FanFiction.Net
Just In
Community
Forum
V
More
for Apex

11/4/2016 c4 28DragonEmperor999
That was unbelievable and awesomeness
11/4/2016 c3 DragonEmperor999
That's awesome and can't wait for mote
11/4/2016 c2 DragonEmperor999
Classic Gible
11/4/2016 c1 DragonEmperor999
It was awesome.

That Dragonite is tough
10/30/2016 c1 ChromeSong
Awesome! That's the only word that can describe it, it's not enough to describe it. I find the picture funny though, Magikarp defeats Goku!
6/12/2016 c1 Guest
rylek, you're a fucking faggot. go suck your blank noncharacter self-inserts off more then kill yourself

Story itself is aces
6/7/2016 c1 3rylek196
Y'know, I'm obligated to review this, being a Critics United member (and you asked for it, keep in mind) but that doesn't mean I have to like it. I'm gonna get this outta the way first and foremost: I HATE Ash Ketchum. Therefore, I'm biased against story that features him- VERY biased. The reason for this bias is simple: There're plenty of other, better Trainers than him from the games, staring people in the face, begging to used- and yet hardly anyone does. Look, I know the show is how a lot of people got into Pokemon in Gen 1, but that S.S. Anne has long since sailed, and it wasn't Ash that trekked across Unova and saved it from Team Plasma, it was Hilda/Hilbert. Just... consider your options next time. You may be surprised at how good the game protagonists are as characters if you're willing to put in the elbow grease.

Now let's finally begin the actual review, shall we? Okay, that first opening battle scene- exquisite stuff. Not exactly what I'd call accurate to the games, even in real-time standards (Hydreigon can't fire off a triple Hyper Beam!) so you lose points there, but gain some back with just how intense it was. That was one of the better Pokemon battles I've read on this site.

Unfortunately, things go downhill from there, mostly because every second I spend reading about these characters is another second that makes me want to cut my own wrists open. For example, this: 'Ash was now diligently training for winning the Unova League.' Yeah... good luck there, buddy. Not gonna happen. And judging from the line 'slow is for chumps', someone's never read Tortoise and the Hare. Going by his conversation with Dawn, you have captured Ash's rather dim personality quite well... but I really can't tell you if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

There were a few typos here and there, nothing major, and pointing them all out would be tedious on my end, so I won't bother. I have to admit though, the action scenes are really good... which makes it even MORE of a crying shame you're not writing about a game protagonist.

Now, am I going to continue reading this? Being brutally honest, no. No matter good the action scenes are, if the characters aren't my cup of tea, then I can't keep going. However (and this is a big however) does this mean you should give up on this? Fuck no. Just 'cause it's not MY cup 'o tea doesn't mean it's not other people's. You've got plenty of reviews already, and it's been almost two years since you've updated this. Seems to me like it's time for you to get back to work. ;) Sorry this took so long, by the way. I had insane writer's block on my own story, and that takes priority over reviewing.
6/2/2016 c4 Guest
Need more
3/22/2016 c1 3Duncan0Idaho
Needs work, too rushed for my tastes, you could've separated the battle into an entire secon chapter rather than have it here, gives more time to build up to the climax of the mini arc which is the fight with dragonite.
3/11/2016 c2 9Frostfire613
...poor Piplup.

And I'm so glad that it was Ash that had gotten Dragonite, like he should have. Like honestly, how did anyone think that Iris of all people should have a pokemon that powerful and competitive? She pretty much babies her Axew...like seriously...
10/12/2015 c4 Batman1998
This is good I hope you have ash use sceptile or charizard or snorlax against Georgia just to troll her since that would be funny as hell. I hope you update soon
8/22/2015 c4 Squidgod812
Great story, can't wait to see more!
8/4/2015 c3 Guest
Nice chapter. Good battles
8/4/2015 c2 Guest
Nice that ash git a speaking from Oak. He really needs to improve.

Love that gible is back!
8/4/2015 c1 Guest
Great battle. Really liking it so far.
163 « Prev Page 1 2 3 4 5 .. Last Next »

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service