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for Righting A Wrong (A McRoll in the REAL World Story)

7/14/2014 c1 J
Wonderful story! Loved it!
7/13/2014 c1 MnemosyneMorrigan
first let my say: please, do not restrain yourself, write over 150 pages! :D I don't mind! :D

okay, so back to the story

I feel like I have to come up with new pharses and descriptions to depict my emotions and reactions for your stories, Sammy, because it's always the same - great, amazing, beautiful, outstanding! And I think it's getting boring. Also you deserve all the glorifying poems about you and your works! :))

The whole atmosphere of this story kept me mesmerized, enchanted even - those small, briefly mentioned details painting such a entincing and realistic word, which sucked me in. I could picture the city lights as Steve was sitting in that cab, feel the smell and faint jazz music at Iron Fairies, feel some kind of chilly breeze creeping under my skin as you led me step by step into this story.

Into Steve's emotions.

And it's so amazing to read about his inner battle, about the pain he felt and regret, but at the same time maintaining Steve's true nature, though competitive he's really respectful and thoughtful, he'd never try to get in between Catherine and any other guy, even if he still loved her. You're right, he is NOT that kind of guy. But at the same time, he feels almost physical pain while thinking of her with another.

What I always love in your stories - that both Steve and Catherine react to the smallest gestures, that no matter the situation if one of them smiles, the other instantly reciprocates it. Also the fact they don't play any games with each other. Sure, teasing and being playful is one thing, but I mean the way bringing back two people who were broken up usualy occurs in fiction - that the girl throws herself right away at the man; or she's all defensive and tries to hurt him in return. Here it's two mature people, who know each other too well and respect each other too much.

Now... excuse me, while I say... f*ck! That scene with the key was hot! Just a short glimpse, a sensual and seductive play of words, that was so deliciously dirty, mixed with the way he guided her hand... HOT!

and it's a perfect spice for this story, because with Steve and Catherine it's always about everything - they've missed every, the tiniest details, their presence, hearts, minds, playfulness, closeness, smiles, just simply everything. And sex was definitely high on this list, so this reunion had to be intense, needy, impatient even, as all of the longing and love was poured into it.

Aah, as always, amazing story, Sammy! :)) making me smile, and warming my heart and sigh contentedly. Beautiful.
7/13/2014 c1 Five-0 Fan
Man, the whole Billy Harrington era...or phase, lol...so glad it was short-lived.

Happy that Steve suffered a little after realizing how wrong he was for thinking he was doing the right thing. Silly boy. AND REALLY happy Catherine realized that it was always Steve...no one else could ever take his place.

Love that fate dragged them back together, slapping them in the face...glad they got it.
Steve's sincere apology and Cath's acceptance...I got teary-eyed...I have to admit it. Fools in love, I tell ya!

That is the most awesome reunion ever! Just...from needing the duffle bag as cover, to not waiting for the elevator, to the whole key-opening the door scene (omg!)...to all of those Barry White moments in the hotel...wow. :)

McRoll wrong, definitely righted in the REAL World! :)

Excuse me, I'm going back to read this again.
7/12/2014 c1 GraceGraceGrace
Awesome story! Sexy as hell, sexy as McG!

And also darling and sweet.

Perfect combo, just like McRoll. :)
7/12/2014 c1 GreenEyes09
Great story!
7/12/2014 c1 Guest
Wow, absolutely PERFECT! Keep up wih great work!
7/12/2014 c1 St
Wonderful story! Always love the dialogue and interaction between your characters. I agree with the other Guest...the shows producer and writers could take some lessons from you and the other writers of McRoll in the REAL World! Looking forward to more stories! :0)
7/11/2014 c1 Guest
Excellent! Definitely going to be rereading this one very soon! Any chance we are going to get another story with Steve getting to hear the whole story? Keep up the good work :)
7/11/2014 c1 8Lawsy89
Amazing as always. You never disappoint. Loved this!
7/11/2014 c1 349ilna
This is stellar. I've used that word one other time in a review, and I think you'll recall the occasion. You know how I feel about Moments in Time. I’ve been hoping you’d write this ever since that brief mention in that story months ago. I am so glad my “nice” requests finally paid off because, I repeat, this is stellar.

You strike such an amazing balance throughout this story - the emotions each is feeling at this meeting and the second chance they find together. It is an amazing experience to read.

