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for Broken Down

8/6/2014 c1 4Huanted Darkling
can't wait to see what u will do with this fic
6/30/2014 c1 sffoovay
Oh I love it. This is so much what I imagine Harry thinking and feeling at this point in the series. I am one of the few who love Order of the Phoenix, and the angry Harry. He has every right to be furious - I would be in that same situation. Sure, WE know Dumbledore has a good reason for keeping Harry in the dark - but Harry doesn't. I do wonder what he is going to stand up and claim - unless it is Grimmauld Place. I think what I would see there would be a more typical teen angst of "I'll just disappear and see how they like that - when I ignore them back".

As far as posting all the lyrics - I, for one, am not familiar with the song so the story would have had no meaning without them. That said, I don't think we needed the repetiions of the chorus, or the "return to me" bit that is so repetitive. They could be zapped right out without making much difference.

To my dubious recollection, Harry Potter is not set in a particular year or years and being as most of it is in the magical world, I could make a case for the outside world being in the era of iPods for every boy and girl - except Harry because the Dursleys would never allow it - and the magical world would find them as mysterious as the fellytone. ;) Since Harry gets Dudley's castoffs - and iPods and iPhones have to be replaced with the newest version (of course) every six months, I can see a working iPhone with music making it's way into his hands.

This is more of an intro than a chapter, but it's a nice start. I'm interested in where Harry is off to, and what adventures he might have out from under all that supervision and oppression.
6/29/2014 c1 5Man of Constant Sorrow
A good start, if a predictable one.

While I appreciate the sentiments represented in the song, a couple of things irk me as a reader.

Disturbed wasn't around in the Harry Potter era.

Harry would not have access to a player of any sort or even a radio, the Durselys wouldn't allow it.

I dunno, modern things (iPods, cellphones, etc etc) in the Harry Potter series is one of my worst pet peeves right up there with canon pairings.

I hope this becomes a Harry/Hermione fic.

Don't make a habit of breaking up the story with lyrics or someone will get the story removed. Your best bet is to simply name the artist and song at the beginning of each chapter as suggested mood music.

thanks so much for sharing, I eagerly await your next.
6/29/2014 c1 7ubetiburn
When you look at it, the lyrics are almost longer then the chapter and they did nothing for the chapter in my opinion. For a first chapter, especially with the little introduction (summary) that was posted, it was a let down. In retrospect the chapter could have been written by simply saying that "Harry had it. No longer was Voldemort or Dumbledore or the Dursley's going to tell him how to think or what to do."

I might check out the next chapter and if I do it is going to have to be better then this to keep me reading. Do not take me as trashing the story or your work, just voicing my opinion. Also why can't you post if no one tells you how they find or think about your work...you should be doing this for you and not the reviews or accolades.

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