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6/11/2016 c1 Nancy Robison
This was just great...hope there are more to follow ! Have a great Weekend
6/30/2014 c1 Angela
"out for me and our tea" - wow so they were allowed to have tea while out on patrol in Kabul? And it was nice of the lieutenant to look out for it. Was it in danger or something? Was the enemy going to drink it that someone had to watch out for it? That's impressive. What else were they allowed to have?

"who leant around the table" - you can't "leant" around a table. You can lean or leaned. Leant isn't a word.

"they found Catherine's car with a blown out tire". "someone shot the tyre to get" - so in the same sentence you spell tire right the first type but spell it incorrectly the second? That makes no sense. "What is a tyre?"

"she knew due to the heavy alcohol in his system worker" what is a system worker? Is it a person who works the system?

"he's by breathing" what does by breathing mean?

"to stifle a grain against" - so how do you stifle a grain? Isn't a grain something you use to make bread? So you can stifle bread?

"The grain in end spine?" What? This sentence makes absolutely no sense.

"There's as no welcome rehabilitation brothers of the community eating for me outside Texas penitentiary," Parker cried, "just a key to this dumb from my parents in nan envelope they had sealed they say you and those four out me there." - Are we seriously supposed to understand what you are saying in this sentence? So a community would have been eating for him? Why couldn't he eat for himself? What is a nan envelope? Is it a special type of envelope? And four out me there? What?

I so wanted to enjoy this fic but the grammatical errors and typos are too much. PROOFREAD before you post!
6/11/2014 c1 St
Great story! Loved that it was so long...I prefer one long story rather than short chapters. Please continue to write more, your plot was extremely interesting and look forward to reading more from you !
6/10/2014 c1 kimphin
Wonderful story.
6/9/2014 c1 8Lawsy89
Loved this!
6/9/2014 c1 9LuckyStarPham
Loved it so much. Yeah I became a fan of your writing. Please keep up the good work!
6/9/2014 c1 Five-0 Fan
Nice job. Great ending. :)
6/9/2014 c1 Kiwikaren
Wow, all happened in one chapter. Love it.
6/9/2014 c1 26Leni-H50
Loved it!
6/9/2014 c1 allison
brilliant, i was hooked all the way through this story, fantastic writing and great plot. Please if you can do an aftermath story to this, loved it
6/9/2014 c1 CatherineHF0
Omg love it thank you so much

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