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8/26/2014 c1 gonzo22
this had potential to become to a good story but then oyu had to just show biased against characters you dont like by killing them. Cameron and zoey are good characters
8/7/2014 c2 gonzo22
you said that no like likes Cameron. boy are you very very wrong
7/24/2014 c3 NerdyNightStocker
So Courtney is also a detective who's having a tryst with her boss Josh? Interesting... I wonder how Chris will also contribute to the story aside from being a sleazy landlord?... Scott is such a puss that of course it doesn't surprise me that he didn't really kill someone. What surprised me was the fact that Trent and Ezekiel seem to have a large murder plot connected with a crazy ritual! Hopefully they don't succeed!
7/24/2014 c2 NerdyNightStocker
I can't help but pity Zoey's parents. No parent ever wants to outlive their child... Duncan and Scott were appropriately hilarious, especially the latter! Leave it to Duncan to be an extremely competent criminal! Lightning and Anne Maria aren't exactly beacons of hope for their generation but I doubt they'd kill Zoey for some high school shit. I like Cameron fine but can understand that someone has to be a victim... I'm surprised that a main character was killed off so quickly but it just makes the story more intense (increased body count, of course)!
7/24/2014 c1 NerdyNightStocker
Firstly, props to you for creating a story that puts many underrated characters in the spotlight, especially Eva and Staci since hardly any writers utilize them well. Each of the character roles seem appropriate though it sounds like the Writer's Forum has inspired your use of Psycho Trent LOL. Onward to the next chapter...
7/10/2014 c3 4Gideoncrawle
So, I was on the right track. Zoey's eye was part of a cult sacrifice. As for the disposal of Staci's and Cameron's bodies, I don't think sulfuric acid is particularly hard to get. It's a common industrial chemical.

It's not clear why you called Chris an "evil landlord". From what little we saw of him, he sounds more callous (and perhaps lecherous) than evil. By the by, in the real world he would probably have to give them 30 days or more to vacate, especially since he can't point to any misconduct or nonpayment of rent, so the four days he offers is hardly "generous". As for the other characters introduced in this chapter, I can just see Blainelely and Izzy running a sex shop-or better yet, as dominatrices. If Courtney and Josh don't have more than a professional relationship, we're clearly meant to think that they do.

Technical note: I think you probably meant "narrowly missing" the hydrant, not "narrowly hitting" it.
7/10/2014 c3 1MegaMovieMonday
This is such a cool story! I really reqret not finding it sooner. The plot is coming along quite nicely and you're characterizations for each character is well done. Eva as a main protagonist was an excellent choice and im relieved that she has her temper under control. Ninth god knows what would happen if she did. Lol. Im a little interested in how simple minded Scott is here and how abusive Duncan is towards him. I guess they really help make it dark. And normally id be against the idea of Trent as a nine loving freak in any regular fanfic (hes a personal favorite) but for this story I love it! Especially if he gets to be a main antagonist. Overall, I really love this story and you're doing a great job writing it. Hope you keep up the great work! _
7/8/2014 c3 10LittleMissyGalPal
This chapter was just as good as the last. I like how you introduced Blaineley, Izzy, and Courtney. They were all in character. Speaking of the characters, I hope you include Eva and Noah more next time.

I was really surprised when I found out that Scott didn't kill Cameron. That was a really good twist! Oh, and Duncan's a real douche.

When you first mentioned Chris, I thought he was actually going to be kind in a story for one- but it turns out I was wrong. Who knows... maybe Katie and Lindsay can work at Sadie's Sweets now? And speaking of Katie and Lindsay, it was funny when they were screaming.

The "Father Trent" part was hilarious, but it sucks to find out who killed Zoey and Cameron so early. Oh well, I guess I was wrong about Mike... And it looks as though Eva is going to have a rough time now. I can't wait to see what happens next.

Keep up the good work.
7/6/2014 c3 16Knifez
Interesting...very interesting.

Well, you have a very awesome story coming along here. I hope you can find ways to continue it without making it boring or repetitive. I hope to see more of this in the future.

I loved the sex shop scene. That is the perfect job for Blainley!
7/6/2014 c3 14The Sarcasm Master
Oooh, cliffhanger. Crazy Trent is always fun, and he's clearly insane. Blaineley and Izzy were fun and it'll be interesting to see how the team goes about figuring out Trent, Scott, and Duncan.
7/5/2014 c3 50acosta perez jose ramiro
Whoa. This is intenseā€¦ and Eva's already a target? Interesting.

Keep the good writing.
7/5/2014 c3 17SecretAgent12
Oh thank God the last names are included on Trent's detective list. I had to make sure Courtney's name only had eight letters are on the list. I was initially put off by the abrupt killing of Staci, but I guess it's still coming together nicely.
7/5/2014 c3 13Glowing Insanity
Ooooooh...cliffhanger! Wonder what's gonna happen next chapter? Can't wait for it!
7/1/2014 c2 4Panda the Magical Demigod
I liked Cameron! But I suppose you had to kill SOMEONE off...but what's with you killing off all the characters I like?
7/1/2014 c1 Panda the Magical Demigod
No! Not Zoey! She was just a poor, hard-working sweetie! And my favourite character! And yes, someone else who agrees with me about All Stars!
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