two groups (velvet/crimson room) put aside their differences (even if it’s temporary) in order to just survive.
The Dylan/Yu fight scene was pretty good too! I personally like the lack of gore, the fast pace, and the details you added instead of the gore.
Spitz fight scene was good too. It definitely was pretty heavy on the grotesque murder, but it also made sense for what a... er, “normal” psycho would do, let’s say.
Interesting to see Dojima and Mitch discuss letting Yu and that crew handle this - they HAVE been at the forefront of all these cases over the past 10 months, so it makes sense!
Nice work this chapter!
I know it's been a while, but I'm back with a review! Apologies for the huge delay here.
Oumagatsu un-aging Miranda to her late teens is interesting. I assume it’s done to make sure she’s physically fit so she can fight well against the SoT, is that right?
Is Oumagatsu controlling Miranda and Saki’s personalities at all? I’m surprised that they would so quickly go back on their morals to this degree, though I suppose the imminent threat of a second death might do that to you.
Oh snap, a Crimson Room/Velvet Room meeting! That’s a good idea! I love that the very imminent threat of Oumagatsu would make these two groups (velvet/crimson room) put aside their differences (even if it’s temporary) in order to just survive.
The Dylan/Yu fight scene was pretty good too! I personally like the lack of gore, the fast pace, and the details you added instead of the gore.
Spitz fight scene was good too. It definitely was pretty heavy on the grotesque murder, but it also made sense for what a... er, “normal” psycho would do, let’s say.
Interesting to see Dojima and Mitch discuss letting Yu and that crew handle this - they HAVE been at the forefront of all these cases over the past 10 months, so it makes sense!
Nice work this chapter!
1/4/2021 c1 Guest
I actually kinda liked this until you introduced Minato, he's easily my most hated character in Persona series.
I actually kinda liked this until you introduced Minato, he's easily my most hated character in Persona series.
1/4/2021 c1 Guest
Honestly this was going good until I see Minato in it, yuck! He's definitely my most hated Persona character.
Honestly this was going good until I see Minato in it, yuck! He's definitely my most hated Persona character.
1/3/2021 c205 RosyMiranto18
So… you have a writer’s block, I see. I didn’t know if it’s for the next Epilogue chapters or the Sequels of Arena and possibly P5. So… just take a break man, I don’t car how long you take to get your ideas back, but it’s better to think anything through. And hm… can I allowed to guess what other projects you talk about? My bet is either some kind of Prequel or Spinoff (I have no idea for about who though), or another Lemon Chapter. Which one is correct? Either way, let’s just go to the chapter and end this.
1. So… why did you cut your hair, Yuu?
2. Wait, SEPTEMBER?! I thought the Epilogue of Persona 4 happened in August, early August. So what busines did he have in September… in the middle of a school week.
3. Oh, I’m surprised you’re not a part of the Surprise Party Committee, Dylan. Why not wait until Junes? *facepalm* And then you spoiled it…
4. Is Teddie and Roz came in the same flight with the Three Stooges, right? I imagine they are all flown in from New York.
5. Question, where the others are hiding specifically?
6. I’m surprise you can go to Inaba before Yuu without making him feel like there’s something’s up, Marie.
7. So… who is that person responsible, Doujima? I’m curious.
8. Sometimes I forgot that Chase is dating Mina… but “Again”? Did you have any dead nephew/niece I didn’t know of?
And alright, so there’s still earlier chapters to edit as well. I understand. Anyway, I think that’s it for now. I think I’m quite tired, in need of a break, so See You Later and Keep Update!
So… you have a writer’s block, I see. I didn’t know if it’s for the next Epilogue chapters or the Sequels of Arena and possibly P5. So… just take a break man, I don’t car how long you take to get your ideas back, but it’s better to think anything through. And hm… can I allowed to guess what other projects you talk about? My bet is either some kind of Prequel or Spinoff (I have no idea for about who though), or another Lemon Chapter. Which one is correct? Either way, let’s just go to the chapter and end this.
1. So… why did you cut your hair, Yuu?
2. Wait, SEPTEMBER?! I thought the Epilogue of Persona 4 happened in August, early August. So what busines did he have in September… in the middle of a school week.
3. Oh, I’m surprised you’re not a part of the Surprise Party Committee, Dylan. Why not wait until Junes? *facepalm* And then you spoiled it…
4. Is Teddie and Roz came in the same flight with the Three Stooges, right? I imagine they are all flown in from New York.
