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for The Little One

12/28/2017 c2 not
First off, the story was fine and cute, so good job. But now I’m just going to criticize a bit so that you can make other writings better. Firstly, you should run all of the names through some sort of translator because (not sure if you meant it) but you named one of the girls City (Machi). Secondly, you should practice using grammar techniques such as tense usage and misplaced modifiers (so basically commas) because sometimes it can get confusing to read. But otherwise very nice work!
2/20/2015 c2 30MissFaerieKaiti
Awww, the fluff and love and aaahhhh! x3 Love it, adorable! x333
2/20/2015 c1 MissFaerieKaiti
Awww, this was adorable! I had the biggest smile on my face throughout the whole thing! So sweet! x3
1/17/2015 c2 9April Twelving
very beautiful!
8/20/2014 c1 10Mangalove
That was a really cute story 3

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