for Embracing His True Self3/17 c114 kylie12potter
If you can't find the documents then maybe just make an OC. Like... I don't know, give Dumbledore a kid who mysteriously appears for revenge against their father or something.
If you can't find the documents then maybe just make an OC. Like... I don't know, give Dumbledore a kid who mysteriously appears for revenge against their father or something.
2/21 c114 leggyrespect123
This has been a great story :) Yes admittedly a bit draggy at parts but overall still keeps the reader's interest :P My suggestion for the 'final battle' is not to have yet another Order attack - that doesn't make sense since practically all the Order has been taken out already & it feels deja vu to pull out yet another one - but to have a final battle involving professional assassins hired by an Order sympathiser to take out Harry or just someone who wants to take over the MOM position & not let Tom have it. Would be lovely to read of a battle where the new Minister & his Undersecretary show themselves to be quite capable of leading the Aurors themselves in a battle, & win the allegiance of the Aurors (& other Ministry personnel) by demonstrating how capable they are of both leading raids or running the show in the ministry offices. If written from this angle, then I think - in my humble opinion - this story will round off & end nicely by moving it away from the Order attacks emphasis that are quite sufficient already.
This has been a great story :) Yes admittedly a bit draggy at parts but overall still keeps the reader's interest :P My suggestion for the 'final battle' is not to have yet another Order attack - that doesn't make sense since practically all the Order has been taken out already & it feels deja vu to pull out yet another one - but to have a final battle involving professional assassins hired by an Order sympathiser to take out Harry or just someone who wants to take over the MOM position & not let Tom have it. Would be lovely to read of a battle where the new Minister & his Undersecretary show themselves to be quite capable of leading the Aurors themselves in a battle, & win the allegiance of the Aurors (& other Ministry personnel) by demonstrating how capable they are of both leading raids or running the show in the ministry offices. If written from this angle, then I think - in my humble opinion - this story will round off & end nicely by moving it away from the Order attacks emphasis that are quite sufficient already.
2/21 c77 
1Darknessdawns
So, there's an issue with the whole prophecy scene. Hermione should know nothing about it since the battle at the Ministry never happened, same for Harry to an extent. He shouldn't know about the way it was labeled since he never went to retrieve the prophecy. Voldemort walked into the Ministry polyjuiced as Lucius Malfoy and took the original with him, leaving a replica behind. I'm pretty sure this happened within the first ten chapters. So unless I've missed something Hermione should have no clue about any of it and there's been nothing said about Voldemort mentioning it to Harry.
1DarknessdawnsSo, there's an issue with the whole prophecy scene. Hermione should know nothing about it since the battle at the Ministry never happened, same for Harry to an extent. He shouldn't know about the way it was labeled since he never went to retrieve the prophecy. Voldemort walked into the Ministry polyjuiced as Lucius Malfoy and took the original with him, leaving a replica behind. I'm pretty sure this happened within the first ten chapters. So unless I've missed something Hermione should have no clue about any of it and there's been nothing said about Voldemort mentioning it to Harry.
2/21 c75 Darknessdawns
Well this chapter states that the holiday Sirius and Remus are on will end in about a month. The six months cruise holiday? Unless Dumbledore's court date was changed until December that shouldn't be happening. They didn't even decided to take the cruise until what mid to late August? The timeline in this story definitely gets confusing. Don't get me wrong, this is one of my absolute favorite Dark Harry pieces. I just can't help but notice the inconsistencies of the timeline. Not to mention that Dumbledore was captured on Harry's birthday when the wards around Grimmauld Place we're tripped when he went to try to find a book about stopping Fawkes. A few chapters ago the whole stopping Fawkes from assisting Dumbledore was mentioned again and it still had not been resolved. It hasn't been mentioned since within the story so I'm still curious on whether a solution has been found.
Well this chapter states that the holiday Sirius and Remus are on will end in about a month. The six months cruise holiday? Unless Dumbledore's court date was changed until December that shouldn't be happening. They didn't even decided to take the cruise until what mid to late August? The timeline in this story definitely gets confusing. Don't get me wrong, this is one of my absolute favorite Dark Harry pieces. I just can't help but notice the inconsistencies of the timeline. Not to mention that Dumbledore was captured on Harry's birthday when the wards around Grimmauld Place we're tripped when he went to try to find a book about stopping Fawkes. A few chapters ago the whole stopping Fawkes from assisting Dumbledore was mentioned again and it still had not been resolved. It hasn't been mentioned since within the story so I'm still curious on whether a solution has been found.
