for The Roboutian Heresy1/19/2016 c11 Van Erik Lucasan
Excellently done!... very immersive and engaging piece of work you made here... lots of plot twists and turns i failed to see coming... please make the next chapter quick!... make one about the Salamanders next!... Winged Dragon-Wyrm Chaos Space Marines and more? What's not to be excited about that?
Excellently done!... very immersive and engaging piece of work you made here... lots of plot twists and turns i failed to see coming... please make the next chapter quick!... make one about the Salamanders next!... Winged Dragon-Wyrm Chaos Space Marines and more? What's not to be excited about that?
1/19/2016 c11 Teefplucka
In response to Zahariel's question about Nikaea, I just found that the DA having been described in their chapter as finding out about the Decree of Nikaea long after the meeting, only to be hinted as having a hand in wiping out the IF librarians during the council some chapters later is a bit conflicting, though I guess you can use the AL (or in this case the DA) excuse to explain it in-universe.
In response to Zahariel's question about Nikaea, I just found that the DA having been described in their chapter as finding out about the Decree of Nikaea long after the meeting, only to be hinted as having a hand in wiping out the IF librarians during the council some chapters later is a bit conflicting, though I guess you can use the AL (or in this case the DA) excuse to explain it in-universe.
1/19/2016 c11 
2Tanner151
Great chapter, really liked how the WEs turned out. Kind of sad that Angron was the last loyal primarch around. Must have been depressing.
2Tanner151Great chapter, really liked how the WEs turned out. Kind of sad that Angron was the last loyal primarch around. Must have been depressing.
1/19/2016 c11 dreddman
damn world eaters all noble and stuff you have suprised me good sir lookin foward to the next chapter.
damn world eaters all noble and stuff you have suprised me good sir lookin foward to the next chapter.
1/19/2016 c11 13The Incredible Muffin
Well, now I know which of my AU Legions is my favorite. These World Eaters are the kind of guys I'd fight alongside. The eyes of Angron are upon us, indeed!
13The Incredible MuffinWell, now I know which of my AU Legions is my favorite. These World Eaters are the kind of guys I'd fight alongside. The eyes of Angron are upon us, indeed!
1/19/2016 c11 2Darkerpaths
Well, I guess I kind of was expecting Angron to still be a slave. But then again with the nails eroding his sanity, even if The Emps saved the gladiators well you covered that.
And I don't think Angron banning the nails all over the galaxy was really necessary, just making them extinct and never speaking of them again would have been enough since I think the true butchers nails were pretty much found only on Nuceria.
I critique because I love this story. The big smurf himself next, Excellent.
Well done.
2DarkerpathsWell, I guess I kind of was expecting Angron to still be a slave. But then again with the nails eroding his sanity, even if The Emps saved the gladiators well you covered that.
And I don't think Angron banning the nails all over the galaxy was really necessary, just making them extinct and never speaking of them again would have been enough since I think the true butchers nails were pretty much found only on Nuceria.
I critique because I love this story. The big smurf himself next, Excellent.
Well done.
1/18/2016 c10 69Jaenera Targaryen
Since XI Legio Astartes does not exist, I'm guessing XII Legio Astartes World Eaters are next then? Looking forward to it, and great job with the Iron Hands. Literally: Ferrus' hands are still untouched by rot...
...and considering he might have fought a C'tan shard...that would explain a few things :)
That...demon tree was a work of genius BTW. Looking forward to World Eaters next, though TBH what I really am looking forward to is XV Legio Astartes Thousand Sons. Three more legions to go...what a wait! Good luck with the muses!
69Jaenera TargaryenSince XI Legio Astartes does not exist, I'm guessing XII Legio Astartes World Eaters are next then? Looking forward to it, and great job with the Iron Hands. Literally: Ferrus' hands are still untouched by rot...
...and considering he might have fought a C'tan shard...that would explain a few things :)
That...demon tree was a work of genius BTW. Looking forward to World Eaters next, though TBH what I really am looking forward to is XV Legio Astartes Thousand Sons. Three more legions to go...what a wait! Good luck with the muses!
