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6/10/2015 c8 Guest
This is the best chapter yet. I like how the Primarchs who canonically got screwed over the most in canon ended up being the most beloved and greatest among them, especially with Kurze. If I have one complaint, it's that the canon loyalists seem to have much more screwed over backgrounds than in canon, and especially compared to the lives of the canon traitors here. Dorn's is especially painful, since nothing good ever happens to him, it's like you combined Angron's and Pert's canon backstories into one and added an even larger amount of failures. That said, I am looking forward to seeing Vulkan's backstory, because he's being built up to be the worst of the traitors after Rowboat. I want to see if you can make it sound plausible, since in most of the backstories for the primarchs you've written the difference between turning loyal and traitor is composed of one pivotal moment changing for better or worse.

Another thing I liked is that the Emperor is a lot more reasonable here, with none of the dick moves he did that drove his sons to Chaos. I hope that doesn't change in future chapters.
6/10/2015 c1 Wargaming
But every canon loyalist primarchs are noble their own right, without exception
6/9/2015 c8 Teefplucka
I had initially though the Emperor did something from the GT that allowed the NL into the webway, but as a result allowed daemons to break in forcing him to exhaust his powers holding them back. We'll see in the AL chapter how the Imperium manages to open up the webway then.

With the BA who are coming up next, are they now going to think they are Horus instead of Sanguinius when they RAGE?
6/8/2015 c8 Spider
I have few words to describe this chapter.

Brilliant and beautiful to name a few. Sure there are a few spelling errors here and there. But the Chapter rises above these Errors with little difficulty.

This has to be the best chapter you have written for this series. Long it may be, But not once did I look away until the very end of the page. packed with little details from start to finish and a brilliant what if? look at what the Lord of the Night could have been. I can see you have done a ton of research here and it really shows through. ADB would be tickled pink if he reads/is reading this. In my mind, this isn't just the equal of the Dornian Heresy. In my view, you have just surpassed it.

Also, your Theory on Argel Tal is interesting. in a strange, but it makes sense sort of way. Though We will have to wait and see what comes next as the Heresy grinds on.

This is now my top Alternate Heresy Fan-work. Bravo, Monsieur, Bravo.

Thoughts - When The Forsaken Sons win their Campaign, will there be a cause for great celebration? E.g. The Unbound celebrating wildly, creating a hall of victories aboard the Hand of Ruin, with captured arms, armour and banners, or the entire Warband assembled before Arken, standing atop a mountain of rubble and bodies, basking in the adoration of his brothers, for giving them their first true victory against the imperium. That sort of thing.

Story ideas - A single Space marine or a small squad from a loyalist chapter (E.g. Black Templars, Flesh Tearers, Iron Hands, Knights of Blood etc becoming disillusioned with both the imperium and their chapter and becoming slowly corrupted by Chaos.

or an Inquister's fall from grace, First as a Puritan, then a Radical and then finally a Servant of Chaos.

Spider out.
6/8/2015 c8 6Nemris
Ave Dominus Nox.
Truly wonderful chapter. Curze is one of my, if not the, favorite of the Primarchs, and I like very much of your version of how thing could have been. As you said, you really made him good guy, just don't make every loyalist Primarch as noble. The cannon loyalist Primarchs have their flaws too.
I must inform you, that I have spotted what looks like the work of Alpha Legion infiltrators: The part about Istavan massacre. It is mentioned that Curze faced against Lion, and this part is before the betrayal of second wave of other four legions. The Primarch that had renounced Emperor and were the defenders of Istavan were Guilliman, Dorn, Sanguinius and Vulcan, so Curze should have not fought against Lion before the Dark Angels and other 3 legions opened fire against their allies.
Keep up the good work.
6/8/2015 c8 13The Incredible Muffin
Wow, the Night Lords are awesome when they aren't evil.
6/8/2015 c8 KnightOfZaku
Awesome! I have been eagerly waiting for this chapter since I first discovered this story. And now that I have read it from start to finish. This is now my official head canon for the Night Lords if they never betrayed the Emperor.

