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for Kira's story of domination

4/27 c71 finderpd
What really happened to that one mutated advent soldier that became snake like which boarded that one shuttle with slaves?
2/17 c4 IDunnom8
An entertaining story so far, though i cant help but to be annoyed at all these grammatical mistakes.
5/20/2020 c1 1NeverStopWriting
Story looks like it could be good, but imma be real your english is either spotty or you are switching pronouns on purpose and it makes it hard to read when shepard flips multiple times in 1 paragraph yet alone in 1 chapter. Futas are usually considered she/her, if you want to switch it to he/him its fine, idc, but pick one and stay with it.
7/30/2019 c71 louisspartan98
Loved this stories I found it at chapter 30 and have been with it ever since and it was great. With it finished I can't wait to see your next big story
4/25/2019 c68 NightFury828
Where is Miranda? She is hardly ever mentioned in past many chapters...birth, brief mentions during clone issue, and that was about it. Bring her back. She is the one Shep truly loves (which is different from the others she uses) and of course has a kid now. She needs a much bigger role rather than absent girlfriend who is mother of shep's kid.
3/12/2019 c67 Camunrha
with the alpha of below zero i was expecting a reference at least and wasn't disappointed nice chapter
12/7/2018 c66 2VbloodLady
Happy Early Marry Christmas
12/6/2018 c66 8TazalTerminals
Got it. Hope you have a good christmas pal.
11/23/2018 c65 10Just a Crazy-Man
Love
8/7/2018 c63 2Alternet RedSkys
All in all the clone is getting a good deal getting to be her own person. And not just a copy.

Brook is going to be Kira's personal baby boomer sounds good all the kids would have tanned skin and be both smart and resourceful. Kira knows quality when she sees it.
6/3/2018 c62 Alternet RedSkys
I hope she isn't hard on the clone she was manipulated and used. But if she's close to the real thing she will make an excellent leader and soldier.

Brooks maybe a pet for one of the slaves or Kira's personal baby maker.

Still great chapter.
5/3/2018 c1 korlinki
you use he/she on Shepard this confuses a lot.
12/5/2017 c1 alienraptor
glad to have seen the comments on hf for this story love this series
11/8/2017 c1 Magon Blackfyre
This would be greatly encouraged in questionable questing
10/16/2017 c1 SaintMichael95
Did you proof read this at all? There are many mistakes, several misspelled words that are obvious and many times where you refer to Shepard with the wrong pronouns, I.e. "he" "him" "himself".

This is the first chapter of this story that people read, as such it leaves an impression on them and decides whether or not they continue to read this. I'm going to speed forward to the latest chapter and check the grammar etc. If it isn't improved I know not to bother reading this story through.
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OK just read the latest chapter and I'm not impressed, still a lot of mistakes that are fairly obvious. Please get a beta reader and have them go over everything that you've already written, starting from chapter 1. ffs you definitely need it.
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