for Faker6/21/2014 c3 guest
thank you for writing what i think of with ocxcanon. I mean please one piece is a friendship thing not a love thing.
thank you for writing what i think of with ocxcanon. I mean please one piece is a friendship thing not a love thing.
6/10/2014 c1 guest
this is a really good start
this is a really good start
6/11/2014 c2 FunWriter2024
I gotta say dude, this is a pretty awesome story. The first chapter though was R-Rated gruesome, not PG-13. Keep going, but try to tone down the gore or simply make this story M-Rated so it doesn't scare the crap out of a kid. I assume Patrick will eventually have Ichigo's Complete Fullbring? Also, where will Patrick be sent by Kuma? Other than that, keep going.
I gotta say dude, this is a pretty awesome story. The first chapter though was R-Rated gruesome, not PG-13. Keep going, but try to tone down the gore or simply make this story M-Rated so it doesn't scare the crap out of a kid. I assume Patrick will eventually have Ichigo's Complete Fullbring? Also, where will Patrick be sent by Kuma? Other than that, keep going.
6/10/2014 c2 
23AliceYouWereHere
Ah, the second chapter is as good as the first. This story really doesn't disappoint so far. Sure, even with the Beta, there are a few mistakes, but for the most part it's easy to overlook them and continue reading. Your character clearly isn't like most - - whereas most OC's flip out and/or party when they realize they're in the world of their dreams, Patrick immediately and logically assumed that whatever he was going through was alcohol-induced. For an adult, or an almost adult, that would be a realistic assumption. This by itself puts my enjoyment of "Faker" up a few notches.
Plus, he clearly isn't very strong yet - - just that simple, 10-minute uphill run wore him out, as it would any normal human. His powers are still a mystery. Are they related to the two guys who were fighting each other to the death at the anime convention? Did the Ethereal Orb give him entirely new powers? Does the Substitute Shinigami Badge mean that he's a Shinigami or a Fullbringer, like Ichigo in Bleach?
This is definitely going in my follows and faves. I'm itching to find out what happens next. :D
23AliceYouWereHereAh, the second chapter is as good as the first. This story really doesn't disappoint so far. Sure, even with the Beta, there are a few mistakes, but for the most part it's easy to overlook them and continue reading. Your character clearly isn't like most - - whereas most OC's flip out and/or party when they realize they're in the world of their dreams, Patrick immediately and logically assumed that whatever he was going through was alcohol-induced. For an adult, or an almost adult, that would be a realistic assumption. This by itself puts my enjoyment of "Faker" up a few notches.
Plus, he clearly isn't very strong yet - - just that simple, 10-minute uphill run wore him out, as it would any normal human. His powers are still a mystery. Are they related to the two guys who were fighting each other to the death at the anime convention? Did the Ethereal Orb give him entirely new powers? Does the Substitute Shinigami Badge mean that he's a Shinigami or a Fullbringer, like Ichigo in Bleach?
This is definitely going in my follows and faves. I'm itching to find out what happens next. :D
5/26/2014 c1 15Undying Soul98
A very strong start to a story. Your introduced OC is well written and likable, and you have written some excellent descriptive sections. Honestly, your writing style is strong, so long as you can keep this quality up. The other OC characters introduced all have interesting personalities from what I can tell so far, and many elements introduced like the Orb, fragments and that voice that kept speaking to him.
Admittedly, there were some spelling mistakes (For example, you wrote 'scene' instead of 'seen') and you had a few commas lacking, but apart from that it was quite good.
In the future of this fic I look forwards to seeing how your OC is implanted into the Strawhat crew, as well as how his presence changes things.
15Undying Soul98A very strong start to a story. Your introduced OC is well written and likable, and you have written some excellent descriptive sections. Honestly, your writing style is strong, so long as you can keep this quality up. The other OC characters introduced all have interesting personalities from what I can tell so far, and many elements introduced like the Orb, fragments and that voice that kept speaking to him.
Admittedly, there were some spelling mistakes (For example, you wrote 'scene' instead of 'seen') and you had a few commas lacking, but apart from that it was quite good.
In the future of this fic I look forwards to seeing how your OC is implanted into the Strawhat crew, as well as how his presence changes things.