2/21 c72 Darknessdawns
When Ginny is on the witness stand Madam Bones asked her about the events of her Second year, rather than first.
When Ginny is on the witness stand Madam Bones asked her about the events of her Second year, rather than first.
2/21 c71 Darknessdawns
Another error. Harry' was 15 in his fifth year when he left Hogwarts, not fourteen.
Another error. Harry' was 15 in his fifth year when he left Hogwarts, not fourteen.
2/21 c71 Darknessdawns
Ok, I've noticed a minor error that has cropped up twice. It hasn't been years since anyone saw Harry. Harry left Hogwarts during the winter of his fifth year after secretly taking his owls. When Dumbledore was arrested it had been like 6 months and was August first of the same year. Essentially the summer before what would have been Harry's sixth year. At that time Harry was informed that Dumbledore's trial would be around the end of September the same year. So it's really only been around 7 to 9 months since Harry left Hogwarts. However it's been said that it's been 3 years at one point and just years at another.
Also Luna didn't return to Hogwarts for her 5th year. Has she taken her owls early or is that a typo?
Ok, I've noticed a minor error that has cropped up twice. It hasn't been years since anyone saw Harry. Harry left Hogwarts during the winter of his fifth year after secretly taking his owls. When Dumbledore was arrested it had been like 6 months and was August first of the same year. Essentially the summer before what would have been Harry's sixth year. At that time Harry was informed that Dumbledore's trial would be around the end of September the same year. So it's really only been around 7 to 9 months since Harry left Hogwarts. However it's been said that it's been 3 years at one point and just years at another.
Also Luna didn't return to Hogwarts for her 5th year. Has she taken her owls early or is that a typo?
2/20 c54 Darknessdawns
Oh. Apparently you caught that issue with the names. Why didn't you fix the error? At any rate I'll stop commenting on it.
Oh. Apparently you caught that issue with the names. Why didn't you fix the error? At any rate I'll stop commenting on it.
2/19 c50 Darknessdawns
Just thought you should know two of the Lestrange's names are switched in this chapter. You've got Rabastan as the father and Rabastian as the son.
Just thought you should know two of the Lestrange's names are switched in this chapter. You've got Rabastan as the father and Rabastian as the son.
2/18 c39 Darknessdawns
So. I noticed in the author's note that someone mentioned that Sirius had been proven innocent earlier in the story. However in the last paragraph of the first section of the story it's mentioned that Harry can take on the mantle of Lord Black due to Sirius' most wanted status. Just thought to should know the error is still there.
So. I noticed in the author's note that someone mentioned that Sirius had been proven innocent earlier in the story. However in the last paragraph of the first section of the story it's mentioned that Harry can take on the mantle of Lord Black due to Sirius' most wanted status. Just thought to should know the error is still there.
2/17 c24 Darknessdawns
I just thought you should know that Augusta Longbottom is listed as Neville's grandfather when she's introduced in this chapter.
I just thought you should know that Augusta Longbottom is listed as Neville's grandfather when she's introduced in this chapter.
2/17 c23 Darknessdawns
This chapter has to be one of my absolute favorites. I love the vindictive spell Harry put on Umbridge's broach. The momentary evil smirk he spotted was just perfect, especially with Snape's thoughts on it. This story is definitely one of my favorites. I love how Dark Harry is and how utterly Slytherin.
This chapter has to be one of my absolute favorites. I love the vindictive spell Harry put on Umbridge's broach. The momentary evil smirk he spotted was just perfect, especially with Snape's thoughts on it. This story is definitely one of my favorites. I love how Dark Harry is and how utterly Slytherin.
2/8 c114 2WinterForestWalker
I have read this story through several times now and still enjoy it very much. In particular I like that Harry tempers Voldemort, yes Harry is Dark, yes he wants revenge but typically he still wants to stand up for others, which was very much his MO in canon, but he also stands up for himself and doesn't take crap from anyone anymore. He just does it all with a little murder and mayhem.
2WinterForestWalkerI have read this story through several times now and still enjoy it very much. In particular I like that Harry tempers Voldemort, yes Harry is Dark, yes he wants revenge but typically he still wants to stand up for others, which was very much his MO in canon, but he also stands up for himself and doesn't take crap from anyone anymore. He just does it all with a little murder and mayhem.
1/24 c114 qwertyuiop123214685
great story, please update!
love this story, want to see how it wraps up!
great story, please update!
love this story, want to see how it wraps up!