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9/11/2020 c1 Shadowstorm-Vash
What am I supposed to get from this summary?
12/8/2018 c39 rancheesan
Wow! what can i say but its sooo good this story gets better and better.I cant wait for the diiner with Blacksky is going be like and the hint for Usagi as ranma's date is sure to be good. I cant say enough about how good this story is. I hope there is more stuff with Ami she is a good foe for usagi.
4/14/2018 c38 Emdee
So... is ch37 the final chapter for part 1? I know there's a part 2, plus the side story (Blood Debts), but there doesn't seem to be any indication of a finale for part 1 - just another continuation-type ending to the chapter...
12/8/2016 c1 2Mangahero18
Is this a sequel to something or is all the extra stuff made up? Cause im so fucking confused.
10/24/2016 c37 irgendwas
Started reading on 10/17, finished today - one week later.

Much of my spare time this last week was spent reading this story, and I'd like to start by saying that I really had a fantastic time doing so. It got to the point where it kept me reading when I should have gone to bed much earlier, and my work performance took a hit with me sneaking away from my computer to take "coffee breaks" (reading breaks) quite often.

Ok, with that out of the way, you've definitely earned a more useful review - so I'll try my best...

Technical aspects -

As with your other stories that I previously read, I was impressed with your style of writing. You have a real talent for crafting realistic and believable scenes. Your amazing attention to detail goes a long way in supporting this. The way you portray your characters paying attention to seemingly little details made these things stand out to me as a reader as well. I felt like your characters moved in and interacted with real environments, and all the little elements of your scenes formed important pieces without which the characters actions and motivations wouldn't make as much sense as they do.

What fascinated me the most is how thought out some of your longer and more important dialogue sections were. The scene between Ranma and Ami in the cafe comes to mind. Even if it is just two characters talking to each other for a comparatively long time, the way you seem to have carefully crafted each speakers dialogue, and their seemingly unimportant little conscious and unconscious actions, made these scenes just as exciting - or even more so - than your fight scenes.

I noticed some typos/wrong word usage (things that spell check won't pick up) - maybe one per chapter on average.

Story/Universe -

In hindsight I think the first chapters work fairly well in introducing the reader to the story and universe. But I really mean the "first few" chapters - not only the first one, until the most important things have been explained, and the reader gets a feel for the story. After the first chapter I wasn't so sure if it was worth sticking with the story, and I felt like this was going to be just another crazy multi-crossover. That didn't last long though, even reading just the second chapter made me realize that there was a lot of potential for me liking the story.

You've crafted a fascinating alternate universe here with lots of potential to tell other stories.

I liked the way you structured the story arcs, with dramatic highlights followed by some down time before the next plot twist. There were a few points where I felt the story "shift" in tone and/or focus. Nothing too drastic, but I got the impression that maybe there were some longer breaks between chapters and you adjusted your vision for the story a little. I think that's only natural for a story that has been going on for such a long time though.

I got the impression that you kept some things purposely on the back burner - things like the Gos at school, that other granddaughter of BlackSky, or even Blacksky herself - to both keep the reader on their toes and as a way of introducing new plot elements exactly when you need them, without giving of the feel of a rushed plot device.

Characters -

I'm not sure what else to say apart from the fact that I think you masterfully created almost all of them. I felt like I really got to know your characters in those 700k words. My favorites were all the demons and the various named company agents. I loved the way you portrayed the succubus family structure and culture. Murdock is a fascinating character. The concept of Ami as a sort of self-aware plot-device within the context of the other characters schemes was fascinating to me as well.

I did not particularly care for the other senshi so far. Rei and Makoto are still not particularly interesting to me, and what you did with Minako - while an interesting and unique concept - went a little too far for me to really care for her (yet). Pluto is interesting, she is pissing me off a little, but I get that this is what you are going for with her :). Usagi had a good start with those cultists, but all the whining afterwards - and especially the whole "I'll just let Minako deal with everything" really put me off. I really cannot see what Ranma sees in her. Again, they had potential in the beginning, but after that they were not really on good terms with eachother for a long time.