5. Question, where the others are hiding specifically?
6. I’m surprise you can go to Inaba before Yuu without making him feel like there’s something’s up, Marie.
7. So… who is that person responsible, Doujima? I’m curious.
8. Sometimes I forgot that Chase is dating Mina… but “Again”? Did you have any dead nephew/niece I didn’t know of?
And alright, so there’s still earlier chapters to edit as well. I understand. Anyway, I think that’s it for now. I think I’m quite tired, in need of a break, so See You Later and Keep Update!
12/5/2020 c204 RosyMiranto18
Okay, I’m very tired from my mom’s friend’s daughter’s wedding, and with the not satisfying food, going across the whole city for that, and get soaked entirely on the way back. As well as me already planning to continue my usual Tracks in Sunday, I’m not too happy. Oh well, I guess time to just move on and finish this chapter, shall we?
1. I guess what you meant by the next “Numbered Chapters” are either Epilogues and Codas, or the Arena Arc. Right?
2. I can see the Three Stooges leaving, but surprised that Teddie wants to follow Roz to the Big Apple. Hope you found that the apple’s delicious though :D
3. I thought Kou’s birth parents already deceased, but I can be entirely wrong.
4. Speaking of which, we never even see that Husband of Eri anywhere? I feel that this part should be addressed on-screen to me, at least him accompanying Eri to see Yuu off.
5. Also, where’s Eddie though? (Pun to GTA’s Eddie Toh? Hm…)
6. So… you’re accompanying Rise as what now, Steve? Her manager? Her Accompanying Band?
7. Even with Chase and Robert, the SoT are indeed your true Family, Dylan.
8. I mean other than the previous timeline, is there instances where Yuu unable to return to Tokyo, dead or alive?
9. Wait, if you’re really a Goddess, Marie, can you really able to get out of Inaba? Not stuck there?
And that’s it for now. Better go to the next track for me. See you later and Keep Update
Okay, I’m very tired from my mom’s friend’s daughter’s wedding, and with the not satisfying food, going across the whole city for that, and get soaked entirely on the way back. As well as me already planning to continue my usual Tracks in Sunday, I’m not too happy. Oh well, I guess time to just move on and finish this chapter, shall we?
1. I guess what you meant by the next “Numbered Chapters” are either Epilogues and Codas, or the Arena Arc. Right?
2. I can see the Three Stooges leaving, but surprised that Teddie wants to follow Roz to the Big Apple. Hope you found that the apple’s delicious though :D
3. I thought Kou’s birth parents already deceased, but I can be entirely wrong.
4. Speaking of which, we never even see that Husband of Eri anywhere? I feel that this part should be addressed on-screen to me, at least him accompanying Eri to see Yuu off.
5. Also, where’s Eddie though? (Pun to GTA’s Eddie Toh? Hm…)
6. So… you’re accompanying Rise as what now, Steve? Her manager? Her Accompanying Band?
7. Even with Chase and Robert, the SoT are indeed your true Family, Dylan.
8. I mean other than the previous timeline, is there instances where Yuu unable to return to Tokyo, dead or alive?
9. Wait, if you’re really a Goddess, Marie, can you really able to get out of Inaba? Not stuck there?
And that’s it for now. Better go to the next track for me. See you later and Keep Update
11/27/2020 c203 RosyMiranto18
Alright, this is a start of a new book. The bad news is, I’m just gonna be returning from my hometown because of my aunt’s funeral, so I don’t have much time. But the good news is, this chapter is really short, so thank you. Anyway, let’s just get to it then. Though I guess you are too cautious yet also too risky on different stuff to handle in this fic, right?
1. Wait, if the answer to “Bring Them Back” is not Myriad of Truths nor Izanami’s defeat, then what is it?
2. Is that Crystal the Orb of Sight or something else? If it’s something else, then where did he get it?
3. I guess nobody wanted to talk about whatever happened to them after Thousand Curses took them.
4. That’s it? Izanami as her Persona? No change in name, even to Izanami no Mikoto? *pause* Okay, that’s good.
5. Is Junes really closed there or something? If there’s literally nobody is there.
And I guess the next chapters will be quite short as well, so see you later and Keep Update!
Alright, this is a start of a new book. The bad news is, I’m just gonna be returning from my hometown because of my aunt’s funeral, so I don’t have much time. But the good news is, this chapter is really short, so thank you. Anyway, let’s just get to it then. Though I guess you are too cautious yet also too risky on different stuff to handle in this fic, right?
