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9/27/2015 c7 4ArgentRoseSableWolf
Sorry, I'll be leaving this story now, as it seems to be turning into massive Snape and Malfoy revisionism. Snape isn't REALLY a bitter, nasty abusive snot, just strict. And apparently Lucius being helpful now justifies ignoring his murderous past. Can't say I have any interest in stories that try to whitewash scum.

Good luck with you work,

Wolf
9/21/2015 c5 ninja888
I was enjoying this story until your irrational fondness for Lucius Malfoy surfaced in this chapter. Mind-boggling really. I found myself severely disappointed. I am glad I have only read five chapters. Good Malfoy - such an oxymoron.
9/21/2015 c42 5The Daughter of Padfoot
Great story! ! I just found it today and I'm stuck, let me tell you . I hope you update soon. I really love it.
9/18/2015 c42 1Lady Nyshah
Can't wait for more!
9/15/2015 c36 Guest
Just a note, there's a reason the Unforgivables are unforgivable. As Bellatrix says when Harry tries to use the cruciatus curse on her, you have to mean it. Righteous angerand such won't work. For the Cruciatus, you have to want the victim to suffef, for the Imperius you have to want to subjigate the victim and force them to obey and for the killing curse, you have to want to murder them- hence why Moody/Crouch says he doubts anyone in Harry's class could do more than give him a nosebleed despite it being the *Killing* curse, because they lack the desire and intent to murder without remorse.
9/14/2015 c42 Guest
fantastic story hope you update soon. I really love the different threads running through it, in particular the baby Malfoy thread. I do hope you write everything going to plan for them as the longing for a baby and the fear of loss is palpable in your writing.
9/15/2015 c42 csheila
Outstanding. Well written, researched, and plotted.

Looking forward to rest.

I really like your Harry
9/11/2015 c42 Guest
Just found this today and read through it with great pleasure.

You have a flair for story telling and it's been great to see your tale unravel from the initial incident to bring the focus on making Harry's life better to setting up what I hope will be some kind of denouement for Dumbledore in the climax of your tale.

If I was being critical, I'd argue that the whole 'keeping-Harry-with-Petunia-so-Dumbles-isn't-tipped-off' is very contrived. Especially the whole Sirius and Harry pretend to meet and hate each other plot.

I'm not a fan of real people in fanfic but I think you're mostly sensitive to the time/era and the delicacy of real life events, and you manage to set out an interpretation of what might have happened behind closed doors which is respectful enough of all parties that it comes across as well-judged. I do worry that you might consider a Sirius/Di flirtation which I think would push the boundaries here of using real people in supplementary fashion to the fictional but ultimately it's your fic.

I see your last update was a while ago but I hope you are continuing, real life allowing. It's a good fic and I'm surprised it hasn't garnered more reviews and support.
9/13/2015 c42 2JannaKalderash
Excellent update. And may I say that I was not surprised at Dudley's treatment of his pet rats?

Although, Harry should keep Petunia in the loop about them, if only to stave off any questions from her when she goes to clean the little pig's room.

Just don't let Marge give that little blob of suet a bulldog. Harry is bound to still have bad memories of Ripper, and god forbid it would get loose and start biting other kids, it'd be put down in an eyeblink.
9/5/2015 c42 Runecutter
Oh a really enjoyable read and one of the most ambitious storylines i must have seen in at least two years. And to boot you managed to bring the royal family into it without looking like cheap cardboard cutouts with pencil written "insert princess here" notes on them... that is really, really rare.
Also you build up a pleasant amount of tension and thrill with the two competing storylines of how Harry gets prepared for entering the wizarding world (and Dumbledore's big kickdown is set into motion) and how to take down the Dark Lord hopefully before he has a chance at returning and starting up his reign of terror once more.
I can't await to find out where those two big lines are going.

Which brings me to the two only points of critique i have after reading through what's basically a whole novel worth of story in like three days' leisure time.

The speed seems slightly out of balance... you're a year into the story, 42 chapters and 213k words... and it's still the preparation stage of the story. Nothing really decisive is happening but all things leading up to... Stephen's future career, Harry's Hogwarts Days, the changes Sirius and Lucius plan to implement... the baby, the divorce, the destruction of the last Horcrux... all still waiting to happen and forcing "us" readers to wait too. Basically the only part of the story rich in highlights is the slow return to humanity by Petunia Whassname (We did not hear who her birth parents were... hmmm another step in the squib lines / muggleborns ladder? Thrown out by a pureblood family perhaps?) Maybe a problem is that you have all these small little scenes, moments and events (like the Yule Log ceremony) you want to share but you have not really put down the big storylines and seen where they will lead and where they might have small in between climaxes to keep up the pacing of the story?
The other effect this has is somewhat turning the switch in the Malfoys from the book characters (see the world cup or how Lucius acts when he puts the diary in Ginny's school things or at the Ministry in book 5 when they fight...) into an near instantaneous miracle conversion. Every time they hear about a muggle thing they go all Awwww and Whoooowiee and instantly adopt it as the new standard of their world view... honestly? That's incredible. Give them a bit more time, time to appreciate the muggleborn Stephen, time to compare traditions and lifestyles without always being so incredulously fast convinced that muggles are awesome and should be respected even if they're of the lower classes and barely know how to comport themselves... Your timeline gives you about two years to make the required changes and about half of that will be the time around the "getting pregnant" thing... Which would make a great convincing argument for the Malfoys, but only after the little girl was born healthy and magical. But we're not that far now, we only have spent like... 8 months or so in this 24 month story. You should really have used more of that time.