That brings me to the one thing I really disliked: how quickly you "reactivated" the romance between Usagi and Ranma, and even more than that - Ranmas little princess doll form. You begin by having Ranma mature into her role as a brood queen, just to have her transfer into a cute little doll for Usagi in the next chapter. I cannot understand why Ranma would act that way - she has been trying to get Usagi to grow up and get serious about her situation for so long, just to suddenly transform into something Usagi can live her little princess fantasies out on? (and say things like "cute demon senshi" about herself)
That whole sailor earth thing felt rushed and poorly thought out, the scenes in the last chapter with Usagi and Ranma in her kiddy form in her lap were downright creepy (with the sexual undertones).
All the other elements of your story seem so very well crafted and thought out that I almost can't trust my own judgment on this point. But even after re-thinking it the only reason for this plot twist I cannot come up with a satisfying explanation for inserting this overly cute stuff into the story. I hope this is just some scheme of Ranma and I really would have expected the other characters to ask her what the hell she was thinking acting like that in the middle of what feels like a war.
Also, that last part with Ranma devouring whole steaks by splitting open her jaws... why? The demoness Ranma was a very intriguing character that you spent a long time building up, it feels like you are throwing all of that out of the window for some reason.
But maybe I misunderstood or missed something important along the way that would explain everything :)

Ok I probably went on long enough, thank you again for your story and I hope you find my feedback useful. I will check out that new side story, but please continue the main plot as well - hope to see 1M words in the near future :)
10/19/2016 c37 5DschingisKhan
Well, that was rather intense. Usagi really hit the jackpot when it comes to a harem. And Setsuna's reveal at the very end there? That was good. The signs were there, but I just never made the connection.
10/19/2016 c8 irgendwas
I'm already hooked - glad I gave the story the time it needed for me to get into it. Impressive amount of detail you put into nearly everything - you must do a lot research for your stories. About ch8: yay for more sunshine :)
Tks for the story.
10/18/2016 c33 DschingisKhan
Oh Ami, what in the world has happened to you? What are the odds Saeko slaps you and the spell breaks?

I wonder if Nodoka is going to end up turned? By grandmother, that is. There would be a certain... "rightness" to it.

With how much you put into the first tentative steps of their relationship, I kind of can't wait to see what it's like when Usagi becomes Ranma's mate. Maybe it won't take another half million words, yes?

Actually, I'm continually baffled by how you seen to be able to spend so many words on so little actually happening. Even if it's not as annoying as when Tolkien does it, it's still weird.
10/18/2016 c31 DschingisKhan
Thank the stars THAT'S over. God Empress Serenity was getting way old. And a breakthrough! Good work, Ranma.

On that note, I wonder just how powerful she is, at this point? I feel like Ranma's next sortie is going to be a curbstomp.
10/17/2016 c1 irgendwas
Interesting start, but there are so many things I don't understand. I wonder - are these original elements, or is there a third universe crossover included already? I am not sure if I am expected to know all of these names and organizations.

Definitely not as easy to get into as some of your other stories :)
Starting with chapter two...
10/17/2016 c23 DschingisKhan
Oh, you're a Nanoha fan, too. Suddenly the AoM beam shooting sticks resolve quite clearly in my head as standard issue bureau storage devices.
10/17/2016 c38 Jake
Ah, now I get it. You changed your summary to highlight your new always amazes me when I find a story with 700k words that it seems like not many people are reading. At least you are doing better than some of the monsters on here that barely have a hundred reviews. So many words...so much time spent. Btw I scrolled through a few chapters and your formatting is off on some of them.
10/17/2016 c1 Jake
So many characters and crap going on that I don't care about. I'm not really sure whats going on here. Is this an original universe? I guess its a mishmash. I even scrolled down looking for a mention of dresden but nothing. Please fix your summary so it actually tells you what the story is about.
10/16/2016 c17 DschingisKhan
Ahaha, so much Hellsing, but no one who isn't intimately familiar with it will be able to tell just how many little flourishes are straight from Hirano's playbook.

I'm wondering how long it'll be before Naoko and Sam are turned. Probably as bystanders to some other group. Like whoever Gosunkugi is involved with. Nodoka... might also join the family? And I have a hunch that's what'll end up happening to Shampoo too.

The thing with Kasumi was a long time coming.
10/16/2016 c16 DschingisKhan
Woah, now that was a twist I didn't see coming. Two, in fact: both Janet's past and Ami's work. Good job selling that they were merely lovers.

Also, Nodoka is making Hellsing guns and weapons with fragments of Soul Edge now. It's actually kind of adorable how you wear your influences on your sleeve. Ah, but you make it work fairly well; there's a balance to these things, you know, and it stops being a reference when you start naming names or being too overt.
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