1. Wait, if the answer to “Bring Them Back” is not Myriad of Truths nor Izanami’s defeat, then what is it?
2. Is that Crystal the Orb of Sight or something else? If it’s something else, then where did he get it?
3. I guess nobody wanted to talk about whatever happened to them after Thousand Curses took them.
4. That’s it? Izanami as her Persona? No change in name, even to Izanami no Mikoto? *pause* Okay, that’s good.
5. Is Junes really closed there or something? If there’s literally nobody is there.
And I guess the next chapters will be quite short as well, so see you later and Keep Update!
11/22/2020 c202 RosyMiranto18
And I thought I have no fic to review admist my venture to deliver my CV across town. Well… anyway, since you said that its your 200th chapter, it’s also marked the start of the Third Book of our Archive, as well as the 41st chapter I review. So, let’s just get to it… though if there’s no actual fireworks showing up upon Quintessus’ defeat, I will be disappointed.
1a. Wait, Diego is dismissed twice (I forgot the word dismissed honestly, sighs)? And Dylan had one of the dismiss?
b. If Yuu died instead of Dylan back there, then I don’t think that original Dylan is going to get sent back like Yuu did.
c. Who did what to the current Dylan when he was 7? Joshua and Alex?
d. One Piece as in Quintessus can take over Dylan as long as Dylan’s dead regardless if Dylan got obliterated into dust?
2a. I only find the Full Version of Fly. Is it okay? Good song though.
b. You want to make it official to be called Paradigm Shift after this, Dylan?
c. Wait, where did you holster that axe again?
3a. What element Dylan is weak to again? Because I’m not sure if it’s fire, and if that fire’s THAT hurt.
b. You know you can just shield yourself with Surt and let the fire absorb you, right?
c. Dylan, Elec Amp is a Passive, not a Manual Buff.
d. So… Second Skin is just a Diarahan basically?
e. Maybe that part where Nari hits the ice so many times can be an upgrade of Fimbulwinter.
f. Bye Morgana, back to the Velvet Room you go.
4a. You think Quintessus will get along with the usual Shadow Dylan though?
b. Not Morning Star, Dylan?
c. *spamming Arc Slashes like no end*, yeah… a Delaying Tactic indeed.
d. I mean what is this? Thousand Curses knockoff?
e. Where did that blue light come from? The Papillon Heart?
5a. Picaro, eh? Hahahaha… Dylan for Persona 5 Sequel confirmed then.
b. So, is the Blue Light “I am the Storm that is Approaching, Provoking Black Clouds in isolation”
c. What Dirty Tricks? I didn’t see anything there.
d. Wait, what the FUCK?! Dylan has BOTH Nari and Picaro?! Much less summoning both of them at once without being a Vessel of Nyx?! I thought Nari evolved into Picaro so how does this thing possible!
e. So I guess the Guillotine doesn’t work this time.
And… I think that’s it for now. Well, see you again later and Keep Update.
And I thought I have no fic to review admist my venture to deliver my CV across town. Well… anyway, since you said that its your 200th chapter, it’s also marked the start of the Third Book of our Archive, as well as the 41st chapter I review. So, let’s just get to it… though if there’s no actual fireworks showing up upon Quintessus’ defeat, I will be disappointed.
1a. Wait, Diego is dismissed twice (I forgot the word dismissed honestly, sighs)? And Dylan had one of the dismiss?
b. If Yuu died instead of Dylan back there, then I don’t think that original Dylan is going to get sent back like Yuu did.
c. Who did what to the current Dylan when he was 7? Joshua and Alex?
d. One Piece as in Quintessus can take over Dylan as long as Dylan’s dead regardless if Dylan got obliterated into dust?
2a. I only find the Full Version of Fly. Is it okay? Good song though.
b. You want to make it official to be called Paradigm Shift after this, Dylan?
c. Wait, where did you holster that axe again?
3a. What element Dylan is weak to again? Because I’m not sure if it’s fire, and if that fire’s THAT hurt.
b. You know you can just shield yourself with Surt and let the fire absorb you, right?
c. Dylan, Elec Amp is a Passive, not a Manual Buff.
d. So… Second Skin is just a Diarahan basically?
e. Maybe that part where Nari hits the ice so many times can be an upgrade of Fimbulwinter.
f. Bye Morgana, back to the Velvet Room you go.
4a. You think Quintessus will get along with the usual Shadow Dylan though?
b. Not Morning Star, Dylan?
c. *spamming Arc Slashes like no end*, yeah… a Delaying Tactic indeed.
d. I mean what is this? Thousand Curses knockoff?
e. Where did that blue light come from? The Papillon Heart?
