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for Dancing amidst Destruction

11/7/2015 c8 68CraftyNotepad
Welcomed return, wordsfromNeverland.
First, thank you for the invitation to read this, your latest chapter. Awfully decent of you, Chum. Your story has been on my mind, hoping you'd pick it up again soon. Thank you.

Next, on your treatment of the reproductive countdown, it isn't easy to include such a long device when for ten - count them, ten - points in the story your readers know what will occur next. Normally, that kind of predictability drags down a story at best. Your take on "3-2-1" comes off as "clever," "humorous," and "well thought out." So captivated by the interesting ways you had crafted those simple numbers into your story, I found myself all but ignoring Keely's countdown. You did a eight job - I mean, "great!"

So, the Doctor and Phil wrapped things up on their end, and now we get to the true and classic dilemma: a damsel in distress. You've done terrific work featuring Keely in this story, even the Time Lord has taken a shine to our girl. Making her important to the Doctor doesn't guarantee her survival. It pretty much drops her chances of a happy ending down to a very low number. Sniffle. Gonna miss Teslow. ("Miss Teslow," Hah!) Then again, you've included the Doctor's remedy for her condition, a temporal antidote as it were, and placed it in Diffy's hands. So much like a mystery writer to distract your readers with the obvious. Not gonna fall for it, wordsfromNeverland. Can't fool me ... forever, because I'm going to keep reading here, as you've clearly a lesson in store for us by pairing these time runaways together.

See you next time.

Best
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Okay, all right, you probably can.
5/16/2015 c7 CraftyNotepad
First the Weepers (aka You, wordsfromNeverland) pluck Jimmy out of the here and now, stranding him alone (sans Evelyn), probably in some awful backwater, such as the early days of the Pickford Mission, or worse, back in the Stone Age pointlessly trying to teach Curtis's peep the Charlston. Next, Phil's endangered (the Doctor's helpers have a nasty habit of being useful to him, yet not making it to the closing credits), and, just when I'm focusing on your new intention to axe Diffy, you provide Keels with what has to be the worst social disease this side of Kreebolok 7. What's the matter, couldn't dig up a red shirt for Keely's boyfriend to put on? Now, Phil and Keely are up to the task of dealing with a nosey neighbor, a missing goalpost, or maybe - MAYBE - Phil's little sister Pim on a good day with the wind at their backs. (Now, Pim? She'd give these Angels something to be weeping about! Have bulldozer, will travel, gonna smash.) But the Doctor and Rose don't rumble with school bullies; they take down monsters. (Excluding the afore mentioned Pim. This time lord does have his limits no matter how much his companion attempts to bolster his self-confidence.) Phil's clearly out of his league, while Keely has stepped up in every instance. If the Doctor should have anyone along with him next chappie, it's Miss Teslow. Blondie shines.

But it's Phil's Wizrd. His version of the Sonic Screwdriver, which makes one ponder why the Doctor's even more futuristic pocketknife he carries around, depending upon in times of dire straits, sports fewer blades than Phil's. Easy Boys, it's not a matter of whose is bigger, but c'mon, "invisibility"? Doc, you'd use invisibility much more frequently than wood manipulation. (Again, not trying to sound dirty around two guys known for their tools …) Whatever. Being in the Doctor's shadow, Phil's obviously insecure and desires to usurp the Timelord from being the one Keely's admiring. … maybe this is high school and the Angels are just another misunderstood clique.

Nah.

I was worrying that this story was wrapping up all too quickly. Now, with Keely's acquired obsession with counting down, you've relieved my concern elegantly.