1/16/2016 c8 Jaenera Targaryen
Best chapter so far...! I love what you did with the Night Lords, especially since they're not all 'good' seeing as while they will punish rebellion as needed, if said rebellion had a legitimate grievance behind it, well they'll also 'correct' said grievance.
Best chapter so far...! I love what you did with the Night Lords, especially since they're not all 'good' seeing as while they will punish rebellion as needed, if said rebellion had a legitimate grievance behind it, well they'll also 'correct' said grievance.
1/14/2016 c10 2Darkerpaths
Well since you asked in warband of the forsaken sons for ideas about the world eaters.
Just recommended reading, Betrayer had a good insight section on Angron, also the minific in Tales of heresy After Desh'ea told about Angron's first meeting with Kharn after the Emperor took him.
I think if the big E actually saved the gladiators and fought with Angron in the last battle he might have been more agreeing. In canon the emperor made him break his promise to die with his friends. And he just didn't care about anything afterwards.
He felt he was already dead.
Keep up the good work.
2DarkerpathsWell since you asked in warband of the forsaken sons for ideas about the world eaters.
Just recommended reading, Betrayer had a good insight section on Angron, also the minific in Tales of heresy After Desh'ea told about Angron's first meeting with Kharn after the Emperor took him.
I think if the big E actually saved the gladiators and fought with Angron in the last battle he might have been more agreeing. In canon the emperor made him break his promise to die with his friends. And he just didn't care about anything afterwards.
He felt he was already dead.
Keep up the good work.
1/5/2016 c2 Teefplucka
Looking back at this chapter after reading about the first half of the legions, I noticed that while the other gods have Sigismund, the Sanguinor and Branthan as their supreme champions, Tzeentch here seems to be missing a heresy-era champion much like Ahriman in canon. That and some fluff conflicts with later chapters such as events at Nikaea have occurred here, which you may like to revise later.
Also like to comment on how compared to other traitor primarchs so far, each more tragic than the previous, the Lion appears to be the one most difficult to sympathise with, without the freudian excuses or outright misfortunes to justify his fall.
Looking back at this chapter after reading about the first half of the legions, I noticed that while the other gods have Sigismund, the Sanguinor and Branthan as their supreme champions, Tzeentch here seems to be missing a heresy-era champion much like Ahriman in canon. That and some fluff conflicts with later chapters such as events at Nikaea have occurred here, which you may like to revise later.
Also like to comment on how compared to other traitor primarchs so far, each more tragic than the previous, the Lion appears to be the one most difficult to sympathise with, without the freudian excuses or outright misfortunes to justify his fall.
12/31/2015 c1 Robute Gulliman
Hahaha! I would never fall to chaos! You guys are just trying to mess with me.
*nervous laughter*
Totally not a heretic
*more nervous laughter*
Nope, totally pure... In my stasis field... Just chilling... Not corrupted by chaos... BLOOD FOR-... Totally fine...
Hahaha! I would never fall to chaos! You guys are just trying to mess with me.
*nervous laughter*
Totally not a heretic
*more nervous laughter*
Nope, totally pure... In my stasis field... Just chilling... Not corrupted by chaos... BLOOD FOR-... Totally fine...
12/25/2015 c10 2Tech Jammer
Alright! An update! Cant wait which legion you'll be Indexing next! I hope its the Thousand Suns, they're my favorite Alternative Loyalist Legion and Canon Chaos Legion, Since I find their stories to be the most thought out, tragic, and the most empathic of the legions.
Although I wouldnt mind with either the Death Guard or Sons of Horus (or is it Luna Wolves? I havnt read the part when they changed their legion names). Since its a shame that Aurelius Rex is not continuing the Dornian Heresy. Not to mention I never got a chance to read the warhammer40kfanon wikia entry of the Dornian Heresy Black Templars where Abbadon is leading in the eternal crusade, complete with a badass picture of Abadon posing the Sigismund stance holding the Black Sword.