5a. Picaro, eh? Hahahaha… Dylan for Persona 5 Sequel confirmed then.
b. So, is the Blue Light “I am the Storm that is Approaching, Provoking Black Clouds in isolation”
c. What Dirty Tricks? I didn’t see anything there.
d. Wait, what the FUCK?! Dylan has BOTH Nari and Picaro?! Much less summoning both of them at once without being a Vessel of Nyx?! I thought Nari evolved into Picaro so how does this thing possible!
e. So I guess the Guillotine doesn’t work this time.
And… I think that’s it for now. Well, see you again later and Keep Update.
10/1/2020 c201 RosyMiranto18
Honestly, I’m a bit tired right now, plus I need to have a Friday Sholat in a couple of hours, so excuse me if I make it quick. I’m very glad that this chapter is quite short though, so thanks, and let’s just get to it.
1a. So… why there’s Card Soldiers like it’s Alice in Wonderland? I know this is Casino-themed, but...
b. Are all Shadows in this Dungeon golden?
c. I don’t think Quintessus will care about you as long as you don’t directly intervene, Morgana.
d. Speaking of Phantom Thieves, did you ever be a part of another Phantom Thieves Team before the P5 Thieves?
2a. Albart the Sword Saint? Why did I feel that you’re gonna fight like Isshin from Sekiro (in other words, also cheated with spear, guns, and lightning)?
b. One of the swords? How many swords did Albart has?
c. *checking* Ky Kiske’s theme? That means this is a more Western Sword duel not an Eastern one.
d. Also, what is Noli Me Tangere mean? I can’t find it anywhere. *checking* Latin for Touch Me Not, and it’s a Filipino Novel of the Colonization of Philippines by Spain.
e. I’m sure that Morgana can smile wide there.
f. Odi et Amo, a line from poem Catullus 85, which means “I Hate and I Love”. And a HP-draining physical attack? Interesting idea, I never think of it.
g. Non Nocere… Do No Harm? What it has to do with this skill? A Counter? I gues I’m right. But I thought he’s immune to Physical before, but I guess it might just the effect of Noli Me Tangere.
3a. At least Albardt doesn’t do a Reverse Vore like Isshin, Dylan. You’re lucky.
b. I agree. He should have use multiple massive swords like Final Fantasy Gilgamesh instead of just one.
c. I think that Phrase means “Death is Certain, Time is Uncertain” Huh, only a limited time to beat him before you are dead as well. Interesting.
d. Nemo Ante Mortem Beatus, “Nobody is blessed before his death. We never know what is future preparing for us!” It’s getting harder to guess, isn’t it?
e. I start to think that Albardt is a Crusader like Bred Boys.
4a. I mean why would Quintessus want to intervene at Rathion’s place anyway.
b. Well, that’s a fair point, Rathion. *pause* And… that’s it. The boss fight is skipped. But is Quintessus absorbing anyone he swallowed as well as their strength? Because why else he decided to eat him?
Well, glad that you decided to cut it out because I’m tired as well. So good luck on flesh out the big fight even more. Anyway, I think that’s all for now. See you later and keep update.
Honestly, I’m a bit tired right now, plus I need to have a Friday Sholat in a couple of hours, so excuse me if I make it quick. I’m very glad that this chapter is quite short though, so thanks, and let’s just get to it.
1a. So… why there’s Card Soldiers like it’s Alice in Wonderland? I know this is Casino-themed, but...
b. Are all Shadows in this Dungeon golden?
c. I don’t think Quintessus will care about you as long as you don’t directly intervene, Morgana.
d. Speaking of Phantom Thieves, did you ever be a part of another Phantom Thieves Team before the P5 Thieves?
2a. Albart the Sword Saint? Why did I feel that you’re gonna fight like Isshin from Sekiro (in other words, also cheated with spear, guns, and lightning)?
b. One of the swords? How many swords did Albart has?
c. *checking* Ky Kiske’s theme? That means this is a more Western Sword duel not an Eastern one.
d. Also, what is Noli Me Tangere mean? I can’t find it anywhere. *checking* Latin for Touch Me Not, and it’s a Filipino Novel of the Colonization of Philippines by Spain.
e. I’m sure that Morgana can smile wide there.
f. Odi et Amo, a line from poem Catullus 85, which means “I Hate and I Love”. And a HP-draining physical attack? Interesting idea, I never think of it.
g. Non Nocere… Do No Harm? What it has to do with this skill? A Counter? I gues I’m right. But I thought he’s immune to Physical before, but I guess it might just the effect of Noli Me Tangere.
