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for Kira's story of domination

12/7/2014 c1 Gr
Wow, this is the worst Mass Effect fuc I have ever read. First, get Tevos' name right. It's not Travos. Second, don't get Star Wars or 40k into this excuse for a FanFic. Third, fix your grammar, it's like a elementary school child's. And lastly, fix the story. It is jumping around and it has no solid plot.
12/7/2014 c28 3ArielFetters
Given the general shape of Rachni, I'd suggest they have tails since about half their body length is tail. There's no sign they have wings, but obvious evidence they can fly both in and out of atmosphere, so maybe some kind of biological mass effect fields and taco bell? Also, Rachni have chitin (Armor plate) for skin, so depending on how Rachnified they are, they'd very possibly have built-in body armor.

For an example, a mildly Rachnified Asari might have rougher skin, longer sharper finger and toenails, probably the ability to spit acid, and the fertility stuff but not to a huge degree. A medium level altered Asari would have increased fertility, insect-like eyes, much rougher skin with plating covering her vitals, sound totally different or maybe even have trouble talking, they're going to be much more hive-oriented, maybe, when merged with their natural Asari abilities they might become true telepaths, their biotics are gonna be more powerful, could spit more and more powerful acid, and their nails (Hand and foot) are going to be obvious claws. They also would probably have at least a nub of a tail. Heavily altered Asari would be baby factories, maybe look like The Queen of Blades (Starcraft 2, minus the wings), they'd be larger larger, have a blatantly visible and prehensile tail, probably be able to fly somehow, their biotics would be absolutely insane, they could slag a tank with a spitwad, and they'd be totally unable to talk like a normal person plus extremely hive minded and much more protective of her offspring.

Think of it like adding turbos to a car. Sure, if you just put a single rinky-dink 1-3 Psi on there you don't need to mod your car and you'd need to pop the hood to see anything. You're also not gonna get a huge boost in performance. But dual's with 25 Psi each? You'd have to re-do the front end, add in a cooling system, a ram-air system, popping the hood is gonna be a whole other experience, and that's not going into detail about the drivetrain, suspension, wheels, and brakes just so the thing won't tear itself apart the moment you hit the gas.

Hope that all helped :)
12/6/2014 c27 1NeverStopWriting
I think it goes without saying bit great story so far. A bit on the sexualized side compared to what I usually read but I find it interesting. Now as for the future chapters:

Chapter 21 The Assassin and breeding- oooo so lots of the smutty stuff and cool assassins! But wait, r these gonna be Kira, s assassins or assassins the are tryong to assassinate Kira?

Chapter 22 Rise of the Neo Rachni- YAY! I finally get to see the improved Rachni. I'm interested to see how you change there communication with other species, since imo it would be inconvenient to need another person to possess every time you want them to say something. Mabye telepathy, or r u gonna go with just giving them voices?

Chapter 23 Travos' power and the Project (Kira will not appear in this one)- 1awww no kira :(. 2 Travos' power as in her pull in the asari world or is she actually going to be getting powers like Kora and her to "daughters"?

Chapter 24 The Project begins- wait ot hasn't started? Or do u mean she starts "mass producing" the slaves/warriors?
11/23/2014 c24 NeverStopWriting
THATS THE BEST IDEA EVER! But u should sorta add your own spin to it, like each of the crew get their own dragon and their dragon has their ability. So Kira's breaths fire the Asari (forgat their names :/ ) has one that borrows into the ground or something and the human made one has one that breaths ice. Just something added in toake it different.
11/23/2014 c24 coduss
hmm...could be good...im just waiting to see how this idea somehow gets twisted for sex...
11/19/2014 c23 dadman9994
dude this story is awesome cant wait till the next chapter
11/10/2014 c22 NeverStopWriting
But I want the update nowwwwwwwww *crys*
Lol oh well its good enough to wait for, when ch 2-10 of my story got lost I basically gave up on it. But I might eventually try again.
11/10/2014 c22 3Driger117
dude use Libreoffice its what I use and its great
11/9/2014 c22 Talon5Krrde
So, are you adding x-com aliens?

More latex clothing please!
11/9/2014 c22 fhr
Huh download LibreOffice. Also if you would need tech support Pm me :)
10/25/2014 c20 1LogicalFallacies
Looks good go for it.
10/23/2014 c20 ironman123
can we get on with the story
10/22/2014 c19 3Driger117
cool idea
10/21/2014 c19 1LogicalFallacies
Sure sounds like a good idea
10/20/2014 c19 The Okama Way
Do it
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