Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Beneath the Red Moon

7/24/2014 c1 4DrakefireAtomic
I think you should have Inner Moka be a separate person from outer. Don't know why but I like the stories that have them separate and you did it very well in Embracing your Inner Demon, so I think that would be interesting this time.
Also it would be interesting to see both Inner and Outer find out he is a mob member and Inner not caring that much while Outer is freaking out along with the others.
7/24/2014 c1 Uranos
Mh not bad idea but since Naruto is member of the huang family there is the questions of far naruto is in his youjutsu and why he doesnt use the jingen-tou like ling-ling, his great-grandfather or akua. Its pretty much his heirage of the clan. Well look foward to the next chapter.
7/24/2014 c1 2AzureNight1994
you should do what you did in embracing your inner demon :D
7/24/2014 c1 spook666
It's a good story so far it definitely makes me interested. You should do a inner and outer moka story.
7/24/2014 c1 Guest
I want to say the "Embracing Your Inner Demon" is a fantastic story if you decide to rewrite keep the original elements that make the story so good because the splitting of both sisters as twins was a great idea, and also the plot about Naruto being exiled from the village, and going to this school is fantastic, and I especially love the amount of hate that he has for Sakura.

This new story you wrote is very good but remember Werewolves can't compare to Vampires in terms of power, and Moka is not your average Vampire because she is a Shinso who are considered the highest rank of monsters, and the only monster that can fight and defeat a Shinso is a Phoenix. The other problem with the relationship is that Werewolves are mortal, and don't have a immortal lifespan like Vampires because that will a problem, and Werewolves and Vampires are mortal enemies in Rosario Vampire they normally outright hate each other.
7/24/2014 c1 deadmannn112
i like it i can't wait for more
7/23/2014 c1 Blood D. Cherry
next chap pls
7/23/2014 c1 Z.Z
but i really like how you do the twins, however i guess the end result is up to you. so far i am really liking this story as naruto is a werewolf and not a vampire/human/kitsune by kyuubi standard/bijuu-thingy. you would think more people would have done a werewolf naruto story but nooooo. anyway i can't wait to see what you cook up next, and i really hope that while naruto is a werewolf he will be vastly different from gin. my vote still goes out to the twins though. i just don't like the idea of the real moka being sealed cause she pawns the shadow in spades.
7/23/2014 c1 dood 21
put the twins in man, put the twins in.
7/23/2014 c1 Waffle192
alright decent enough but I reaaly cant jusge it until he gets to the school update soon dude
7/23/2014 c1 1Infact Person am I
It's nice to see you posting, and a new, good looking story is nice news, but I'm a big fan of Embracing Your Inner Demon, and I'd like to see you continue the story. Even if you have lost inspiration for it at the moment, the story is still great, and although I can't see what your unhappy with about it, I feel out would be better for you to continue with what you have written, since an overhaul of everything you've written so far might ruin the story as it was. Something you might want to do is to get a beta reader or a co-author, side even if you have lost inspiration, someone else always has fresh ideas and can help you get back into a nice pace for writing. Besides, I find that almost all stories before more developed and well written with more than 1 contributor.

That's my piece, but I'll read whatever you decide to do anyway, so have fun writing and good luck.
7/23/2014 c1 Guest
Awesome chapter I really like the spin were naruto's a werewolf don't think I've read any like that before hope to read more
7/23/2014 c1 Ghul
why not just give her a normal seal instead of the whole clone thing that she can remove on her own not to sound mean but is outer moka really needed but then to be fair I now hate outer moka after finding out who she is to me it just destroyed the whole romance to me It just says moka I really love your mom but im going to settle for you now that's she is gone yeah I am a little bitter. Or you can have outer moka and naruto have brother sister relationship
7/23/2014 c1 8ImpliedParanoia
Well im interested. Regarding the MOka situation i must say that i was a huge fan of how you portrayed Inner and Outer as twins but in the end its up to you.

As for EyID i really hope you dont abandon it. That story is my favorite in this crossover.
7/23/2014 c1 Reviewer
I reckon keeping it canon but having Naruto care for both the real Moka and the fake outer one as well.

In the early story Tsukune and the other girls really only saw her as weapon to save the day every fight. With Naruto there you could have him do things like letting her out for fun or asking for her opinion on things.
231 « Prev Page 1 .. 4 11 12 13 14 15 .. Last Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service