3a. At least Albardt doesn’t do a Reverse Vore like Isshin, Dylan. You’re lucky.
b. I agree. He should have use multiple massive swords like Final Fantasy Gilgamesh instead of just one.
c. I think that Phrase means “Death is Certain, Time is Uncertain” Huh, only a limited time to beat him before you are dead as well. Interesting.
d. Nemo Ante Mortem Beatus, “Nobody is blessed before his death. We never know what is future preparing for us!” It’s getting harder to guess, isn’t it?
e. I start to think that Albardt is a Crusader like Bred Boys.
4a. I mean why would Quintessus want to intervene at Rathion’s place anyway.
b. Well, that’s a fair point, Rathion. *pause* And… that’s it. The boss fight is skipped. But is Quintessus absorbing anyone he swallowed as well as their strength? Because why else he decided to eat him?
Well, glad that you decided to cut it out because I’m tired as well. So good luck on flesh out the big fight even more. Anyway, I think that’s all for now. See you later and keep update.
9/2/2020 c200 RosyMiranto18
Alright, for some reason, I almost forgot what this chapter is meant to be. Still, it’s now good enough for me to continue even though, well, chapters of this fic are usually one that don’t come with warning. As for whether this will be two or three parts, we’ll see. Don’t force yourself about it. Although, whether if there’s any inconsistencies, either I might point it out immediately or I already forgot like most of the details in this fic. Okay then, time to start the review now:
1a. Really? Even after an entire universe collapse, Shadow Dylan from that place remains? Maybe it has something to do with the Future Dylan is still around somewhere… though speaking of which, I don’t know if I have asked this before, but did the original Future Dylan still exist.
b. And… what kind of issues it is then, if even he can’t solve it when his sire can.
c. So he only succeeded if he managed to possess this Dylan somehow? Somehow, I think it’s a very far fetch to actually work, especially with how Dylan has changed now.
d. Uh… what Quintessus means again? Is it having something to do with Five?
e. Also, how did this Golden Palace shown up twice? Is this because one is this Dylan’s Shadow while the other is the Original Timeline’s Shadow
2a. Hm… in terms of the application of gold, which one you think is worse, Mona? This or Madarame’s Palace?
b. I mean while I can see that some Dungeons may have some traits of the more elaborate and detailed Palace, but them actually mixing up? Yeah, that’s actually impossible.
c. What if there’s not even any treasure exist there then, Morgana?
3a. I actually am fine if Dylan at least dressed up for the beach, but yeah, thank god he’s not naked again.
b. Hey, Ryouji, but no idea to get yourself a new outfit?
c. Are all Dead? I thought this is a part of Mayonaka/Metaverse, which makes them Cognitions, which means they’re not exist, they’re not real, not they’re dead. Unless if this is a different place like the actual afterlife. *pause* Wait, if not Afterlife, then is it Sea of Souls? Shadow Realm?
d. Sorry, Dylan, the keyword is to follow Dimitri “Is this some kind of twisted joke?!”
4a. Oh, it’s the Moiraes again. Hello, at least your way of dressing feels more in line with your reputation compared to the IDBH version :D
b. So if some things are beyond your control, did you at least know how did that happen, the Fates?
c. Yes, that’s even more delusional, but that still doesn’t explain what Quintessus means exactly.
d. One, Benj, you’re representing which Mythology of Death (like Yama or Hel), or which specific circumstances of Death (like Thanatos and Ker)? Also, weird that someone called Death has Bright in their name.
e. Is the Edmund Llewellyn part a sarcasm or… I’m worried now.
5a. You know, instead of just adding “Redux” on the name, I feel that changing the name to something like Aurelius Palace feels better to me.
b. Quintessus wanted to possess Dylan, but the question is doing he need to possess that whilst Dylan is still alive or after Dylan is dead? Doing the wrong thing might make the possession just didn’t work at all.
c. And now I’m still wondering why did Igor still create Morgana FOUR YEARS before P5. At least in IDBH, Morgana exist only several months before P5 since that one is moved earlier to 2012.
d. Speaking of Teammates, damnit, I was thinking that Ryouji would also join in as well.
e. *spittake* DIEGO?! Wait, what?! Okay, I think I’m really trigged with this one. How did Morgana get Don Diego de la Vega first and not Zorro?!
6a. Guard, if you include yourself, shouldn’t you, you know, engage the intruders instead of wasting your time reporting.
b. Oh, I didn’t expect Izanami to be here. I didn’t expect that she wants Dylan to fail THAT much. Even Yuu didn’t get as bad as this. *pause* Wait, I forgot that she’s corrupted in comparison to her Canon self *facepalm*
c. I mean that’s the point, Morgana, Dylan wants the Bounty aimed at him.
d. You think those Shadows are all too weak though, Dylan?