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2/27/2015 c7 Michael
Oh this story featured the tenth Doctor. O.k then.
2/18/2015 c6 Michael
I like but I have one question. Which doctor is this the 9th or the 10th. I was guessing the 9th but then the weeping angles showed up.
1/1/2015 c6 CraftyNotepad
This is a quickly delivered new chapter of your mystery, wordsfromNeverland. Quite the pleasant close of the old year, and time travelers know years. I appreciate your style of being descriptive without becoming laborious, which is to say that you appreciate your readers' intelligence by describing what needs to be illustrated, while happily giving us credit for possessing sufficient brain cells to connect some of the dots without your assistance. You've done a fine job of laying out Jimmy and Evelyn's backstory in this installment. (Applause)

Your choice for antagonists (not my favorite Dr. Who villain, but now that I consider it, I don't have a fondness for any enemy of The Doctor) have been portrayed in character until maybe just at the end. I didn't so much mind their dust covers, though the image of them under sheets without eye holes trying to manage moving about the basement à la blind man's bluff is down right hilarious. But the rules for these chrono vampires seems to have found a new paradigm. Now the idea that Weeping Angels would congregate when just the sight of one another freezes them in stony paralysis seems awfully dimwitted for a time lord's foe, but with everyone save Jimmy looking at Weepy, how could the Angel sweep Jimmy from his peeps? These gargoyles can't even endure a mirror to help them shave.

Okay, I realize now that just nerded myself better than if I had argued against the radioactive properties of kryptonite being used to safely irradiate bags of jelly babies, so I'll stop and just say, "well done" for the excellent presentation of this chapter. You didn't allow the four time travelers to steal the spotlight because this wasn't about them and how great they are; this chapter was for Evelyn and Jimmy to share their story. (Applause squared)

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12/21/2014 c5 CraftyNotepad
Thank you kindly, wordsfromNeverland, for this wonderful present just in time for the holidays. Were you reading my mind about wanting to hear more about the adventures of my favorite bunch of time travelers? Lloyd can really be seen in both Phil's disbelief of what he doesn't already have knowledge of as well as his focus on Keely's safety and enjoyment. Keely, very much like The Doctor, chooses to do the right thing, rather than be one of the "happy people." As is standard, your clear writing is flawless and making me uneasy with concern about Keely becoming a new companion for The Doctor once this tale comes to an end. The only problem I find in Dancing amidst Destruction lies with FanFiction, as when I attempt to read Chapter 6, nothing happens. Really, I tried repeatedly! It's not April Fool's Day for months yet, so that can't be the cause of my woe. Well-timed cliffhanger, though.

Rose, though referred to in this chapter, might as well have been a portable coat rack. You had a plethora of companions to pick from and you went and picked another blonde. (Sigh) So be it. Use her to help we mere Earthlings fear, marvel, second guess, and attempt to understand what her madman with a box is up to. She's his Doctor Watson, after all, so the story should be told from her perspective often. If Keely can do it, then Rose can, too, by golly.

Looking forward to your description of The Doctor pulling of a jitterbug almost as much as finding the next chappie in my stocking.

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12/19/2014 c5 1WaywardAF
You need to update. Like now. I love the conflict between the Doctor and Phil. Though I hope they aren't conflicted the entire fic, I would love to see them come together at some point. They're both very headstrong people and I think it's so important you included that. In general- characters are ON POINT. Keely is magnificent. I love how her personality is portrayed and her interactions with both Rose and the Doctor. I feel like Rose and Keely are going to create a bond that will prove beneficial later on. The premise is fantastic. And the way you set it up even better. The Doctor always stumbles upon something, and I love that it's angels. Great job including 1920s terms and fashion (it's the little details that really matter). Though it's a crossover, I am really enjoying how it is slightly PotF-centric, as it is a fandom that really needs more exposure. As well as plot development, I really hope you develop the PhilxKeely aspects as well. Awesome fic!
11/14/2014 c4 68CraftyNotepad
Welcomed return, wordsfromNeverland,

It must be said that this was a harder wait than holding our breaths between once-a-monthly rebroadcasts of PotF. How flavorful was this latest morsel? Let us consider …

The Doctor Who vibe is definitely present. A mystery in motion beyond the perception of an ordinary human being, his companion actually being involved (rather than existing merely as arm candy), and the doctor throwing himself into solving this problem with his Holmesian method and intellect. Particularly pleasing is the Doctor's recognition of the not-smart (at math) girl; it is so characteristic of his personality to notice and appreciate attributes in others which can not be measured by state-sponsored academic exams.

