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for Naruto: DxD

8/18/2022 c2 6Super Sonic Wind
not bad for a story. once you reach 5k words and gain access to beta reading I could use one since as you can tell I'm a little rough around the edges when it comes to writing a story. one reason my stories have spacing issues is because I thought of them on the fly and didn't write them down in a notebook beforehand.
1/26/2022 c1 XLR8wuzhere
Continue! It’s been 7 years!
12/1/2020 c1 54Dragonlord0
12/1/2020 c2 Dragonlord0
I want more.
6/1/2020 c2 Starlord Master
Dang man.

Happy June!
6/1/2020 c1 Starlord Master
2/24/2019 c2 Random Amaturer
great chapter but please please don't turn Naruto into reincarnation devil
1/18/2019 c2 Borello
the story sound interesting.
8/30/2017 c2 Guest
Please continue this story.
4/19/2017 c1 2Lil Author Vert
W-why? There is no reason for him having to learn how to use his powers again! It's in wvery fanfiction and it makes the story so boring, unless there are timeskips. Other than that, no. There is no excuse for him having to learn how to use his powers again. Makes no damn sense.
3/6/2016 c2 Codename-ShadowFox
Since you were nice enough to read and review my story I thought I'd do the same. Now as a fellow author I would never tell another how to write or that the way they write their own story is wrong but seeing as this is your first story I only mean the this as advice.

You've fallen into a trap that almost every new writer (myself included) has done at some point in their life. That trap being 'God-mode' now while some stories can pull off god-mode either on the basis of the story intentionally being an overpowered MC or if it's just done really well.

The reason why this is a trap is because if your MC can just stomp on anything in his path then there is no tension, no conflict and little character development since he's already reached the top and can't go much higher.

In this case you made Naruto the Juubi, ok sure, there are plenty of stories that do this and pull it off, the thing is that you also gave him the Boosted Gear. Literally just using it once he's Juubix2. I'm not sure since this is all fiction but I'm pretty sure he would implode from having that much power suddenly flood his body instantly.

Other than that I think it's a fine first attempt at a story and really the only thing that annoyed me was Naruto spilling his life story to Rias simply because she asked him to, but that's just a personal pet peeve of mine since Naruto doesn't do anything of the sort in the canon story and more often that not just makes vague references to his own experiences to relate to other people.

Anyway best of the luck with the story mate!
3/5/2016 c2 A Reading Maestro
Dude you should rewrite the scene, Naruto won't just go and tell people(and a devil to boot) about his life he will just tell them what Bijuus are and then tell them he's the Juubi so rewrite that please and PLEASE UPDATE OR...YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A BAD TIME!
1/16/2016 c2 Guest
I love it please update and continue the story pllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssssssssssssasssssssSsssssseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
10/11/2015 c2 j.manarang822
Good work, the idea is decent but it sort of lacking. I think you just need to add a bit of flavor with the dialogue and put some description with the characters interactions. Decent grammar but still have a room for improvement. Overall 7/10. If you need a proof reader for spelling mistake or grammar errors just pm me. BTW its takoyaki but I'm sure you know that already.
10/6/2015 c2 DesuVult
great story though it kinda fast paced oh well anyway can you add rosseweisse to naruto's harem
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