7a. I admit that’s a bit more creative than the overused and unfit Shitennou, but where did these names come from? Also, I don’t see any actual reason of who Forlo came from or why did he exist? Like even if he’s a Cognition for Quintesssus’ representation of Stephen and the Three Stooges.
b. As for the song… uh… let’s just say that it’s weird. I feel that it’s hard to take him seriously now. I don’t even know how did you find this.
c. Dummy Bullet? Really? What’s with these joker-sounding names?
d. Desperation Moves? What is this? Kingdom Hearts Data Fights?
8a. Wait, you can ride on the roof of the Mona Bus? I thought Morgana can’t drive itself. Also, no surprise?
b. An 1v1? Alright. Also, at least the song feels good this time, that feels like a Terminator stuff.
c. It feels like my guess of Quintessus’ cognition of Stephen and the Three Stooges is correct.
d. What? He’s a robot, of course he speaks the same speech all the time.
e. Wait, Frolo is 4th Floor, Egil is 6th Floor, shouldn’t the other Pillars be at 8th and 10th floor while Quintesus is at the 12th Floor?
And… I think that’s it. There’s nothing else I can say about this honestly, so let’s just take a break. See you later and Keep Update!
P.S.: I feel that this place NEEDS a Dungeon Theme, but after a while to think of something that has a relation to something golden, I eventually choose this. Any other suggestion though?: youtu . be/sta_Lb5sx64
Alright, for some reason, I almost forgot what this chapter is meant to be. Still, it’s now good enough for me to continue even though, well, chapters of this fic are usually one that don’t come with warning. As for whether this will be two or three parts, we’ll see. Don’t force yourself about it. Although, whether if there’s any inconsistencies, either I might point it out immediately or I already forgot like most of the details in this fic. Okay then, time to start the review now:
1a. Really? Even after an entire universe collapse, Shadow Dylan from that place remains? Maybe it has something to do with the Future Dylan is still around somewhere… though speaking of which, I don’t know if I have asked this before, but did the original Future Dylan still exist.
b. And… what kind of issues it is then, if even he can’t solve it when his sire can.
c. So he only succeeded if he managed to possess this Dylan somehow? Somehow, I think it’s a very far fetch to actually work, especially with how Dylan has changed now.
d. Uh… what Quintessus means again? Is it having something to do with Five?
e. Also, how did this Golden Palace shown up twice? Is this because one is this Dylan’s Shadow while the other is the Original Timeline’s Shadow
2a. Hm… in terms of the application of gold, which one you think is worse, Mona? This or Madarame’s Palace?
b. I mean while I can see that some Dungeons may have some traits of the more elaborate and detailed Palace, but them actually mixing up? Yeah, that’s actually impossible.
c. What if there’s not even any treasure exist there then, Morgana?
3a. I actually am fine if Dylan at least dressed up for the beach, but yeah, thank god he’s not naked again.
b. Hey, Ryouji, but no idea to get yourself a new outfit?
c. Are all Dead? I thought this is a part of Mayonaka/Metaverse, which makes them Cognitions, which means they’re not exist, they’re not real, not they’re dead. Unless if this is a different place like the actual afterlife. *pause* Wait, if not Afterlife, then is it Sea of Souls? Shadow Realm?
d. Sorry, Dylan, the keyword is to follow Dimitri “Is this some kind of twisted joke?!”
4a. Oh, it’s the Moiraes again. Hello, at least your way of dressing feels more in line with your reputation compared to the IDBH version :D
b. So if some things are beyond your control, did you at least know how did that happen, the Fates?
c. Yes, that’s even more delusional, but that still doesn’t explain what Quintessus means exactly.
d. One, Benj, you’re representing which Mythology of Death (like Yama or Hel), or which specific circumstances of Death (like Thanatos and Ker)? Also, weird that someone called Death has Bright in their name.
e. Is the Edmund Llewellyn part a sarcasm or… I’m worried now.
5a. You know, instead of just adding “Redux” on the name, I feel that changing the name to something like Aurelius Palace feels better to me.
b. Quintessus wanted to possess Dylan, but the question is doing he need to possess that whilst Dylan is still alive or after Dylan is dead? Doing the wrong thing might make the possession just didn’t work at all.
c. And now I’m still wondering why did Igor still create Morgana FOUR YEARS before P5. At least in IDBH, Morgana exist only several months before P5 since that one is moved earlier to 2012.
d. Speaking of Teammates, damnit, I was thinking that Ryouji would also join in as well.
e. *spittake* DIEGO?! Wait, what?! Okay, I think I’m really trigged with this one. How did Morgana get Don Diego de la Vega first and not Zorro?!
