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2/5/2018 c56 carwash36
Damn awesome, can't wait to read more!
1/30/2018 c56 7RenegadeForLife
A well written story about an OP Taylor who has to deal with Villains that rarely face her head on. The story can get dark and it's definitely not wish fulfillment despite Taylor's OP ability and the confidence she has at the start of the story.
1/30/2018 c27 RenegadeForLife
I feel like one of the jokes in this chapter was a TeamFourStar reference but it wasn't word for word so it could've been a total coincidence.
1/28/2018 c20 contradiction
thomas calvert and coil at the same place and time cannot happen
1/23/2018 c56 Simianpower
This was so heavy handed. The past 10 chapters were... bad. I wish I could put another word to it, but I can't. The story got better, briefly, around the halfway point. But that was it. The first third was monotonous, the latter third predictable and lacking both threat and character growth. Worse, very little of the story felt like Worm. The characters didn't feel real, they acted WAY out of character, and the "actions have consequences" morality was so unsubtle that it really ruined even the few good parts of the story. While I liked the alt-power, and the resultant detachment, over the whole arc of this story in general I did not like this Taylor at all. Add in the mechanical problems (random POV switches, no scene breaks, etc) and I can't give this more than a 3/10. I kept hoping for more, but not getting it.
1/22/2018 c50 Simianpower
So... Taylor has access to and willing cooperation of the world's strongest precog. She has a missing dad. And for DAYS she does nothing but mope. How about asking 6-10 questions a day to narrow down his situation and/or location? After all the work and the endless coilcoilcoilcoilcoil BS, how about actually reaping some belated benefit from that? Is she just dim? Even something as basic as "What are the odds that I'd find Dad if I went west? East? North? That's pretty trivial hot/cold crap, and it doesn't even occur to her to try something that simple, let alone some better questions? And, worse, not even Tattletale figures that out? Once again, I. Don't. Buy. It.
1/22/2018 c48 Simianpower
1/22/2018 c41 Simianpower
Aaaaand that was fast. Back to rather idiotic chapters so quickly. Uber and Leet are silly. Which is fine. But they've never struck me as suicidal. They would absolutely NOT take hostages from someone who cold-bloodedly executed the last person who took her friends hostage, who punted an Endbringer, who hasn't shown any known weaknesses, and who harnessed and/or ignored the full power of the Triumvirate. They're silly and rather stupid, but not THAT stupid. I don't buy it. And that alone is a sad statement about the chapter. When your readers don't believe what you wrote, that's bad.
1/22/2018 c35 Simianpower
That was a damned good pair of chapters. Not just because of the events, which I did enjoy, but because it all fit together so well. I'm glad I didn't stop reading, because there's hope for this yet.

I'm curious where you take this next, though, because canon is out the window entirely now. Leviathan didn't do much damage, so the likelihood of the S9 showing up just tanked. And then the events of this chapter negated another rather large issue. With the S9 gone, the apocalypse prophecy and threats to Theo never happen either. I really hope to see something totally original coming up soon.
1/22/2018 c31 Simianpower
I really like the "nothing can touch me" detachment, the nearly autistic viewpoint that Taylor has. That's a great way to work the locker scene, and the power that goes with it is an awesome fit. But the liberties you take with canon, twisting things so that everything goes according to the dictates of your plot rather than working with the world you're writing in, that really bothers me.

Almost every chapter I'm left thinking, "That's not how the canon world works, and there's no explanation or reason for the change!" The PRT aren't stupid, capes care about their identities, and ENDBRINGERS AREN'T MADE OF TISSUE PAPER! In twenty years, Eidolon and Legend haven't been able to damage them all that much, yet using the exact same weapons they use, Taylor evaporates Leviathan. I would have been able to accept that she somehow used her super-mathemagics to unravel him, or block off his access to other dimensions, or negate his movement so that everyone else can focus their attacks on him. Whatever. But using Legend's lasers and Eidolon's attack, which they've used so many times themselves to no effect... no.
1/22/2018 c27 Simianpower
"Evil will always win because good is dumb." Yeah. But not in Worm. In Worm "good" is not all that well defined, and corruption is everywhere. But the PRT is not stupid enough to keep a supervillain team in a single cell. They're not stupid enough to leave a tinker outside of a Faraday cage. They're not oblivious enough to miss or ignore when they start enacting an escape. And their cells have more than sufficient ways to keep low-level villains locked up, including but not limited to containment foam, multi-layered defenses, electric shocks, knockout gas, and far far more. This entire chapter was just sad. Plot happens because plot, never mind what world you're playing in. Just bad writing.
1/22/2018 c22 Simianpower
Ahh, Collateral Damage Barbie strikes again!

The "fight" was well-written. And funny.

But. Again. The Wards go out to protect someone OUT OF COSTUME! How are they going to protect anyone if they're so worried about their identities that they can't use their powers? That's something pounded home in canon time after time after time: secret identities MATTER. You've thrown that to the wind because, what, it's inconvenient to write? If any Wards were actually as careless about their identities as these three were, they wouldn't HAVE any secrets past their first month as capes.
1/22/2018 c20 Simianpower
This really, REALLY needs scene breaks. I said before that sudden POV changes are bad, but it's even broader than that. Taylor's about to have a heart-to-heart about the locker with Lily... and literally the next sentence Dinah is asking to go to the park and there are five people in the room rather than two. ADD A DAMNED SCENE BREAK! How hard is this? It takes this much work: "-"
1/22/2018 c19 Simianpower
Coilcoilcoil coilcoil coil coilcoil coilcoil coil. *sigh*
1/22/2018 c16 Simianpower
Wait, Lily was at the store in the last chapter IN COSTUME? I thought she went along in disguise. Why did I think that? Because Taylor addressed her AS LILY and nobody said anything. If she were in her cape identity and got addressed by personal name, that's a big deal. And the fact that this is unclear even a chapter later indicates bad writing. One way or another, something's wrong with the past two chapters.

Also, POV changes should be indicated in some way, not just randomly thrown in like this.
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