12/9/2014 c1 19Moon Lantern
Interesting... How did Sansa get the time to smuggle Arya out, was she not under house arrest? Is there a reason why Littlefinger would help Arya escape when he betrayed Ned in the first place? Also isn't Shae meant to be in the Riverlands with Bronn and Tyrion at this point.
I think we have a major issue of OOC here because Catelyn saw Jon as a threat to the inheritance of the other Starks, and I don't understand (as Lord Commander Mormont points out to Jon) what Jon can actually give to Robb that he doesn't have already, since he is literally one man who can swing a sword. Plus he kind of has already taken the black. Lol! ;)
I think you need to watch your speech punctuation and paragraphs because sometimes it's unclear as to who's speaking (Catelyn or Robb?).
Not a bad basic idea though. Does that help?
Interesting... How did Sansa get the time to smuggle Arya out, was she not under house arrest? Is there a reason why Littlefinger would help Arya escape when he betrayed Ned in the first place? Also isn't Shae meant to be in the Riverlands with Bronn and Tyrion at this point.
I think we have a major issue of OOC here because Catelyn saw Jon as a threat to the inheritance of the other Starks, and I don't understand (as Lord Commander Mormont points out to Jon) what Jon can actually give to Robb that he doesn't have already, since he is literally one man who can swing a sword. Plus he kind of has already taken the black. Lol! ;)
I think you need to watch your speech punctuation and paragraphs because sometimes it's unclear as to who's speaking (Catelyn or Robb?).
Not a bad basic idea though. Does that help?
7/27/2014 c1 Lord-of-the-Dance-is-She
This is great, I never thought of it like another targaryan extinction.
This is great, I never thought of it like another targaryan extinction.