6a. Guard, if you include yourself, shouldn’t you, you know, engage the intruders instead of wasting your time reporting.
b. Oh, I didn’t expect Izanami to be here. I didn’t expect that she wants Dylan to fail THAT much. Even Yuu didn’t get as bad as this. *pause* Wait, I forgot that she’s corrupted in comparison to her Canon self *facepalm*
c. I mean that’s the point, Morgana, Dylan wants the Bounty aimed at him.
d. You think those Shadows are all too weak though, Dylan?
7a. I admit that’s a bit more creative than the overused and unfit Shitennou, but where did these names come from? Also, I don’t see any actual reason of who Forlo came from or why did he exist? Like even if he’s a Cognition for Quintesssus’ representation of Stephen and the Three Stooges.
b. As for the song… uh… let’s just say that it’s weird. I feel that it’s hard to take him seriously now. I don’t even know how did you find this.
c. Dummy Bullet? Really? What’s with these joker-sounding names?
d. Desperation Moves? What is this? Kingdom Hearts Data Fights?
8a. Wait, you can ride on the roof of the Mona Bus? I thought Morgana can’t drive itself. Also, no surprise?
b. An 1v1? Alright. Also, at least the song feels good this time, that feels like a Terminator stuff.
c. It feels like my guess of Quintessus’ cognition of Stephen and the Three Stooges is correct.
d. What? He’s a robot, of course he speaks the same speech all the time.
e. Wait, Frolo is 4th Floor, Egil is 6th Floor, shouldn’t the other Pillars be at 8th and 10th floor while Quintesus is at the 12th Floor?
And… I think that’s it. There’s nothing else I can say about this honestly, so let’s just take a break. See you later and Keep Update!
P.S.: I feel that this place NEEDS a Dungeon Theme, but after a while to think of something that has a relation to something golden, I eventually choose this. Any other suggestion though?: youtu . be/sta_Lb5sx64
6/18/2020 c199 RosyMiranto18
I agree that your idea of Yuu refusing the Lotus Eater Machine this time is an original one, but that question on how or why did he still end up at Margaret’s Arena regardless of accepting or rejecting that offer. Anyway, I think that’s all for the Intro, let’s go to the chapter.
1a. Just in case, the game version says that it’s on a Nighttime Version of Heaven. The question is, is the Anime and this fic’s version of that place is not the same place?
b. I didn’t know Yuu get various Tests and Trials here like Charles did in IDBH. Or is it a different thing?
c. Good to know that this fight’s condition is in a much better terms than the Anime does.
d. Okami may be his most powerful Persona overall, but you can’t expect to use him for everything, Margaret.
2a. So Siegfried instead of Rakshasha, that’s actually pretty even now. Siegfried was my favorite in P3.
b. Uh… you just summon Yamata no Orochi, but you didn’t use it for anything. Why? Why not just switch to Hell Biker immediately? *pause* Oh wait, to shield that Ziodyne right? Sorry.
c. Really? Did you repeat the same mistake as JCharles here? Margaret uses Cu Chulainn, not Tam Lin. And Cu is white while Tam Lin is greenish.
d. Honestly, with the fact that Yurlungur is a worm, the animation when it uses Virus Wave weirded me out a bit.
3a. So you switches the Tv Screens from Shadow Yuu to images of the SoT, that’s a good deviation.
b. Wait, just in case, you make Naoya, Tatsuya, and Maya the only Wild Cards on their team, right? Also, at least I know this is them in their Persona Story days.
c. In case you’re not familiar, Nuada is Airgetlam, who shows up in P1-P2.
d. So where did you get Heaven’s Blade on Okami then, Yuu?
e. Nuada/Airgetlam: King 10, Marduk: King 30
f. You know that Ice Boost is a passive so there’s no need to use it manually, right?
4a. In case you get confused, Zeus Ammon is almost the same thing as Amun-Ra. So what’s the difference power-wise.
b. Honestly, I feel that I’ll Face Myself Reincarnation is the better theme for this. *pause* But this is actually pretty good too.
c. Well, good to know that Yuu can heal between each fight, I imagine this trial will be a lot more difficult if he can’t.
5a. You know, Suou Tatsunoshin is a bit surprising choice, but it makes a lot of sense.
b. Did you know what Tenchuu-satsu means?
c. You know, Black Arrow sounds pretty bland for this, is there any reason to pick “Black” instead of something more unique to describe that skill?
d. Is that a pun to Hear Riser?