And the other point is that even though you've basically stayed away from too much magic it already shows that you've not got a really good handle on JKRs spell building style. Simply making up a command sentence, putting it into Google translate or the Babbelfish and use the resulting latin phrase as a "magic spell" does not cut it. JKRs spells are instantly recognizable, they are more often than not short and precise and except a very small number like the killing curse (which still sounds a bit like "I want (you to be) a cadavre") they are instinctively understandable by anybody speaking english. Three word sentences like Narcissa used in the vaults to find the Horcrux candidates read horrid, look ridiculous and feel simply wrong and not the least bit "HP-y"
My suggestion for that case would have been "Spiritem Revelio" which fits much better into the known spells and builds both on things like the Wingardium Leviosa (accusativ case) and both the Specialis Revelio and Homenum Revelio known from book 7... After all you do not need to sense the presence of a SPELL binding a soul to the object if you can reveal that a piece of soul is inside it, how could it be otherwise than by (dark) charmwork?

But of course having just these two major points of critique after being almost through half of Chamber of secrets with the word count shows that there is not much wrong with your story and i absolutely like your prose and dialogue. Please keep up the hobby, this definitely deserves an awesome ending and a fully concluded storyline.
9/3/2015 c42 13Unseen Watcher
A wonderful fic. Here's to great changes. I actually hope he goes to a school other than Hogwarts...and either gets really good at Occlumency or a protective amulet/ring.
Thank you for sharing this idea and going to all the effort to write and update it.
9/2/2015 c42 2katiiii
I love this Story especially Lucius Malfoy. He is great but also Stephen and Princess Di and the Princes not to forget Harry.
Please continue (puppy eyes)
Katiiii
8/24/2015 c42 14Lord PotterXXVII
I chanced upon this masterpiece by accident the other day and loved every word of it. Despite what a few of your other reviewers have said, don't listen to them about their stupid babble about heritage and pedigree. The royals and the Malfoys make a highly original and interesting twist as you've done what you have in a very different way to anything else I've seen or written. The way you stripped the Malfoys down and reassembled them to the point where Draco and Lucius have become good people was great as normally I can't stand either of them and wished they'd both gotten what they deserved in canon. I only hope that you don't take Harry out of Hogwarts, even if you're doing manip Dumbledore. There's ways and means to deal with him without resorting to ruining the entire premise of the series. The other things I hope you do is to firstly bring in Hermione, preferably early maybe as a new student to Harry's class. That'd make a nice prelude to a new Hogwarts trio without Ron thus creating the beginnings of a Harmony pairing for the rest of the fic. Secondly, consider making one of Harry's classmates a muggleborn and pairing them with Draco, that would be totally original, nice to read and be a nice way to destroy the blood bigotry.
8/14/2015 c42 Forrest Edyne
That was a great chapter. I like where this story is going so far, I hope you can continue all through Harry's school years, I'd really like to see what you do with them. Keep up the good work!
8/14/2015 c42 jodic
hi, I think you've got a good story there, and I read it all in one go.
here are some things that made me pause along the line, or that I think are a bit of a stretch... maybe you'll find it helpful.
- the Malfoys having such problems with muggle medical terminology: Since a lot of it stems from Latin, I think they would be able to pick up the new words rather easily. It's not like complicated words are inventions of muggles - if anything, you would expect more archaic, complicated language from the magicals. And I think that the old families would all teach their kids Latin.
- Harry being especially smart, for example with the goblins... I think you overdid it a little.
- Malfoys changing their mind so radically, and so often. Feels like too much forced redemption.
- The whole royal family bit makes me cringe, but that's a major part of your story, so... anyway. I think it's a bit weird to involve "real" people in a story like that... and then have Diana say that she thought Charles really loved her. All seems a bit much. I hope that you don't intend for Diana and Sirius to end up together. But it's not my decision, you're the author... hope it doesn't seem like I'm trying to tell you what to do...
- Sirius deciding not to have children because of his detailed understanding of "jenner-ticks"... I hope some talks him out of that. As long as he procreates with someone whose ancestors aren't on the Black family tree, it should be ok. best would be a muggle from another continent... get some fresh information into that genetic swimming pool...

Well. this is a lot of negative commentary, but that's just how I roll . It's all meant to be constructive, and overall I like what you've written so far.

here's an idea I had based on your portrayal of the Malfoys: what if Lucius offered a kind of scholarship to recent Hogwarts graduates to get to them to study both muggle and magical healing, with a focus on pregnancy-doctoring (at least at first)... Lucius beomes the patron of a new wave of medical innovation, first in the magical world, and eventually maybe even some crossover into the muggle world...

that's it from me.
best,
jodic
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