The rhythm and pacing of the lines in the opening scene are outstanding. You break up his thoughts and they read so much more effectively than long paragraphs. Absolutely awesome structural choices.

Steve mentally listing the things Catherine loved about Iron Fairies - because of course Steve would remember every one. Incredible characterization there.

“How he steeled himself and repeated the words he had practiced in his head beforehand.” Heart-wrenching and again, incredible characterization - that he’d have practiced beforehand knowing how hard it would be once she was actually in front of him

And the memories of his actual words that day. Wow. I’ve said it before, but you did an incredible job of putting the reader right there, physically feeling those words along with Catherine. And your choice of words/reasons Steve uses is so completely on target. 100% on target.

His thoughts on their time apart and his realization that “There was something different about Catherine. Something that kept her in his heart and his soul in a way no other person ever had been.” Outstanding. So incredibly honest. Amazing job getting into Steve’s head.

Continuing with the perfect characterization - his reaction to the news about Cath and Billy, as well as his determination not to be “THAT guy”. Absolutely on point. Fantastic job.

“he sensed a familiar energy” - inspired!

Steve noticing details and deducing that she’s alone - more great characterization

Love that he’s not sure he’s ready to see her, but when he does approach, he immediately and automatically returns her broad smile

Aww, Grandma Ang and the Cubs. Thanks for that :-) (as Mari would say, for REASONS!)

“So how’s Harrington?” he asked as he fiddled with his empty glass and tried to appear nonchalant - FANTASTIC details to show Steve’s frame of mind. I can absolutely see that in my head.

“You’re a smart man, McGarrett. Figure it out.” LOVE. Love love love. Because she’s always challenged him, even with a grin on her face. Especially with a grin on her face.

Steve’s thoughts moving suddenly to second chances, etc. Fantastic paragraph. Just absolutely perfect.

Awesome switch to Catherine’s point of view - perfect spot to do so because we desperately want her perspective at this point

Again, you do an absolutely *incredible* job with the memories of the break-up. You portray her pain and stay completely true to Catherine’s character - particularly her continued and constant worry about his safety and well-being. Amazing job.

Also amazing is your description of her thoughts about Billy - because they are once again absolutely, 100% on target

And there it is - “Because he wasn’t you.” Perfection. Succinct, honest, straight-forward. Absolute perfection. I could read that exchange again and again and again.

Then his reaction - no words, just leans in and kisses her. Outstanding. Add in his thoughts of feeling grounded, at peace, where he belongs? Amazing. No other word for it. Such an incredible moment.

Steve wanting to reassure her he’s not just after sex - more excellent characterization

“I’ve always been out there somewhere on your side, Steve.” - and there is the heart of their deep and longstanding relationship. Even when they’re not together, they’re not out of each other’s thoughts, they still care deeply about each other as you’ve shown throughout this story. That’s another amazing moment

And then there’s another exchange that is so powerful. Steve’s “It’s not okay. I hurt you.” And Catherine readily admitting that’s true. But that he can make it right. That is an outstanding demonstration of the maturity that I know we both love about these characters and their relationship. One of my favorite parts of this story and I am so, so glad you included it.

And then one of my favorite lines of the story - “There will never be a time when what’s best for me will involve not being with you.” Oh. Wow. Every time I read it I need a moment to just take that in. It is absolutely beautiful. As is the way you show Steve reacting to it.

“Not now. Not ever.” Amazing way to end the scene. I told you earlier you could absolutely have ended the story here, but I’m SO glad you didn’t because what followed was equally fantastic and does *such* an amazing job of showing the many facets of their relationship

Outstanding job showing how they fall right back into their rhythm together, both verbally and physically

Oh, I just adore saucy Steve and Cath - absolutely fantastic innuendo in that opening hotel room scene. FANTASTIC!

Then an almost unbearably sweet moment - “I just like looking at you.”

And back to saucy - that “thinking about you” exchange definitely deserves a WOOT!

“I don’t even remember.” Oh, I laughed. Laughed out loud. Great moment.

And speaking of not remembering . . . love that she loses herself so completely she forgets they were talking about the shower :-)

“But first finish what you were doing.” Hee!

Fantastic image of Steve “banished” from the bathroom. Oh, I can see it. Leg bouncing and everything.

