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for Torn Apart

12/31/2017 c2 9melisandro99
Hi, finally I read this chapter. It was really funny to read the dialogue between Avery and her girlfriend . I will read the others tomorrow
P.S. Is Sonya Ada?
10/4/2017 c1 melisandro99
Read the 1st chapter and it's really nice. I only didn't understand why is Carla blonde?
11/3/2016 c14 HiddenVenia
Definitely a good chapter! I liked that things seemed to move a bit, but it wasn't rushed which seems to happen with other stories a lot! I also liked the interaction with Jill and Chris as it seemed pretty accurate to their characters! Keep up the good work!
11/1/2016 c13 HiddenVenia
Awww, that's so nice! I plan to keep reading as long as the story is updated! 3
10/18/2016 c12 HiddenVenia
I have to say, I really like how..."Snarky?" You make Piers out to be even if I have a hard time actually imagining him being that way to Carla. As for Carla , I am a little confused about her. I don't fully understand how she can be there unless this Carla isn't the Carla from the game, or your story is deviating from the game's plot a bit.

Either way I hope to read more and see what happens!
9/9/2015 c11 Stern

sorry I'm reviewing this so late, I just saw it now.

Plot gets thicker, I wonder where it will end. Hope Chris remembers soon where he saw that face. :)
And Avery and Ivy are till so cute. Still hopefully no conflict later.

Have a nice week,

1/12/2015 c1 3mercilessfangirl.exe
Alrighty, I've finally read this chapter. Although I'm not all familiar with most characters in RE that you've included on here, but hey I'm the type who reads harry potter fics even tho I have no idea what that thing is about. I'm really interested in this one so I'm gonna familiarize myself with more characters soon before I move on with more of your chapters. That's all, keep up the good work!
1/6/2015 c10 Stern
Hey there,

told you I would read on. Piers has no luck really. And the subplot with the traitor at BSAA is quite interesting. FF-formating doesn't like you there are again words, that are mangled. Avery and Ivy at the bar was so entertaining! :)

On a side note: If an adjective or adverb is two times in a line, there's one to many. 'placing the bomb casually... walked away casually.' Not to be harsh, but take it as an advice for reports/essays or housework. It will guaranteed catch the readers/teachers eyes and not in the good way.

But don't be discouraged. You're trying your best and it is a good story.

Till next time,

1/4/2015 c9 stern
Hi there

first off: Happy New Year.

Second: I'm still not believing Ivy is truthful. But maybe love will find its way.
Poor Piers; get him saved already! ;)

There are a few things not right: anxious was written wrong or something else but I don't recognize the words 'ani exta'. Some sentences were I would have changed the time. But overall still an enjoyable reading.

Have a good start next week,

11/29/2014 c8 stern

don't worry, nobody is holding a gun to your head and RL has priority always. I'm simply glad that I can read a new chapter. And I'm happy for you! Lead trombone that does sound awesome! Give your best!

Oh Avery, I'm not sure having a reporter as girlfriend is a good idea in your position...but it's all building up nicely. Poor facility scientists tough...

Have a nice weekend,

11/24/2014 c7 stern
Hi there,

starting to like Avery, I'm curious what her role in this will be. Downing will have problems soon, too bad Piers can't hurt him (I bet he wants to).

Have a nice day,

11/20/2014 c6 stern
Hi there,

of course I'm reading on, I want to know what happens :)
I can't promise I review every chapter, because I can be a scatterbrain and simply forget. ( But I will try)

I have a question for a phrase in this chapter: what is a 'piss party'? Google-ing it gave me some really weird choices . (none of them should be repeated, and I don't think you meant them).

Furthermore: there's not always a comma before an 'and'. Sorry, I'm not that good with them either but some of them seemed misplaced.

Okay stopping rambling now; have a nice evening (or whatever it is right now in your country),

11/20/2014 c5 stern
Hi author,

I saw you took my advice, it does read a lot more fluently. Thank you. I can't wait to know what will happen when Pier and Chris meet each other.

11/19/2014 c4 stern

I would like to agree with my fellow reviewer, who said that the plot is interesting. I too want to read more of this story. There is just one tiny bit that sucks the fun out of it and that is the repetition of the words 'female/male'. Why don't you write 'woman/man' or their names (overall not only in this chapter)? But really apart from that I like the story very much.

Have a nice week,

11/18/2014 c4 27AgeofLoneliness
Well, to start I think proof reading your chapters before posting will really help you. Overall it sounds like an interesting plot, it's just all over the place. You need to set a pace and set your events carefully. Also, add more history to your Oc's and try to explain why they are important for the story. I do like how you are planning to add Frederick who seems to have become a forgotten character. I hope you dont take my words in the wrong way and give up, that's the last i would want. Good luck to you

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