Speaking of personality, there's that blonde girl again. No, the other one. Well, both of them, actually. While Rose was busy being his eyes and tugging on the Time Lord's sleeve so he wouldn't miss was was going on right in front of him, it would have been nice to have this Gallifreyan's sidekick's personality more on display. A little more cockiness in our Cockney accomplice, please. On the other hand, the appearance of the other pale-haired waif in the story cannot be denied. "Sparkly-shoes" shines in this installment, particularly when she has something to say and by the manner in which she draws attention to her need to share. Brilliant direction, Author.

Phil. He's adrift in Rose's level of noticeability in this chapter. Now, that's fine and all. Phil shouldn't be expected to have most of the answers - not when the Doctor's on call, and solving mysteries isn't so much his forte as defusing his little sister's schemes before they blow up in his family's faces. Phil, star of his own series, isn't so easy to write for when he's not the center of the story, but circling 'bout the focus. Phil is Micky Mouse. Yes, I said the M-word. Mickey doesn't play second banana to anyone, mouse fans object, but I would say otherwise - with the caveat of identifying which Mickey we're looking at.

There's Mickey #2, the modern Mickster. He reacts to the chaos around him. Chaos created by Goofy, Minnie, Pluto, Clarabelle Cow, and Donald. Well-meaning Goofy lacks common sense and goes through life oblivious of what is not right in front of him. Mick's sweetheart Minnie exists primarily to provide him with problems to solve and a girlfriend to impress and woo. Pluto is the only actual animalistic pal in Mickey's universe of close friends (not counting his goldfish) and while no one seems to understand him or his pain, this dog also finds humor in the conflicts others endure. Pluto is loyal to a fault. Clarabelle C. provides complimentary balance for Goofy, a tall yin for his tall yang (which might sound dirty, but it isn't), giving them both some altitude, and thus the appearance of authority, over the shorter mouses, mices, um … mice. Clar doesn't say much, but when she does speak, mice would be wise to listen. Then, there's the duck. Loud, troublesome, doing what he wants, Don is self-centered, sneaky, and loudly complains how everyone is against him when he's caught doing what he knew was wrong. These characters provide the whirlwinds of energy in Mickey's adventures.

But don't forget the original Mickey! He was bold! A fighter! And not above playing practical jokes upon his dog Pluto and the rest. He was alike the pest of a big brother which Phil's sister complained about in Season One. MM#1 did things. He was interesting … which was his downfall. People liked him, they takes about him, and he became a (SHUDDER!) role model. No more pistol shooting exchanges with Peg-Leg Pete (how could he fire at the handicapped?). No more sword fighting with the Phantom Blot (fun until someone loses an eye) and stop teasing your poor doggy (ASPCA anyone?).

Now, plug in our favorite Phil of the Future main characters in the above descriptions (yes, you can use Vice-Principal Hackett for Peg-Leg Pete - after all, baldness is a handicapping condition as far as Neil is concerned) and you'll discover that it's a complete surprise that Phil of the Future was ever even considered for "hiatus" - let alone "cancellation" - as there was nothing more "Disney" than PotF.

By using Mickey #1 - Phil Diffy of Season One - Phil's status in this tale would ascend. His family is away, he's having an adventure running away with Keely, and there's no Pim to have to be nice to around anymore, so cut the boy some slack and let him (try to) show-off a bit more for Keely, even to the Doctor's annoyance. We might be smirking loudly as Keely earns the Doctor's ear, while her cool boyfriend from the future tries to be the BMOC (Big Man Of Century) and discovers that with the Doctor around, he's no more capable of being the brainiac of this century than he was being the know-it-all in his 21st Century history class with Keely. Smirk, smirk.

