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for Book 1: Genesis (North and South Edition)

7/4/2018 c7 martengsari
very amusing. good one.
7/12/2015 c7 Starlite62
I love this story! Your creation of N&S with fantasy is brilliant.
Please post the next chapters!

Thank you
Caterina
7/2/2014 c6 angelica8051
Lovely chapter. I love having it written in John's perspective. I was really surprised at the kiss between John and Margaret because he has "ruined" her in the eyes of all of Milton's elite. There's no way she can reasonably deny any proposal and not suffer the social repercussions. I love that a jealous Ms Mortimer will be given her own little plot but I fear what she will do.
6/28/2014 c5 1Onceandfuturefangirl
Thank you so much for the mention. It has been such a joy to work with you and get sneak peeks at the next chapters. As always, lovely work! You really do capture the characters very well, and you are deepening our knowledge of Margaret more with every chapter. I love Fanny, you have preserved her shallowness, while adding a sweetness to her character that she seldom gets in fanfictions. You've deepened Margaret's relationship with almost everyone. In the book, her only close relationship (other than family) is really solely with Bessy and Nicholas. Even then, Bessy spends half of her dialogue talking about the apocalypse. You've made them much more like true friends, much like Margaret and Fanny. Thank you again. Your fanfiction truly is a breath of fresh air! I love the fantasy world you've placed the novel in. Having Margaret interact with water sprites is such a treat to huge fantasy nerds like myself. I truly enjoy reading it (and poking at it) so much. Keep up the good work! You are doing beautifully.
6/18/2014 c4 Onceandfuturefangirl
An Irish quote! Love it. Hope to see some Irish soon! I'm glad Margaret does have magic capabilities and a lovely voice to shame Mrs. Thornton (serves her right). Earth magic does seem to suit Margaret, and what better song to sing than a song about a rose! Lovely music, by the way. Please recommend music for your readers to listen to for future chapters. I love it when authors do that.

I like how you've written about Milton's ugliness. I think too often fantasy writers make their worlds utopias, but any world filled with people will have faults. Milton, I fear, has more than most. You truly have done a wonderful job of creating a believable world and class system. I also like the pride and independence of the Northerners. Still a prickly bunch, to be sure. As painful as it is, Margaret being punished-rather than being scorned, as in the novel- for her compassion feels real. You done a great job of making Milton not only an industrial town, but a recovering war zone filled with broken people. And the baskets were a very nice touch.

Wow... Queen Hannah is definitely something. You may want to make her less terrifying in future, because she actually does possess good qualities. But I can see her publicly humiliating someone who undercut her. She is a head of state, after all, and needs to act decisively. Perhaps time will teach her not to act so cruelly.

I heartily enjoyed this chapter! Cannot wait for the next one!
6/18/2014 c3 Onceandfuturefangirl
The quote, as usual, was absolutely perfect. I might have squealed a little bit from the feels. So it begins. I am so excited to finally read 'the meeting chapter'. First off, Edith and Captain Lennox are so very cute. They always seem to be short-shifted. I like that you've added a little bit more into their relationship. I also like that they aren't married-yet. Margaret and Edith have a really great relationship, and I like how Edith isn't pushy and manipulative in your adaption. And I love Margaret's sense of humor. Too often fanfic writers forget how much spirit and wit she has, or give her too much spice and sarcasm. You have found a lovely balance.

Okay, so Thornton. Is it okay to admit I envision him looking more like Thorin than Thornton? He seems very bold, kissing Margaret's hand. I can just feel the tension mounting! I like how her dislike of him stems from an awkward social situation; that scenario really is more true to the book. Thank you for staying true to the novel. But I do like that Margaret found him attractive from the first. I think it is more true to your scenario. Not saying that Margaret finds men in positions of power more attractive, but perhaps she is a little more willing to see the handsomeness in the face of a living legend... Even if he did embarrass her badly.
6/18/2014 c2 Onceandfuturefangirl
First off, I love the way you start every chapter with a quote. It really helps parallel your story to Gaskell's. And this one is perfect, not just for the chapter, but for Margaret and John. I like how you elucidate the background of the characters; in fantasy writing especially family ties can be confusing.

So, the Sankin Kotai... Please tell me Lord Thornton does not have a harem of concubines. Although the concept is interesting (and surprisingly not too out of line for the Victorian era), it seems a little out of character for Mr. Thornton to come up with such a thing. He seems to respect women, certainly Margaret, in Gaskell's novel. But this is a fantasy fanfiction, so I totally understand why you added it. Perhaps it's my feminism getting bent out of shape, but the custom seems really degrading to women. But it is just one more 'Northern custom' for Margaret to combat. ;)

Your Margaret is lovely! I love that she has more family to interact with, hopefully she will have a grand support system throughout the entire story. I love that you have given her and Mr. Bell a strong relationship; it's a relationship I always wished went deeper in the novel. Plus, dragonlord Bell? Definitely awesome. Bravo!

One thing you may want to watch is your verb tense. Generally speaking, it's best to keep the same tense throughout a paragraph, if not almost the entire chapter. Editing can be a real beast, especially after you work for a long time on a chapter. If you would like, I would love to scan over any chapter you're willing to send me. But don't feel like you have to, your story is absolutely lovely. Keep up the good work!
6/14/2014 c4 angelica8051
Another great chapter. Really enjoyed being in Adam Bell's head for a bit.
6/11/2014 c3 Guest
Well this is different! Quite definitely hooked! Cannot wait to see what you do after this very interesting start!
6/7/2014 c3 angelica8051
Just a wonderful chapter although I think
Margaret overreacted when John healed her. Idk made her seem a little harpy-ish
6/1/2014 c1 LittleC
If your plots half as good as your world building this story should be amazing :) looking forward to seeing where your heading with this
5/31/2014 c1 31938060pd
Seems like you have a good story up your sleeve. Keep posting
5/29/2014 c1 angelica8051
This is so good. Gonna be such a badass take on the classic. Excited to read on.
5/29/2014 c1 1EyreGirl
The first image I had of king John Thornton was as Thorin Okenshield!
5/28/2014 c1 1Onceandfuturefangirl
Totally different concept than anything I've seen! Keep up the lovely work. Cannot wait to meet Margaret and John. I must admit, the idea of Mr. Thornton as a Northern king/warlord is very appealing. Eagerly anticipating more!
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