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for Of Cair Paravel

4/6/2016 c4 monkeybaby
Cute sisterly bonding
8/24/2014 c3 Guest
I want to read more. Keep it going! Dad:) There are a few minor spelling/grammar things I can help with if your interested. Love you.
8/24/2014 c2 Guest
See a great beginning. Keep going. Dad:)
8/24/2014 c1 Guest
I like the start very much. Dad;)
8/24/2014 c3 Guest
This was great! Dad:)
8/22/2014 c3 Ralph Brew
What are Telmarines doing in the story? They haven't happened yet. Please check your Narnian time lines and when the land of Telmar was taken by the ancestors of the Telmarines. They don't belong here.
8/22/2014 c2 Ralph Brew
If the tower is going to be something they will never forget it sounds like it is the last time they will go there. As this is day 1 then maybe you need another expression.. At the very least the view from the tower needs to be described with the emotional and spiritual dimensions of the experience laid on so WE never forget. Also the passing of the day so quickly is not made clear. What time of day is it that Lucy woke up and had breakfast and how do the hours before evening get accounted for?
8/12/2014 c3 4FlightFeathers
I am beginning to like this story even more. It is refreshing to read a story that deals with the challenges the Pevencies faced in the Golden Age. I liked the way the characters were shown. Edmund's reluctance to learn was funny. I think that Edmund actually likes dancing. :)
8/10/2014 c3 27Cosette 24601
This is the first chapter to really catch my interest. Finally there's some sort of conflict so we can really see them acting as kings and queens and the story seems to have a bit more of a direction to head in now. I loved how Peter turned the condescending mollycoddling back around on the dwarf.
7/22/2014 c2 66Frodo's sister
Good story so far, very descriptive. I like how they explore the house.
7/20/2014 c2 May 14th
This story is beautifully descriptive and incredibly in-line with the source material. I am very impressed with your progress so far.
7/16/2014 c2 Izzy Iles
I love your descriptions! A lot of smiling, though I know it was purposeful. Also, I know this is keeping to the other names in the book, but "The Magnificent Northern Tower" is a bit of a mouthful and not very different from "north Tower" (which I know you also mentioned). It just seems strange that they would change it's name by adding an adjective. But anyways, I really liked it! I'm not sure how long reviews are supposed to be (this is Maria, btw lol).
7/15/2014 c2 4FlightFeathers
Again, wonderfully described. There were no complicated words, just simple words that managed to describe everything really well. Giving a description of even the smallest thing makes it hard for a reader to imagine. Because you don't do that, that's why I have started to like the way you write. There were some mistakes, but I will ignore them.

Can't wait for the next chapter! I hope you plan out the plot soon. :)
7/15/2014 c1 FlightFeathers
It was nice; it was well-written; it was not too descriptive, and not the least bit boring! I would advise you to let the Kings and Queens emotions be known. How they felt. How they enjoyed. It is good you didn't go to long details about the party and all. You managed to give an image in small sentences. So Kudos for that!
7/3/2014 c1 Malinda Thomas
I like it. You have made such detail, like 'The Sky became gray as the fires were finally allowed to die.'
Magnificent, I call it, and though I can't prove it, I certainly hope you are my Sibling in Christ. Though if you aren't you should delve deeper, and look for 'The evidence of things not seen.'

Malinda of Alleble
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