The Doctor? You have him down pat. Keely? Teslow is easily recognizable - no, more than that - you have her outdoing herself with Keelyness, thank you. Rose? Well, seeing a little protectiveness for her traveling companion would be welcomed, even some their, shall we dare say "junior-senior-high-school"-level romantics coming to the surface would delight us. With Pheely in the wings giving an example, even the suggestion of a little "playing doctor" in the TARDIS would neither be out of place nor time. The four of them make such a cute couple of couples, you matchmaker, you. Each running away with a partner from another time. Just , please down't let Rose and the Doctor completely fill in for the roles of P&K's parents; it's time for Phil and Keely to discover if they have what it takes to make the big decisions on their own.

Terrific presentation of colloquial speech patterns, and I'm continuing to love your choice of vocabulary: Validate. Perfectly keeping with the flavor of the mad man with the blue box.

Speaking of "flavor," this chappie was a tasty one. Swallowing, I feared it's taste going down was going to be too brief and excessively spiced with further character introductions. Pleasantly surprised, the storyline doesn't slow down and you remembered that your readers are familiar with at least one of the two shows you're managing to successfully intertwine. Delicious!

See? My plate is clean, wordsfromNeverland, and I'm still hungry for more. May I have another helping, please?

Best
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8/5/2014 c3 CraftyNotepad
Chapter Three is the cat's pajamas, wordsfromNeverland. You're likely becoming bored as a student listening to yet another mind numbing lecture by Messerschmitt, but with scans by both future tools fail to find any flaws, this is becoming a series of fan letters. Your writing presents itself as polished and its delivery well thought out. Particularly well crafted is Phil and Keely's private conversation. Normally, two teens who haven't seen one another for two years would have a lot to say, which would lead to a lot of passive flashbacks, but we're spared this. You point out (especially polite for non-PotF Whovians) that while Keely's life has been unful-Philed when it comes to her best friend, he's only experience a day away from her, so Keely feels no need to catsup. (Sorry, Phil.)

Loved Keely's 2001 moment with the Doctor's do-dad. Hilarious!

Now that you've gathered the entire gang together, the mystery can ensue.

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8/1/2014 c2 CraftyNotepad
A blonde teenaged girl dressed in 21st Century garb? A shiny doohickey missing? How did Pim get there? Never mind. It's not important right now. What deserves attention is your delivering another entertaining chapter, wordsfromNeverland, with two more solid portrayals of entirely different temporal tourists. I'm eating up your fine wordsmithing; it adds such richness to the story being enjoyed. Although you're obviously writing this for established fans of both shows by not explaining what would be obvious to to us (such as slightly psychic paper), your writing comes across as supportive for new readers unfamiliar with either series, as well. Kudos!

A BIG dance hall, yep, that was the style from an age gone by and a detail I enjoyed finding, along with your description of a very pre-plastic office. Also tickling my fancy was how quickly you established the Dr. Who formula of new place, new mystery to solve, and placing the very experience time lord on the defensive and already running away all in the first installment. Allons-y!

I never knew Pim Diffy had a shoe fetish, though ...

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7/28/2014 c1 CraftyNotepad
Welcome wordsfromNeverland,

A very engaging first chapter! It really pulls readers along the story. Love how you've incorporated new PotF-esque imagery into your story, and the the new time machine is a hoot - even if it isn't any more accurate than its predecessor when it comes to coming to a full stop. Plenty of references to elements in the series to support our picturing what's going on. (No mention yet about how much taller Keely has shot up since Phil last held her.)

"eternal sadness" … great imagery that you readers will empathize with.
Little spelling corrections for key words would spiff up future chapters nicely. (Keely, skyak)

What an amazing story this promises to be … and your first, to boot!

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btw … sonic screwdriver vs. a Wizrd? No contest!
7/14/2014 c1 1WaywardAF
Fantastic beginning! I can't wait to see where the Doctor comes in!

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