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for Pyre of the Lost

2/18/2015 c5 Guest
Oh my Jesus please update this. I fell madly in love with it. This is fantastic. It's perfect. I just...can't even describe how much I need more of this.
9/10/2014 c5 DeborahJ
I hope you haven't abandoned this story - you created a unique world, and I've really enjoyed what you've written so far!
7/27/2014 c4 Amanda Pall
Enjoyed tremendously. Can't wait to read more!
7/27/2014 c5 37EreshkigalGirl
Oh. My. Gosh! This is just gut -wrenching! What a horrible thing to have to go through, for both of them. I'm glad to see some of the backstory of this AU, with the marriage of Snow/MM to commoner David. So the political powers are Snow's kingdom, currently in disarray and in the middle of a fight for its existence; Regina's kingdom, which has no name; King George's kingdom (is Prince James still alive? Is he married to Jacqueline aka Jack?); Cora's kingdom; and possibly one other. I can't wait to find out how the war was started and why and who is allies with who and who everyone's enemies are. Not to mention, what are Killian and Emma going to do now? Will he stick with her, abandon her only to be drawn back in, or will she leave in the middle of the night and he has to find her?

Okay one little editorial question about this sentence:
"He watched her carefully as Emma raked a still shaking hand through her tumble of blonde curls, exhaustion etched into every orifice of her being." - Did you really want to use the word "orifice" right there? It just seems a little...odd. Maybe facet would be better? Surface? Detail? Cell? I'm just not sure how exhaustion can show from an orifice, is all.

Alright, two little editorial details, this one at the end:
"How about August? Can you tell me that had I not been there, he'd still be alive?" - I think what you meant was: "...had I not been there, he still would have died?" Because that is what she believes, that August would still be alive had she not come to him. She's asking, I think, for Killian to see that his blood is on her hands, therefore if she had not been there, he would not have died. Does that make sense?

Anyway, aside from those little grammatical points I saw, I'm really enjoying this and can't wait for more!
7/27/2014 c5 Nouqueret
Wonderful story! So very well writen ! Can't wait for the next chapter!
7/27/2014 c5 12fox24
I loved knowing more about them in this chapter
7/23/2014 c4 26bookstoreromantic
Really enjoying this story so far! Reading it, you get a great sense of the atmosphere and tension they're surrounded by and I'm looking forward to seeing how everything unravels. You've also done a great job so far of re-imagining OUAT characters for the story.
7/23/2014 c4 avasmom28681
This is a fantastic story! I can't wait to read more!
7/23/2014 c4 Nouqueret
This is a Fantástic story! It keeps you on the edge of your seat from the first word till the lást!
7/23/2014 c1 Guest
My favorite chapter so far! I like how you've blended elements of who the characters are in the series with your own world and put a twist on them. Can't wait for the next chapter!
7/23/2014 c4 12fox24
Loved August introduction and how Killain is protecting but doesn't want to admit it
7/22/2014 c3 37EreshkigalGirl
This is a really interesting AU. It sort of feels like a modern Game of Thrones with a ONCE twist. I like it so far. I can't wait to see what happens. These two are certainly in for a bumpy ride.
7/22/2014 c3 Amanda Pall
Really enjoyed that. Well woven plot. Can't wait tot read more of the story!
7/22/2014 c3 Nouqueret
Great. Story
7/22/2014 c1 12fox24
This story is good. It just grabs you
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