Sigh
No matter patience is a virtue and I would rather have the next chapter be of thought out quality than a rush job, hope to see the update soon, and keep the good work! Cant wait for that Christmas Package!
2Tech JammerAlright! An update! Cant wait which legion you'll be Indexing next! I hope its the Thousand Suns, they're my favorite Alternative Loyalist Legion and Canon Chaos Legion, Since I find their stories to be the most thought out, tragic, and the most empathic of the legions.
Although I wouldnt mind with either the Death Guard or Sons of Horus (or is it Luna Wolves? I havnt read the part when they changed their legion names). Since its a shame that Aurelius Rex is not continuing the Dornian Heresy. Not to mention I never got a chance to read the warhammer40kfanon wikia entry of the Dornian Heresy Black Templars where Abbadon is leading in the eternal crusade, complete with a badass picture of Abadon posing the Sigismund stance holding the Black Sword.
Sigh
No matter patience is a virtue and I would rather have the next chapter be of thought out quality than a rush job, hope to see the update soon, and keep the good work! Cant wait for that Christmas Package!
12/22/2015 c10 Teefplucka
I'm wondering what happened to the Diasporex now.
Did they end up getting exterminated like in canon, or managed to survive into M41 and, say, join the Greater Good?
I'm wondering what happened to the Diasporex now.
Did they end up getting exterminated like in canon, or managed to survive into M41 and, say, join the Greater Good?
12/22/2015 c10 2Tanner151
This was very good update. I do not care much for the Iron Hands in the HH and in canon W40k but was looking forward to your interpretation of them.
Found it curious that you went with Nurgle, but honestly that was a really cool move and it paid off.
Very entertaining and informative and even a bit sad at how the Iron Hands fell. I feel more emotional over RH traitors than HH traitors in most cases, well done there.
The tree thing is both simple and genius at the same time.
I look forward to the World Eaters.
2Tanner151This was very good update. I do not care much for the Iron Hands in the HH and in canon W40k but was looking forward to your interpretation of them.
Found it curious that you went with Nurgle, but honestly that was a really cool move and it paid off.
Very entertaining and informative and even a bit sad at how the Iron Hands fell. I feel more emotional over RH traitors than HH traitors in most cases, well done there.
The tree thing is both simple and genius at the same time.
I look forward to the World Eaters.
12/21/2015 c10 6Nemris
I was really expecting this one, despite my lack of interest in Iron Hands. The last of the non-Ultramarine legions in the core of the heresy. I really like how most of the other legions are somewhat loosely allied with the Arch-Traitor, but Iron Hands are on the other hands are tied in with more than convenience and deceit. And how they still have loyalty among them, for Chaos Marines.
One thing that I really liked and found interesting was the the method of creating more Astartes with their infected physiology. I always wondered how Death Guard managed to refill their ranks (other than adopting from other gene-lines), but Iron hands are not all Plague Marines, which is great for the recruitment, so they do not have such big obstacles. I really think that something like that tree to would be good for canon too.
And good job with Ferrus. I think this is a Primarch you really succeeded with. All with the need for cure for him and his legion, as well as with your argument about how Ferrus might have turned in canon if it was not Fulgrim who was send to recruit him.
Keep up the good work.
6NemrisI was really expecting this one, despite my lack of interest in Iron Hands. The last of the non-Ultramarine legions in the core of the heresy. I really like how most of the other legions are somewhat loosely allied with the Arch-Traitor, but Iron Hands are on the other hands are tied in with more than convenience and deceit. And how they still have loyalty among them, for Chaos Marines.
One thing that I really liked and found interesting was the the method of creating more Astartes with their infected physiology. I always wondered how Death Guard managed to refill their ranks (other than adopting from other gene-lines), but Iron hands are not all Plague Marines, which is great for the recruitment, so they do not have such big obstacles. I really think that something like that tree to would be good for canon too.
And good job with Ferrus. I think this is a Primarch you really succeeded with. All with the need for cure for him and his legion, as well as with your argument about how Ferrus might have turned in canon if it was not Fulgrim who was send to recruit him.
Keep up the good work.