for Pokemon: Moths to a Flame8/8/2014 c3 Beast of Burden
Is now the time for SuperAsh to save the day? Because I've been waiting for the Chosen One to do his grand heroics for all to see!
Is now the time for SuperAsh to save the day? Because I've been waiting for the Chosen One to do his grand heroics for all to see!
8/8/2014 c3 
6Lightningblade49
Anime Councils all seem to be same with how they react in a crisis.
Cynthia is definitely a badass and definitely very open in her opinions, that lazyass Red should get off his mountain.
Your portrayal of team Galactic definitely paints the picture of a hardened criminal group they are in this world.
Id space out your writing a bit more as well to make it easier to read.
ps: IS gardenia actually crippled or a figure od speech?
6Lightningblade49Anime Councils all seem to be same with how they react in a crisis.
Cynthia is definitely a badass and definitely very open in her opinions, that lazyass Red should get off his mountain.
Your portrayal of team Galactic definitely paints the picture of a hardened criminal group they are in this world.
Id space out your writing a bit more as well to make it easier to read.
ps: IS gardenia actually crippled or a figure od speech?
8/6/2014 c2 Lightningblade49
So it's not just Cynthia with combat experience but all gym leaders and probably Elite four, will be interested in seeing how much Ash can do after traveling so long. Maybe twin Katana if he's ben training with his Sceptile.
So it's not just Cynthia with combat experience but all gym leaders and probably Elite four, will be interested in seeing how much Ash can do after traveling so long. Maybe twin Katana if he's ben training with his Sceptile.
8/6/2014 c1 5Pure Gamer
Wow, awesomeness!
I'm soooo glad you wrote Cynthia this way; her in her epic state, I see her like this, too! I love Cynthia, she's my favorite Pokemon character, and I think you've sculpted her well. Your writing is very good! Your description is lovely and amazing, and all the battling was practically flawless. Although, there were some weird punctuation errors in a few spots. "Surround her" commanded Mars. Why isn't there an ending punctuation mark after "her," where the quote ends? This appeared about everywhere there was dialogue or thoughts, and it bothered me. Haha. Another thing: The Author Notes added in throughout the story...Annoying, and I wouldn't recommend having them in there because it doesn't help the reader get sucked in and immersed in your story.
Anyways, this story (so far) is really awesome and just plain epic. Keep it up!
Keep writing.
5Pure GamerWow, awesomeness!
I'm soooo glad you wrote Cynthia this way; her in her epic state, I see her like this, too! I love Cynthia, she's my favorite Pokemon character, and I think you've sculpted her well. Your writing is very good! Your description is lovely and amazing, and all the battling was practically flawless. Although, there were some weird punctuation errors in a few spots. "Surround her" commanded Mars. Why isn't there an ending punctuation mark after "her," where the quote ends? This appeared about everywhere there was dialogue or thoughts, and it bothered me. Haha. Another thing: The Author Notes added in throughout the story...Annoying, and I wouldn't recommend having them in there because it doesn't help the reader get sucked in and immersed in your story.
Anyways, this story (so far) is really awesome and just plain epic. Keep it up!
Keep writing.
8/6/2014 c1 missingyes00
I definitely love the action packed stories :) keep doing what you're doing.
I definitely love the action packed stories :) keep doing what you're doing.
8/5/2014 c1 Beast of Burden
I don't know much about what's going on, but I like AshxCynthia. I also want to see Ash start chucking Aura Spheres and doing those aura-enhanced dodges and movements and stuff. You know be the Chosen One, Aura Guardian, King of the Sea person he's supposed to be. Unless all the movies are supposed to mean nothing.
Wow I really picked up steam there at the end... I meant every word though; he should be super badass.
I don't know much about what's going on, but I like AshxCynthia. I also want to see Ash start chucking Aura Spheres and doing those aura-enhanced dodges and movements and stuff. You know be the Chosen One, Aura Guardian, King of the Sea person he's supposed to be. Unless all the movies are supposed to mean nothing.
Wow I really picked up steam there at the end... I meant every word though; he should be super badass.
8/5/2014 c1 6Lightningblade49
Wow must say not what I was expecting from someone so nervous. This is very good certainly very different as well adding a trainer fighting element is not used often and Ive personally never seen Cynthia used actually fighting, mentions yes but not literally so that's a first.
Literally jumped straight into a war zone as well which was a surprise start point but not a bad one.
The cut off point for the chapter was a bit soon for my taste but not a bad first chapter at all.
Don't really read stories outside a mainly Ash pov but I think i'll give this a go.
6Lightningblade49Wow must say not what I was expecting from someone so nervous. This is very good certainly very different as well adding a trainer fighting element is not used often and Ive personally never seen Cynthia used actually fighting, mentions yes but not literally so that's a first.
Literally jumped straight into a war zone as well which was a surprise start point but not a bad one.
The cut off point for the chapter was a bit soon for my taste but not a bad first chapter at all.
Don't really read stories outside a mainly Ash pov but I think i'll give this a go.