Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for The Erased Chronicles

12/6/2014 c12 An Anime and Gamer Fan
This is a great story there arent many erasa/gohan like this I hope you continue
12/2/2014 c12 6Elemental-Knowledge
Please have Videl wimp-out on Gohan's training. I want to see that bitch with the god-complex SCREAM.
12/2/2014 c12 2maximusrexmundi
Glad to see you back. I totes understand the poké crazy. I got alpha but refuse to open it cuz finals #suckstoberesponsible
12/2/2014 c12 SaintMichael95
I really like this story but please PLEASE put Videl in her place... Her constant bitchyness is really starting to get annoying and wear thin...
12/2/2014 c12 Guest
update soon
12/2/2014 c12 RKF22
Awesome work can't wait for more
12/1/2014 c12 anonymous
Sooooo videl is also taking a slight liking to gohan, wonder how that'll turn out to be
Update soon
12/1/2014 c12 36Demod20
While shorter than the last few Chapters, this was definitely a good read :)

I know I, among a few others still present, had originally wanted Chi-Chi to lay the maternal smackdown on Videl for attitude adjustment, I'm glad that didn't happen in this chapter. Videl can be quite cordial, given the chance, if people don't give her reason to be hostile. Chi-Chi is naturally a good hostess, so she wouldn't jump the gun on assuming the worst of Videl, ESPECIALLY when she's already adjusted and been befriended by Erasa herself. Being Erasa's friend was major bonus points in her book, so glad we won't have any nonsensical conflict between the older and younger women XD

The training segments, while may seem repetitive, are very much welcome. It shows a nice transition of time and comparison to the talent Videl possesses over Erasa. While Erasa was more open to Gohan's instruction and needed less handholding, I can see Videl asking Gohan a lot of questions or assistance in her own development. Whether Erasa and Videl become equals by the time their training ends is anyone's guess...

Glad to have helped be a part of this Chapter. It was endearing, it was nostalgic, and it was a ton of fun to read through. Continue writing these out and we'll eventually get to the Tournament, where we're all hyped to see how it plays out. Until then, cya on the next update! :D
10/26/2014 c11 3SomeGuyOnHisKeyboard
Ok, first of all... Two chapters in the same month! Considering how detailed this story is, that's rather admirable of you! I could get used to this lol :D

Second...well honestly I have some mixed feelings here. I gotta say I appreciate how you made Goten and Trunks having actual REASONS to turn SS rather than "roll with it". And FUCK YEAH! Pikkon's in the mix! Awesome, I love that guy! Perhaps we could see some more of him in the future? ;)

As you can see, I'm totally not a fan boy haha.

Now onto the things I had a problem with. Gohan seemed rather OOC here...I mean you made it sound like he enjoys fighting as a hobby when you brought up how he regretted weakening in the past seven years due to lack of training. But see, Gohan doesn't care about all that. He fights when he wants to, not because he has to and ever since he was a little boy it was his dream to be a scholar. So yeah, that's one nitpick I have. I think you need to keep in mind that Gohan isn't truly a fighter at heart.

And then you have Videl. 'sigh'...yeah, I understand for drama's sake she was supposed to be in but I honestly forgot she existed in this fic lol. In my not so humble opinion, you could've left her out of the limelight for longer than that but then its your story not mine... And also the lack of Erasa felt odd in this chapter considering how she's one of the main characters. Then again, we do need reminding that other characters do exist, which is probably the reason you kept Videl in. Oh, and as several reviewers said before me, give Gohan a backbone like you did with Chi Chi. If he's willing to stand up to his mother I firmly believe he's willing to tell Videl to cut the crap and be patient.

All in all, this wasn't too bad. Not the best, nor the worst, and keep in mind I'm not trying to write your story for you with this criticism of mine, I'm just trying to help in the best way I can. But look at me, I have no stories on so I shouldn't be talking haha. See you next time, Ms. 5000!
10/26/2014 c11 Guest
Alright another one. Loved seeing the other saiyans progression.
10/25/2014 c11 2maximusrexmundi
I like the explanations for the boys transforming :-) I still DON'T like Videl in any capacity. And to your note, Goku was my hero too. How could he NOT be :-)
10/25/2014 c11 36Demod20
This...THIS is where things get juicy!

I love the details in each part of the story. From Goku's section, to Goten's sparring match, and then Vegeta's training session with Trunks. Even if I was tired when I previewed this, I can tell that this is a vast improvement on your writing quality and the amount of work you placed into it. Sure, it may have taken awhile, but this was DEFINITELY worth the wait

Looking at each section, you can clearly see this is a good contrast to how the series laughed off the idea of how RIDICULOUS it is for Super Saiyans to be born so passively. To see Trunks and Goten struggle with their own trials, whether it was in a near death occurrence or being mistreated, they both truly shine their colors as more fleshed out characters. Even mini-Trunks seems more like his own person than simply the hand-me-downs of someone who was truly awesome from the last Saga (ie, F-Trunks).

Even though there has been a lack of Erasa here, this was a good chapter. The part with Videl dropping in unannounced was deliciously dramatic. I can't wait to see how the hostess takes this, oh wait, SHE WON'T! HA! Can't wait to see that either w
10/25/2014 c11 Mskiki1219
I have multiple things:
1. I firkin' love your writing style!
Erasa adventually fight Videl?
Gohan end up diffrently than in canon?

Anyways, I love this story! Keep going!
10/25/2014 c11 SaintMichael95
Tsk tsk tsk, you have got to make Gohan grow some balls when it comes to videl... I mean shit man, that bitch just shows up out of nowhere acting like she owns the goddamn place, expecting to stay there for weeks without even asking the son family. Thats messed up, and you have got to make her learn some goddamn manners...
1,581 « Prev Page 1 .. 85 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 105 .. Last Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service