Also, on an unrelated note. I'm glad you updated this story today. I had a hard and depressing weekend and reading this new chapter really cheered me up.

Can't wait for the next update.
5/28/2015 c7 dreddman
good job so far keep going
4/29/2015 c7 36SPG inc
Great work again!
4/16/2015 c4 13The Incredible Muffin
The Iron Warriors were always one of my favorite Chaos Legions, and this is what could have been had they remained loyal? I love it! Iron within, Iron without!
4/13/2015 c7 6Nemris
Thank you for this awesome chapter.
I have read the Dornian heresy, and I have to say that I like the Roboutian heresy considerably more. The Chaos Legions of the Dornian heresy just seem weird and off putting. They are too far from the canon chaos space marines, and they are too... extraordinary? Like that Iron Hands Necron thing. They are all kinda like the cult legions of canon and that just does not sell for me.
I like much more your legions, both chaos and loyal. They seem just the right different, but not too far from their canon models. Love the thing you did with Lucius. Make sure to give Sevatar some love too. Thank you for going trough all this trouble and effort.
Only thing that Dornian beats Roboutian in is that it has pictures of the Astartes. I know that we can't possibly expect pictures from you on top of all things. So inspired by the Roboutian Heresy, I decided to make one. I have one half done Traitor White Scar in the oven. I might not be the most skilled artist out there, but people have said I have some talent. So I would like to ask couple of questions regarding the white scars. What is their post heresy color scheme? I Think they had White with black trims and maybe red markings? Is this Accurate? And what kind of Legion Insignia do they use? Do they still use the same or has there been some changes with the mark? I have few sketches what the post heresy mark could look like. Few more lightnings and maybe some chaos arrowheads. Do they have other distinctive features?
Keep up the AWESOME work
4/13/2015 c7 Guilliman
Squeee an update !
4/12/2015 c7 Spider
Spider reporting

This is great, I loved the dialogue, characterisation and portrayal of Sigismund Dorn, and the 7th Legion here, blending both Kharn and HH Sigismund, Betrayer and Defender into one, I can easily see Sigismund looking like a 40k Khornate Archaon in this setting.
I also loved how you turned their 40k versions on a head, you just nail here.
In Short ,This chapter has made this reviewer very happy.

Take your time, don't rush your work, for this is top-notch writing. The waiting makes it worth it.

Questions - 1. Are you doing the End Times series in your Roboutian Heresy universe or in the regular 40k Universe?

2. Will the Forsaken Sons create/will we see more specific rooms aboard The Hand Of Ruin over time?, (E.g. A hall of remembrance, displaying war-trophies, a librarium for dark knowledge, etc, along with more from the Coven, because it would be interesting to see what sort of Sorceror's Arken has under his Command).

3. Will we see anything from the Titan Legions and Legio Cybernetica (Traitor/ Loyalist) as time goes on? Because it would suitably Epic, to see these war machines in action or joining Arken's Banner.
4. Lastly will the Forsaken Sons (as a whole warband) be officially "donning the Black", by the end of their campaign?

Story Ideas - set in the Roboutian Heresy, either loyalist or Traitor, / The Fall and "Destruction" of the Night Reapers Chapter / a lone or a small group of Loyalist space marines (Blood Angels possibly, since that would make for very interesting reading) captured/ tortured/ corrupted by the Black Legion. (seeing things from their Point of View) or The story of a traitor Imperial Knight household, from the Great Crusade, during the Heresy and unto to the present.

Spider out.
4/12/2015 c7 2Tanner151
Great chapter, really enjoy your portrayal of a Khornate VII.
4/12/2015 c7 6MEleeSmasher
What about the Thousand Sons or the Luna Wolves or even the Death Guard?
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