6a. Hi Minato. Poor Maya though, she got skipped :D
b. Speaking of which, where exactly is Dylan now? Care to explain me what exactly happened in the next chapter Dylan, please?
c. Well, facing them both at once, this might not sound good, oops.
d. You know, this is pretty anti-climactic, Minato, because we expect you to show Jesus Christ himself but we all know who Thanatos is… and also plain old Messiah -_- I mean Naoya and Tatsuya got upgrades, but not you.
7a. And what kind of transformation you expected Dylan to get through Yuu?
b. Ah, so that’s pretty much the proper closure of Future Dylan. NOW I want to see that, Dylan, please…
c. Wait, I know Charles died in CoC, but why did you get send over to the Moiraes? That doesn’t make sense.
d. And of course Morgana show up in a Golden place full of treasures to steal.
And… I think that’s all for now. I have some other stuff to do, so… bye and Keep Update!
P.S.: What do you think of Golden just releasing to PC last week?
I agree that your idea of Yuu refusing the Lotus Eater Machine this time is an original one, but that question on how or why did he still end up at Margaret’s Arena regardless of accepting or rejecting that offer. Anyway, I think that’s all for the Intro, let’s go to the chapter.
1a. Just in case, the game version says that it’s on a Nighttime Version of Heaven. The question is, is the Anime and this fic’s version of that place is not the same place?
b. I didn’t know Yuu get various Tests and Trials here like Charles did in IDBH. Or is it a different thing?
c. Good to know that this fight’s condition is in a much better terms than the Anime does.
d. Okami may be his most powerful Persona overall, but you can’t expect to use him for everything, Margaret.
2a. So Siegfried instead of Rakshasha, that’s actually pretty even now. Siegfried was my favorite in P3.
b. Uh… you just summon Yamata no Orochi, but you didn’t use it for anything. Why? Why not just switch to Hell Biker immediately? *pause* Oh wait, to shield that Ziodyne right? Sorry.
c. Really? Did you repeat the same mistake as JCharles here? Margaret uses Cu Chulainn, not Tam Lin. And Cu is white while Tam Lin is greenish.
d. Honestly, with the fact that Yurlungur is a worm, the animation when it uses Virus Wave weirded me out a bit.
3a. So you switches the Tv Screens from Shadow Yuu to images of the SoT, that’s a good deviation.
b. Wait, just in case, you make Naoya, Tatsuya, and Maya the only Wild Cards on their team, right? Also, at least I know this is them in their Persona Story days.
c. In case you’re not familiar, Nuada is Airgetlam, who shows up in P1-P2.
d. So where did you get Heaven’s Blade on Okami then, Yuu?
e. Nuada/Airgetlam: King 10, Marduk: King 30
f. You know that Ice Boost is a passive so there’s no need to use it manually, right?
4a. In case you get confused, Zeus Ammon is almost the same thing as Amun-Ra. So what’s the difference power-wise.
b. Honestly, I feel that I’ll Face Myself Reincarnation is the better theme for this. *pause* But this is actually pretty good too.
c. Well, good to know that Yuu can heal between each fight, I imagine this trial will be a lot more difficult if he can’t.
5a. You know, Suou Tatsunoshin is a bit surprising choice, but it makes a lot of sense.
b. Did you know what Tenchuu-satsu means?
c. You know, Black Arrow sounds pretty bland for this, is there any reason to pick “Black” instead of something more unique to describe that skill?
d. Is that a pun to Hear Riser?
6a. Hi Minato. Poor Maya though, she got skipped :D
b. Speaking of which, where exactly is Dylan now? Care to explain me what exactly happened in the next chapter Dylan, please?
c. Well, facing them both at once, this might not sound good, oops.
d. You know, this is pretty anti-climactic, Minato, because we expect you to show Jesus Christ himself but we all know who Thanatos is… and also plain old Messiah -_- I mean Naoya and Tatsuya got upgrades, but not you.
7a. And what kind of transformation you expected Dylan to get through Yuu?
b. Ah, so that’s pretty much the proper closure of Future Dylan. NOW I want to see that, Dylan, please…
c. Wait, I know Charles died in CoC, but why did you get send over to the Moiraes? That doesn’t make sense.
d. And of course Morgana show up in a Golden place full of treasures to steal.
And… I think that’s all for now. I have some other stuff to do, so… bye and Keep Update!
P.S.: What do you think of Golden just releasing to PC last week?