“Well that was a wasted shower.” :-)

Great detail to have Steve look back to make sure Cath is decent before opening the door

Milkshake! Yay! Continuity!

Love the descriptions of them eating - companionable, laughing, sharing stories. Then curling up in bed and watching a movie. Amazing view AGAIN of these two slipping right back into being a couple

I said it before - I LOVE the book metaphor. Amazing idea. Absolutely inspired. And ties in so wonderfully with the last line - which I love love LOVE - “I want to hear everything.” Because, as you’ve shown so totally and completely in this story, is that their relationship has so many facets and at it’s heart, are these two people who care so deeply about each other and whose lives are so inextricably intertwined.

This is a masterpiece, Sammy. I am in awe of what you’ve accomplished with this story. I will read it again and again. That's a promise.

I am THRILLED this is REAL World canon. Simply thrilled. Bravo, my friend.
7/11/2014 c1 3ToZiKa
Finally we know what happened to get them back together. Thanks to ilna for being persuasive and by the sounds of it a pain in the butt!
And would you look at that, they never made it to dinner. It's a miracle they've both avoided starvation for so long...
7/11/2014 c1 Guest
Great story! Keep up the good work. Mr. Lenovo should take a page from your stories and bring cath back.
7/11/2014 c1 9LuckyStarPham
Wow, Sammy, I'm in awe of you. This fic really reminds me of the first time I read your fic, and Cath's line "(That's easy). He wasn't you" has been one of my most favorite lines ever.

I love how Steve thought of the bar as Cath's favorite place and she has been constantly in his thoughts, in his heart. So touching. And Steve's bitterness when he thought of Harrington was sooooooo awesome and touching.

Their break-up was beautifully written. Not too much but it's enough to feel all the pain. At least I think I can feel the pain. It really really hurts. It seems that I can totally feel it. Love that feeling when I read emotional fics.

"There was something different about Catherine. Something that kept her in his heart and soul in a way no other person had ever been." - The REEL World should understand this. I just dont get why they dont see how important Cath has been to Steve :(

"Like I always say … you are handsome and smart." - Perfect line. The things involving Billy were addressed naturally btw McRoll and I love that. Btw, just a little thing, I always wish you could describe more their clothes, so that it would be easier for me to imagine them and by reading that, I could really LIVE in that moment along with Steve and Cath. But it was still beautiful.

"Because he wasn't you." - One of the best and most famous line in the REAL World, I must say :D Totally amazing.

And their kiss was so natural, like the most natural thing in the world. And this - "For the first time in months he felt at peace. He felt grounded. He felt like he was where he belonged. He placed his hand on her knee and moved to deepen the kiss." - was the definition of PERFECTION.

Their conversation just get to me everytime I read (read for several times already - and I love the feeling I'm having, so just wanna have it for a little while). I'm so emotional now.

And I love Steve wants to pay the bill. His money is always spent for Cath. The bill, her food, the Chicago album. Awwww, so cute. I cant stop myself from comparing this and with Danny lol. I'm so mean. But I'm so glad to see a Steve like this.

And the rest was sooooo THEM, so McRoll. Perfect characterization.

""The shower is a dangerous place," he leered from his position above her. "You could slip and fall and hit your head."" - The cutest thing I've ever read so far.

I just love Steve's act: "He crossed the room and, looking back to make sure she was sufficiently covered" - How thoughtful and protective he was. That's the Steve I knew and loved. Not anymore now :( To be honest, I have hard feelings towards Steve recently. These ugly feelings just dont go away :(

All in all, this fic written by you, Sammy, was totally beyond my expectation xoxo I can't thank you enough. Can't wait to read more. Love love love.
7/11/2014 c1 5NYR88
Love it! Love how each if them was drawn to the same bar. And loved the line "Because he wasn't you". Watching the show and her first convo with Billy that's the impression I got. She didn't continue with their relationship because he wasn't Steve.
7/11/2014 c1 SnowyRosie
This was the most beautiful heart-melting story anyone ever wrote! It was beautiful how they ended up together like they were supposed to be after their break! And I loved the part where Catherine said, we'll it wasn't you! Omg! That was really amazing! And the moments after like they were supposed to be for those two! Congrats for making this and thanks for sharing with us! Can't wait for the 150 pages ;)
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